Stay
by happyinchintz72
Summary: Luke needs a doctor and the only one he wants, he hasn't seen in over a month... Luke and Reid centric. Plenty of shameless fluff and a good amount of angst. Multi-Chapter Fic. Updated regularly :
1. Chapter 1

Luke shifted onto his side for the hundredth time and winced in pain. He lay awkwardly on the couch in the lamp lit lounge and felt decidedly sorry for himself. His chest tightened every now and then with worry as the many causes of the pain he was feeling ran through his head. He knew he should tell someone but as the list of possible go-to people formed in his mind he felt a slight sadness as he realised each had so much more to worry about.

_Dad, well he's newly engaged to Molly and then there's Silas. Not going there. Mum, Gabriel's her new project so there's no way I'm even going to compete for her attention. Grandma Emma, between caring for Aunt Meg and the drama with Emily and Paul I doubt she'd have any time for me right now. Grandmother, Lucinda Walsh was on a one woman mission to ensure Craig Montgomery got his just deserts so she was difficult to get a hold of. Noah..._

Luke winced again but not through the pain in his side. He and Noah were over and Luke had felt resolve in that, except being caught kissing someone else wasn't the way he'd have liked it to truly come to an end. It'd been around a month since that day and Luke felt his throat tighten. Six months ago Noah would have been there with him now, no doubt stroking his hair and telling him he'd be fine or worrying and calling a doctor...

Reid. His name was last to appear in Luke's list but not due to preference. It'd also been around a month since he'd seen Reid and thinking about him only made that time seem longer and the ache in his stomach feel heavier. Luke, now lying on his side, wrapped his arm around his own waist and sighed. He wanted to see him. So much.

The last day he'd set eyes on Reid was one of the most confusing and painful days he'd ever experienced. The image of Reid playing chess drifted into Luke's mind and he smiled slightly. Luke had never seen him that way before, kind of domestic and normal and the moment he started to talk and the way he absent mindedly forgot himself had captured Luke's heart more than he ever thought possible. He felt excited at being the one to have the power to elicit such new sides to Reid's personality and felt giddiness wash over him as Reid talked of crushing on guys and his geeky chess tornaments. In those few hours, Luke could remember putting his stresses to one side and letting go. Reid fascinated him and every moment was spontaneous when they were alone. Luke had no idea if their encounter would end in a kiss or an argument but even in their most heated moments, their honesty fuelled their fight and both felt liberated and in amongst their words flowed a form of trust they'd never encountered before.

As Luke had melted into the kiss he'd begun, he remembered allowing himself to feel something he'd been keeping at bay for a long time. His heart ached in a sweet kind of agony and in that moment his lips had touched Reid's, Luke knew he never wanted to stop. He wanted this confident, smart and gorgeous guy to stay in his life and it hurt to realise he was messing it all up by failing to sort the situation between himself and Noah. Little did he know that Noah could see every touch and kiss through the window and the entire night would end with Reid nursing a black eye and Noah accusing Luke of cheating his heart. Luke knew that this was his only chance to put things right. He could remember Katie leaving his mother's party in shock at what she'd just witnessed. As she'd intervened to take Reid home, Luke felt his chest constrict with Reid's parting look. He knew he was very close to Reid walking away and as much as it hurt knowing that, it was what Luke admired about him. Reid wasn't a game player. Yes he was arrogant and ambitious, but he was not the kind of person to accept second best. What Reid didn't know is that Luke hadn't felt as happy as he had around Reid for a long long time and this made him anything but second best but it was circumstances that forced Luke's decisions. This being the case, Luke could remember his words to Noah that night and he way he'd let his anger and fear and bubbling emotions erupt into a tirade of tears and fury. He called Noah out on his accusations and reiterated for the hundredth time that they weren't together. As regret dawned on Noah, they'd spent the rest of the night talking and crying, hugging and resolving to the conclusion that they'd messed a lot of things up and acted stupidly for a long time. Luke remembered wishing those resolutions had come sooner.

...

Luke wiped his eyes and straightened his t-shirt as he stood at Katie's door. His stomach in knots, he rang the bell.

Luke could hear Jacob crying softly from inside and felt awful. In one night he's caused an assault, an emotional break down and now a restless baby. Someone, somewhere clearly hated him.

The door opened. "Luke? Hi, come in." Katie, Jacob on her hip, ushered him inside.

Luke felt suffocated and an immediate need to retreat and leave. He fought his fears and spoke.

"I'm sorry to come over so late. I just...I wanted... I mean, is Reid here?"

A slow smile spread across her face accompanied by a slight frown. "Don't worry about it, Jacob's having a restless night anyway. Reid's here, he's in his room."

Katie left with Jacob and as Luke passed her room he heard a muffled lullaby. He felt a strange sense of peace that Reid lived in such a warm and comforting home. Shaking that off, he found himself outside Reid's bedroom, his heart hammering against his chest as he knocked on the door.

"Katie, as if I haven't had enough for one night, you want me to sing to Jacob again...seriously, do you want a gay son? I've told you time and time again that Justin Timberlake is not a healthy addiction for an infant..."

Luke smiled and shook his head. He felt tearful for some reason.

"Um...Reid... it's no-"

The door opened quickly. "Luke what are you doing here?"

Stammering a little and in a quiet voice Luke muttered, "You sing Justin Timberlake to Jacob?"

He wanted Reid to smirk and shoot a sarcastic remark back at him so badly but instead Reid held his stoic expression causing Luke's heart to hurt.

"Look, if you've come to explain about tonight, there's really no need. Noah lashed out. To be honest it's the first sign of a real personality I've seen from him so in a way I was impressed."

Reid turned, unblocking the doorway, and began folding a small pile of sweatshirts that lay amongst a sea of other belongings on his bed. Luke's eyes stung and his throat thickened. His eyes fell on a suitcase in the centre of the floor.

"Reid?" Luke's voice was uncharacteristically quiet.

His back still to Luke, purposefully, Reid closed his eyes and stopped mid-fold. He knew that if he didn't keep a hold on himself now he'd never be able to leave.

As he began to move again, he spoke slowly.

"Look, we both know that tonight got way out of hand. I should have stopped this a long time ago and it's about time somebody did something to put an end to it." Reid's mind swam with images of Luke and Noah and each was interjected with a single bright image of himself with Luke. He suppressed a depressed laugh as he wondered how he could ever let himself believe he was capable of being in a couple, capable of opening his heart. He continued folding his clothes mechanically.

Luke could feel his heart beating against his t-shirt and clenched his hands in an attempt to stop himself from moving, crying and falling to the floor. He had never felt as exhausted as he did in this moment and he wanted one thing only- Reid. It'd taken him so long to get to this point and he knew he was just too late.

"I... I'm... sorry."

Reid was sure he could sense Luke choking back tears but couldn't turn around. In an instant he'd move to comfort him and that was counter productive. Reid was on a one man mission to get the hell out of Oakhell. This town really did have tentacles and he wouldn't let this cute, caring blonde one keep a hold any longer. If we wanted Noah, Reid was going to make it just that little bit easier for him, and then they'd all be happy. Yes, they'd be much happier.

"I'm sorry." Luke's voice sounded stronger.

Reid was folding jeans now. Luke could feel himself getting angry. His tears now compressed, he felt frustration wash over him and anger burn in his chest. Reid's guards were impenetrable now and this fact was enough to drive Luke mad. He could break them down. He had to.

"You think you're so noble and self righteous don't you?" Luke spat.

Reid frowned and turned around. "You really think that by insulting me you're going to make anything better?"

"No but it sure as hell will make me feel better."

"Mr Snyder, you need to leave."

"I can't believe you. You do this so easily don't you?"

Reid's heart ached knowing that this wasn't true at all. This was one of the most difficult things he'd ever had to do.

"Luke, go home."

"What? So you can pack up and just leave? Cos that's so simple isn't it? I thought you never gave up on a fight. You're the great Doctor Oliver. Oh go on, that's it, turn your back, you do it so well don't you. Things get tough and you leave."

Luke felt sick. He'd said something so similar to Noah in the past and this only angered him more.

Reid, back turned again, dug his fingers into the sweater he was holding and breathed a controlled sigh.

Luke continued, "You are such a coward. Everyone thinks you're this brave and strong doctor, capable of anything and look at you, you're running away scared."

Luke knew he was crossing a line but kept going. Fear fuelled his fight and he poured every emotion into his words. He was desperate; terrified. Terrified of seeing Reid leave through the door and so scared he'd never come back.

He still carried on, "I wish I'd never dragged you here. You could have stayed in Dallas with your perfect life and I could have carried on-"

"What? Carried on what Luke?" Reid turned in an instant.

Luke's face burned, his heart now beating in his ears.

"I could...I could have carried on with my life."

Reid short sarcastic laugh felt like a slap in the face.

"Well, now you can."

"So you're just going to leave and pretend like this all never happened. What about the new hospital wing? Katie? Jacob? Bob? Your patients? What about..."

"What? What about what Luke?" Reid took a step forward and kept his eyes resolute.

Luke couldn't do this anymore. He wanted to throw himself at Reid, to wrap his arms around his neck and break down those barriers he'd had so much fun seeing fall away earlier. Now, standing in front of Reid like this, hurt more than he could explain. Luke choked on his words and looked to the floor.

"_Me_."


	2. Chapter 2

Luke hugged himself tighter as he relived that night. He remembered watching as Reid packed his life away in a suitcase, feeling so helpless. The scrunched his eyes and curled further in on himself.

...

"Luke..." Reid had sighed, his shoulders dropping a little.

"Why are you leaving? Everyone always leaves."

Reid felt his chest constrict as he stared at Luke's crumpled t-shirt and watery eyes. He had never felt a more overwhelming need to protect and care for anyone else in his life. Being a doctor was a duty to care and he took this responsibility seriously but this was different, he wanted to care out of ... he didn't know what it was out of, but he knew he'd never felt this way before. That realisation made the past months and this inevitable event even harder to stomach.

"Someone had to put an end to this and it's ironic the catalyst was Noah's fist...well if you can call it that... in my face but look at us. This isn't pretty."

Luke took the time to actually look at Reid. He remembered the first day he saw him in Memorial with his briefcase and hard exterior and compared it with the man he saw before him. This man was softer, noticeably, but Luke could see a pain behind his eyes. His gaze flickered to Reid's cheek and he winced when he saw the bruise that had begun to form. This was all wrong.

"Reid I'm..."

Luke's back fell against the door frame as his hands flew up to hide his face. He let his head fall back against the wood.

Reid couldn't stand it. Luke was feisty and funny, cute and playful ... this guy before him was forlorn and melancholy, broken and defeated. This wasn't the way things should be. He felt his hand twitch. He wanted to reach out to pull Luke's fingers from over his eyes. He wanted to take the pain away.

"Luke I'm going away for a while, not because I'm running away, not because I'm leaving anyone or anything and I'm not a cowa-"

"I didn't mean that. I'm sorry."

"Look, it doesn't matter. I get it. I'm leaving because it's the best thing for everyone. You don't need me to make things worse and I'm sure as hell not sticking around as Noah's punch bag, however fun that may be. You dragged me here for a reason, I did what you wanted me to do and things got messy. I don't do messy Luke."

"I know," Luke sighed and faced Reid, "I just... I know I dragged you here. I know you helped Noah. I'll always be grateful for that."

"Good. Well, we know where we stand then." Reid's words were well rehearsed and were executed almost professionally. He was used to this. Clinical was something he was good at. Convincing himself...well, there he was an expert.

Luke wanted to say it was more than that. He wanted to explain to Reid just how little he actually knew but that in itself would have been met with sarcasm. He wanted to smother Reid in all of the affection and love contained inside of him. He'd waited a long time to find someone who would let him, knowing he'd tried with Noah and it was never enough.

Instead, Luke put up his own barriers. Reid wasn't going to budge and after months of this, miraculously the fight had left him. He sniffed and rubbed his hand over his face.

"Where are you going to go?"

"There's a neurosurgery conference in Chicago. I was invited before I even came here so..."

Luke's heart skipped. His face masked with confusion.

"So you're not leaving for good?"

Reid let out a sharp laugh and raised his eyebrows.

"As much as I'd like to get the hell out of this godforsaken place, I really don't do running away, Luke."

"I'm sorry I said that too." Luke frowned and glanced apologetically at the man before him. Luke's frame visibly relaxed.

"Uh-huh." Reid glanced knowingly at Luke and that was all it required. There was that trust again.

A period of silence reigned over them for a few moments as Reid turned to his packing once again. Luke, now feeling somewhat nervous and still unsure, knew Reid was right. Something had to give and no matter what he felt, the way he'd acted and the complicated situation that had developed needed to come to an end. The panic of losing Reid still coursed through his veins but as he moved closer to the bed and picked up an unfolded scrub top and began smoothing down its edges, the sideways smile forming on Reid's lips made his heart swell and hurt in succession.

...

Luke uncurled himself a little and tried to sit up. His head, now throbbing, felt heavy and he felt the panic rise as he realised he was sweating slightly. He pressed his index fingers at his temples in the hope that something would give and sat forward trying to relax.

He had understood Reid's decision. After a few days of Reid not being there he began to not only understand it but he felt grateful. He and Noah had been able to sort through their problems and Noah had even begun working on applications to film schools. They were getting quite good at being friends and they both knew that this was for the best. Luke had steered clear of typical family drama but a day spent with the horses and his dad had filled his heart with so much happiness, he hardly knew how to put it into words. The ache of regret was ever present and Luke knew there was another feeling lingering there, suppressed by the fact he knew better. He missed Reid. He let himself think these thoughts at odd moments... like now.

_Are you an idiot? What are you doing lying there in pain when there are doctors waiting to take care of you? Look after yourself Luke. _

He knew exactly what Reid would say if he were here with him. His words were strangely ever present in moments like this and Luke let out a breathless chuckle. Lying alone in an empty house with the realisation that nobody was coming home, made him see sense. He gradually eased himself to a standing position and reached out to pull the lamp chord, plunging the lounge into darkness. When he eventually reached the door, he tentatively felt for his keys in the bowl by the handle and stepped out into the cool night. He knew what he had to do.

As usual Reid was right- if he did nothing, he really would be an idiot.


	3. Chapter 3

As Reid's hand pushed down on the door handle, he could already hear the inevitable screech he'd been expecting.

"Reid!" Katie threw her arms around his neck, her long blonde hair tickling his face.

"You miss me that much?" Reid joked with a trademark smirk as he swatted at blonde strands, "wow, Katie you really do need a life."

Katie hit him playfully on the shoulder before picking up his bags for him and carrying them to his room. Reid watched her leave and moved further into the room.

Katie's voice echoed into the lounge, "Don't even think about raiding the fridge Reid."

He rolled his eyes and took off his jacket, throwing it on the couch. He'd never admit it but it felt so nice to be... home. Katie strutted back into the room, snapping him out of his inner thoughts. _Damn them. _He was sure he never had those in Dallas.

"So, come on then, tell me all about your trip." Katie said, positioning herself on the sofa as if a grand story was about to be told. Reid was stoney faced.

"You're asking me to regail you of my experiences at the Chicago Institute of Neurolosurgery's Yearly Conference?"

Katie shuffled uncomfortably and answered, "You're my roommate, I like to show an interest."

Reid sighed. They hadn't lived together long but he was particularly skilled at reading people, especially Katie. There was no way she wanted to talk about the conference- she wanted company. Knowing that feeling all too well but mentally shaking it off, he didn't have time to dwell on stuff like that, he played along.

"So you'll be interested in the seminar by Doctor David Grant centred around the discussion of the recent developments in Cortical Plasticity Induced by Inhibitory Neuron Transplantation, will you?"

Katie's eyes glazed over and Reid suppressed a laugh. She really was transparent.

"Ok...," Reid shook his head and grimaced in mock pain, "what do you really want to talk about?" He sat down beside her.

"You just got back! I haven't seen you for over a month, I missed you...yes...even your disgusting sandwiches and I wanted to spend some time with you. Stop being so... you."

All the while Katie spoke Reid sat still with raised eyebrows, a look of 'oh really' plastered all over his face.

Katie sighed and dropped her head onto the couch behind her, "Ok ok ok. I hate you. You do realise that right?"

She tipped her head to one side to face Reid, noticing that he had mirrored her position, and smiled.

"You just keep telling yourself that." Reid smirked but this time it was full of warmth.

"Oh shut up, " she laughed accompanied by another playful punch. Reid was sure he'd be black and blue by the end of the night, "I have something to tell you."

Concealing an 'i knew it', Reid felt he'd given her enough of a hard time and was less than eager for her to turn her questioning to his feelings (he shuddered at the thought) so he practiced his best sincere face and let her finish.

...

_Memorial looks so creepy at this time of night_, Luke thought as he shuffled to the drop-in desk. He was about to turn the corner when he heard a voice behind him.

"Luke?"

He clutched his side and turned slowly, his eyes fuzzy and breathing shallow. The image of Bob Hughes in his trademark lab coat entered his eyeline. The labcoat made him think of Reid and somewhere inside of him ached.

"Luke, what are you doing here so late?" Bob's concerned tone of voice soothed Luke instantly and he had an unusual urge to hug the aging doctor. He craved comfort.

Luke swayed on the spot and reached to clutch the rail running along the side of the wall as another shooting pain fired through his body. His eyes tight together, Luke groaned in pain as he felt Dr Hughes' arm steady him. They took a slow walk along the corridoor and Luke found himself drifting in and out of his body ... the panic flooding his brain as he fought to keep a hold of himself. With his temperature rising and throat constricted, he reached out to grab the bed that had materialised in front of him. He felt himself being lowered gently onto something soft. Voices were mumbling in the room and two figures reached and poked and prodded around him.

_My back. I can't breathe. Noah, I'm so sorry. Dad. I'm so stupid. Mum. The pain. Please help. I can't think. My head._

So many muddled thoughts fought at his lips and the only word that escaped was "_Reid."_

...

"Oh I may actually vomit." Reid went to stand and Katie dragged his shoulders back down to the couch.

"You SAID you'd listen. Now listen and do as you're told," her tone was forceful and intensely motherly. _Poor Jacob_, Reid thought wickedly, _he's never going to get a girlfriend, or boyfriend_, he mentally added with an inner smirk, "REID! Are you even listening to me?"

"Katie. The less I know about you and Doogie's sex life, the better I'll sleep tonight so no I'm not listening. Are we done now?" he escaped her grip and grabbed his jacket before she could protest.

"Ok then, well we'll just talk about you."

Reid felt himself tense. He clearly wasn't as good as hiding his feeling as he had once been.

"Ok," he sat on the arm of the sofa and stiffened as he spoke, "so how exactly did you and Doogie 'get it on'?" He physically shuddered and curled his lip in disgust.

"You're impossible." Katie climbed off the sofa and headed to the fridge.

"You know, that's what my mother used to say." He retorted with his usual sarcasm.

"I pity the woman."

"Touche." Reid smiled a little and noticed Katie's frown had dissolved slightly. Feeling triumphant, he raised his eyebrows and she shook her head, her smile growing.

"You know when I say I hate you, I actually do mean it you know?"

"I know, I know. It's nice to see you too."

"You're leaving already?" she asked as Reid shrugged his jacket over his shoulders.

"Yea, Bob said he wanted to see me the second I was back and he's on night duty so the hospital will be free of interns and annoying day patients so it's pretty perfect. I'll see you later, ok?"

"Ok. I'll leave you some food out, if you'd like?"

It took Reid two steps to kiss her cheeky quickly and grab her bottle of water from her hand. With a wink he turned and headed for the door.

"It's alright, I'll make a sandwich when I get home."

As the door closed, Reid chuckled as he was sure he heard Katie shout "_Don't you dare make a mess_!"


	4. Chapter 4

Luke could feel the starch of the sheets against his flushed skin. Every movement made him feel bruised. His eyes were damp and his back stiff. He almost cried but he knew that he wouldn't stop. He lay with his arms wrapped around his middle ... not realising he was holding himself together.

Sharp and glaring memories flooded his brain as he lay motionless. The figures had stopped poking and prodding and he was now alone, alone with his own thoughts and he suddenly couldn't stand it.

He pictured Noah in his mind and wondered how he could have been so stupid to believe they were friends and had worked everything out. He remembered the pain in Noah's eyes, the crease of Noah's brow as he tried to hold back tears and the fact he sat with his fists clenched the entirety of their conversation the night he punched Reid. Reid... the flickers of pain behind his brilliant eyes. Luke drew the image in his mind and stumbled over certain details. He questioned the knowing smirks and the reassuring glances as Reid folded his clothes all of those weeks ago. Luke's mind, aching and heavy, now felt strangely airy and clear. He'd had it all wrong. He's spent too long retelling these stories and pretending he had been clever enough to tidy his own messes when all along he was blind to the truth, numb to the reality he'd caused. Reid was truthful and honest, Noah was warm and kind. Both had flaws but both made Luke more of a person than he was alone. Luke fought to find a definition for himself- he failed. He pulled his arms around himself tighter and forced the moisture out of his eyes. He fell quickly and heavily into an uncomfortable slumber.

...

Reid felt something new as he walked into Memorial's dusky light. He struggled to put a pin in a strange feeling that kept washing over him. _Just find Bob, make nice and get out of here_, he told himself. He smiled tightly at the porter at the door and made his way up to the on-call room.

As he climbed the stairs he caught himself off guard as he remembered the many conversations he and Luke had shared while scaling these same steps going to and from board meetings. His throat tightened somewhat at this thought. Their chats were meaningless to eavesdroppers maybe, but the words unsaid and the meaning behind those that were, told a different story. Reid had never spoken in subtext before but it was the language he and Luke had perfected and something he missed- painfully so. Reid knew who he was, he knew that he was difficult to get along with, difficult to understand at times and definitely difficult to care for. He had made peace with this a long time ago and he sighed as he reached the top step knowing that all it took to question everything he'd accepted as written, was some whiney spoiled rich kid dragging his ass to a monumental dump like Oakhell. _As if this town-that-time-forgot could be his home._ He could hardly believe that he was admitting this to himself but as he shook his head in an attempt to clear Luke from his thoughts, Reid knew that the strange feeling he had was some form of idiotic contentment and familiarity.

"Well hello there Doctor Oliver, and to what do we owe this great pleasure?"

Reid turned to find Bob Hughes, looking a little tired, but as professional and sturdy as ever. As much as he fought with himself to deny it, Bob was someone he really and truly respected. It didn't stop him finding his cookie cutter ways hideously annoying and nor did it stop him from telling Bob this fact on a daily basis.

"Well, you know Bob, just can't keep me away."

"A month you've been gone and still no improvement in your manner. Doctor Oliver, one of these days..."

"One of these days what Bob? I'm telling you now, you're fighting a losing battle old man."

Bob laughed and nodded his head. No matter what Reid dished out, Bob took it and took it well.

"How was the conference?" Reid knew it was time to cut the snark and just talk. He strangely had less willpower around his Chief of Staff.

"I got something out of it but not much, I could have out performed half of the brain dead morons preaching at that thing."

Bob rolled his eyes.

"So I take it we're not losing you to the windy city then?"

"Unfortunately no. Looks like I'll be suffering this place a little longer." Reid smirked, showing his appreciation for Bob's interest. Reid felt himself soften again. _First Katie, now Bob... what the hell was it with this place?_

"Well, that's very good news as I was about to ask a rather great favour."

"If you're adding more interns to my ever growing list then you already know my answer. Not even if you paid me double."

"I was talking about working a shift tonight. It's late and I fear Kim does not take lightly to my extra shifts nowadays"

Reid didn't even need to consider it. He had been itching to get back into his scrubs and get his hands dirty. Anything to take his mind off Luke and the things he was pushing to the very back of his brilliant mind.

"Give me ten minutes to change and I'll catch up."

"Excellent."

As Reid turned to enter the on-call room, Bob said something he was sure, in a strange way, he'd remember for a long time.

"Good to have you back, Reid."

Reid turned and offered a nod in Bob's direction, his face flushing a little as he recognised the sincerity with which he delivered it.

...

Luke gasped himself awake and clung to the sheets that were twisted around him. He was more alert now but this only sought to focus his mind on the pain. It took him minutes, and even a couple of those, to appreciate his surroundings. He could feel the heat radiating from his skin and wanted out. He clawed desperately at the material tying him down. His breathing was unsteady and he felt stifled. The more he thought about breathing, the more he panicked and the more he panicked, the worse the pain got. In seconds he found it difficult to focus and his laboured breaths made his eyes bulge and his neck strain. He fumbled for the chord that he knew should be dangling and as he blindly located it, he jammed the button hard just in time. Now sitting up in an awkward position, he fought with the sheets around his legs once more. He wanted to run and escape. He felt trapped and constricted. He struggled to breathe and couldn't move, every possible breath was quick and horrible. His head reeled and he wanted to cry. He needed to get out. His eyes now tightly shut, Luke doubled up in pain as every agonizing spasm tore holes in his consciousness. He felt himself drifting again, he was disappearing and falling ...

A hand, strong yet gentle, prised his fingers from around the sheets and caught hold of both arms. Luke couldn't focus. He wasn't in the room anymore and he tried to speak. He wanted to explain how bad he felt and wanted to ask for help. He felt himself being lowered slowly onto a now raised pillow. His legs were free. He calmed a little, still hovering somewhere above the bed. He felt a hand reach to brush the tangled hair from his forehead and the same careful hand place a cool cloth on his neck. Luke shivered and must have made a noise of discomfort as the cloth was quickly removed and instead he soon felt a cool breeze drift over his body. Luke didn't know how long he lay there but he felt at ease and slowly began to come together and focus on the darkness.

...

Reid's back hit the closed door and he dragged his hand over his face. _Fuck._

He took deep breaths to calm his breathing and to steady his shaking hands. _Get a grip_, he told himself, over and over again. He had cut into brains of small children and watched mothers weep in his arms, he'd witnessed blood spill out from places he couldn't locate and experienced the fear and panic of saving a life. He could separate himself. He wasn't Reid Oliver in those moments, he was Doctor Oliver the neurosurgeon. That worked. Right now, Reid didn't know who he was.

He tried to shut the panic off and failed. It had controlled him and as he turned to look through the glass, he felt as his heart quickened and his skin tingled with fear and the need to reach out. Being behind this glass, he felt powerless. After so many months, he finally knew what Luke meant. It truly was awful to feel this way.

Reid Oliver won out as he creaked open the door and positioned himself by Luke's side. The young blonde shuffled under the single sheet Reid had tentatively covered him with. His temperature now regulated, and his breathing a lot steadier, Luke looked almost peaceful. Reid felt an overwhelming sense of satisfaction and he knew it didn't stem from his clinical duties- he had never wanted anything more than to comfort Luke. Nothing about it came from any form of duty.

Luke shuddered and ducked his chin under the sheet. Reid smiled slightly, recognising his temperature dropping more. He flicked the fan that he'd dragged from the on-call room onto a lower setting and gently tucked Luke's exposed arm under the bed clothes. His fingers twitched to stroke his messy hair but he fought against himself.

He watched as Luke sighed and snuggled his head further into the replacement pillow he had provided. Feeling a more acceptable sense of satisfaction that Luke was ok, he turned to leave, knowing he'd be back within ten minutes, when he was forced to turn back.

Luke was stirring and mumbling and Reid's breath caught as he questioned how successful he'd been at lowering Luke's fevered temperature. As he frowned to focus on Luke's sounds, he lowered himself into the chair once more.

"Hey... shhh." He shocked himself at the comforting tone he was able to make, noticing how easy and natural it felt to reach out to touch Luke's cheek. He'd done it a few times before, usually in moments of tension when he couldn't stand to hold back anymore. In this moment, this simple connection was enough to reset everything he'd convinced himself to feel in his month in Chicago.

He was quickly snapped out of his hazy thoughts as Luke shuffled once then took in a sharp and clearly painful breath. He sat up abruptly and reached out to grasp the sheets infront of him. His eyes snapped shut and fear tightened his face. Luke groaned and leaned forward.

"Luke...Luke...look at me."

Reid, within milliseconds, had positioned himself infront of Luke, sitting on the bed, breaking every rule in the doctor's handbook. Luke's eyes were heavy but they reacted instantly, now wide and filling with tears. Reid reminded himself to breath and reached out, ignoring Luke's realisation. He had to keep going. Luke watched as Reid unclasped his hands from the bed covers and straightened them back out noticing a slight shake to the doctor's fingers.

Luke, without thinking, reached for Reid's hand and stopped himself. Still no words were spoken between them as Reid let his eyes fix on Luke's. Both sat motionless for an indefinite time before Reid couldn't stand it any longer.

"You are such an idiot."

Luke frantically reached up and wrapped his arms around Reid's neck, pulling himself off the bed and moulding to every contour of the man in front of him. Reid could feel the heat from Luke's skin against him through Luke's thin t-shirt. He sat rigid for a second before sighing into the embrace and closing his eyes. He had no boundaries now, nor did he want any in this moment. As his hand reached to stroke Luke's unruly hair, he felt Luke's shaking lips move against his shoulder.

"Thank you."


	5. Chapter 5

Luke's eyes stung a little as he prised them open. Yellow sunlight hit his face. He blinked a few times to adjust himself to the light and took in his surroundings. His arm was the first thing to catch his attention and upon glancing down he panicked a little when he noticed the needle attached to a tube. There was no pain, just discomfort. Shutting his eyes tightly, he sighed into the pillow.

He couldn't remember very much and the most glaring moments of clarity were that of the pain but despite still being alone, he felt comforted. His muscles ached and he decided against moving but instead surveyed the room around him. His jeans were neatly folded on the chair in the corner of the room accompanied by his mobile phone, wallet and keys. A small fan blew oscillating cool air across his bed and beside him, a jug of ice chips and a plastic mug were positioned perfectly alongside a small pile of cloths. One thing he couldn't help but appreciate was the neatness of everything. His brain, a jumbled mess, could only recall the chaos. Now he couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of order and peace. He felt rested.

In an instant, the door to Luke's room was flung open and noise and disorder disrupted his thoughts.

"Luke! Oh baby I was so worried!"

Lily, looking uncharacteristically dishevelled, rushed to her son's side, smoothing the hair from his face. Luke felt small and child-like.

"Mum...?"

"Oh sweetheart don't you ever scare me like that again. You hear me?"

As she spoke, her eyes wide with worry, she fussed with his blankets and stroked his cheek. Luke's eyes filled with tears.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't, I mean..." he tried to speak but his throat felt spikey and raw. Lily reached for the ice chips, disorganising the perfectly placed objects, and gently poured some cold water for her son.

"Luke, you have nothing to be sorry for. Here sweetie, drink this." Lily whispered, her breath tickling his cheek as she offered him the mug.

Luke struggled to sit up but in a second Lily's arm had supported his back and she sat next to him watching him take small sips with pride.

"Do you remember what happened sweetie?" she started, replacing the mug randomly on the shelf by his bed. Luke wanted to move it, he wanted to reclaim that peace and order but had no idea why.

"No. I just felt ill and I hadn't been feeling too good for a few days but then last night I was reading at home and it just got worse. I didn't want to worry you so-"

He didn't get the chance to finish his explanation. Lily's hug suffocated him but he let his head nuzzle into her auburn hair anyway and enjoyed the closeness. It was something he wanted so badly.

Behind her, the door to the room opened and he struggled to make sense of the image beyond the curtain of curls covering his face.

The figure gave short cough. Luke couldn't move. His heart hammered in his chest and his skin tingled. He caught his breath as Lily straightened up, revealing the mysterious figure.

"Doctor Oliver! Oh I can't thank you enough for what you did for my son." Lily gushed, standing to one side so as to not get in the way. Reid's eyes flickered this way and that, attempting to avoid Luke's gaze. Luke felt himself shaking a little with shock and felt embarrassed knowing his cheeks had turned pink. He forced his arms down into the mattress, in order to pull himself up, but his energy levels failed him and he fell awkwardly, narrowly missing the tube in his arm.

"Oh Luke!" Lily started, but instead of Lily's arm being the one to support him, he felt Reid's hand on his shoulder lifting him upright and as he lowered Luke back onto the pillow, their eyes met for the first time. Luke was sure time had stopped, he was sure he was dreaming or still hallucinating. Reid's blue eyes shone down at him and it was all Luke could do to stop himself reaching out.

"Mr Snyder, move like that anymore and I'll be forced to strap you down."

Luke couldn't resist himself and after months without any kind of banter, he replied "Well that's just kinky Doctor Oliver."

He heard his mother gasp and mutter something of an apology about Luke probably being high on drugs. Reid wasn't listening, he didn't care about anything else right now. Luke watched as, in Reid's mock distraction, a quick flicker of a smirk crossed his face. Luke felt triumphant and bit his lip. Reid reached for the mug off the shelf and tipped the water down the sink in the corner, he straightened the cloths and wires by Luke's bed and turned to reach for Luke's chart.

Luke could feel himself smile. He understood now, he felt that peace drifting back. Lily kept a careful eye on all of this and a small wrinkle of confusion formed on her brow.

"So Doctor Oliver, is he going to be ok?" Lily asked.

Reid lifted his gaze from the chart, avoiding Luke's stare and nodded once.

"We need to run a serum creatinine test and an ultra-sound today and take some more bloods but so far so good Miss Walsh. The anti bitotics will help and we'll keep him on a steady course. We should start seeing even more of an improvement over the coming day," Luke watched in awe as Reid executed his duties perfectly, reassuringly, professionally and then as Reid's intense gaze fell on him, he felt his breath catch, "that is all dependent on Mr Snyder staying still and resting."

Reid raised his eyebrows pointedly, his gaze unwavering. Luke felt himself squirm and he only wanted to crawl over to the gorgeous doctor infront of him and...

"Mr Snyder?"

"Y-yes?" Luke stammered feeling the heat on his cheeks and realising his daydream had almost gone public. Reid wasn't stupid and it was written all over his face.

"I was just explaining that I will go over the details of your condition once you have rested somemore."

"Oh, ok." Luke stammered again feeling awkward and sideways glancing at Lily who could clearly feel the tension.

Reid dragged his steady gaze away and turned to leave. He opened the door to let Lily leave. She turned to stroke Luke's hair one more time and as she passed Reid, shot him a look of mild annoyance. Reid turned his back to leave. Luke wanted to say 'no', to reach out and ask them to stay but he thought better.

As the door began to close, Luke's heart sank. He felt overwhelmed and giddy, stupid and afraid. He needed time to understand everything. He wanted someone to sit and explain, someone to talk to, someone to put their arms around him, someone to make everything make sense. It happened quickly but the door creaked again and Luke peered from under his eyelids.

"Oh and Mr Snyder...?"

Luke didn't know how he composed himself. He felt as if he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't be didn't know what. He rushed his answer, blinking rapidly.

"Yes?"

Reid smile was small but it was real and honest.

"You're welcome."

Luke couldn't breathe as memories awoke in his mind. He could see the sparkle in Reid's eyes and he felt like he was drowning and he never wanted to move. He wanted him closer, he wanted him to stay. Luke knew he was being selfish and corrected himself just as Reid eased the door closed.


	6. Chapter 6

**This Chapter's a bit short but I thought it was necessary to suggest somethings before the story progresses and also it's kind of a cut thought :D**  
**Please take the medical stuff with a pinch of salt- it is as acurate and true as I could make it as I am CLUELESS ;) **  
**A longer chapter will be posted soon! Thank you for your kind comments so far! :) Please enjoy!**

Luke was getting antsy. Doctor Hughes had talked him through his condition and explained just exactly what Pylonephritis was. Luke was scared. Only having one kidney was terrifying enough never mind being told it was in danger from infection too. Bob had reassured Luke vehemently, insisting he was in good hands. Luke didn't need to be told this. He knew he was, although he couldn't shake the constant disappointment when it was Bob who entered his room and not Reid. Luke hadn't seen Reid since his mom had visited and now, two days down the line, Luke couldn't put it down to shift scheduling or anything else trivial. Reid was avoiding him and Luke didn't blame him at all.

Luke's fever was suppressed and the anti-biotics were working, he could feel that, but it was tentative and Luke could feel that too. Nothing was certain yet and he knew that he should get used to the inside of Memorial for a little longer.

He napped a lot. Unsure whether it was due to the heavy drugs he was being fed daily or whether it was the heat radiating from the half open window or even if it was the fact that he felt he hadn't properly slept in months ... Luke was tired. His room, always flurrying with visitors and mainly left in a state of utter disarray, usually from Ethan's colouring books or Natalie's teddies she brough Luke to sleep with and especially because of Emma's many tubs of food and bags of cookies. Luke would feel his eyelids droop and with one last surveyance of the chaos of his room, would fall asleep missing his guests and wishing they'd return. He always awoke and to his surprise would encounter order and tidiness. Ethan's pictures were pinned over his bed and Natalie's teddies arranged on he chair in the corner of his room. Luke didn't know why but this soothed him more than he could explain. Someone obviously cared and recognised the significance of such home comforts to his recovery...

...

"Doctor Oliver?"

Reid nearly jumped at his name.

Startled, he turned to find Bob Hughes taking a seat in the on-call room. Reid was changed into full scrubs and was taking ten minutes before checking his latest patient- suspected lesion on the brain.

"Doctor Hughes, good morning."

"By the state of you, you wouldn't tell it was morning. When was the last time you had a decent night's sleep Reid?" Dr Hughes urged, his fatherly tone ever present.

"Bob, I'm fine," Reid replied, raking a hand through his auburn hair.

"You know, I've been a doctor here for many many years-"

"Since the stone age, yes you remind me daily... look, Bob if we're going to have one of your sermons about family, love and general mushy stuff, you're going to have to start warning me so I can avoid coming in here."

Bob smiled, persevering. He recognised a quality in Reid, something he strangely associated with himself a long time ago.

"If you would let me finish, Doctor Oliver, I assure you it'll be short," Bob's words blocked Reid from moving, the young doctor now forced to obey. Reid rolled his eyes, he couldn't argue and in a way he enjoyed their daily push and pull.

"Go on," Reid said, waving a hand and sitting down.

"As I was saying, I've been a doctor for many years and have learned a thing or two about human nature and affairs of the heart," Reid openly groaned, causing Bob to raise his eyebrows in a mock scold before continuing, "you have been sleeping here. I know this as I found your blanket here this morning. You've also swapped some patients over. We agreed you'd take on a few other specialist cases outside of your remit of neurosurgery and th work you have done so far has been outstanding but I am curious as to why I am suddenly in charge of the care of Mr Snyder."

Reid squirmed and it didn't go unnoticed by Bob.

"I know you and I know how excruciating it would be for you if this conversation was to progress further but listen when I say this... it is not a weakness to care and act above and beyond. I have been there and done exactly as you are doing now but you must take care of yourself Reid. Go home and sleep, eat and spend time doing things you enjoy. You have my word that I will oversee your work here."

Reid, now uncharacteristically quiet, stared at his hands in his lap. This guy was good. He was more than good, Bob was reading him like an open book.

"Bob, I don't do days off," Reid eventually replied, looking at the older doctor square in his eye.

"This I know, Doctor Oliver, but do you doubt my word when I tell you that I will take care of your patients when you're gone?"

"No, of course I don't. I just would-"

"Doctor Oliver. Go home."

Bob was adamant and Reid knew it. He didn't have a chance in hell of changing his mind and so, with a sigh, returned to his locker, grabbed his keys, wallet and jacket and turned back towards Doctor Hughes.

Bob, watching every move, let a small smile paint his lips. As Reid reached the door, he turned and went as if to speak, stopped himself and then found the courage to continue.

"He needs another round of anti-biotics. I'm not happy with their progress so far,the fever isn't responding the way it should. He isn't to have any visitors tonight while they take effect and needs complete rest. Once the course is run, he needs another filter test and then regular checks through the night."

Reid's eyes couldn't meet Bob's. He stared at the door handle. As he gradually raised his head to look into Doctor Hughes' face, he saw only complete understanding and found his answer and reassurance in a few slow nods.


	7. Chapter 7

**Authors Notes:**  
_**I know I'm keeping you hanging for Luke and Reid interaction but I wanted some growth there and some development before I put them together and the next chapter is entirely Luke and Reid and a little cameo from another character :)**_  
_**I adore Holden so much so I really hope I wrote him ok! There's yet more Katie and Reid, because I can hardly resist!**_  
_**It's a LOT longer and the next chapter is much the same so I really hope you enjoy!**_

_**Thank you for your lovely lovely comments so far!**_

Reid threw his jacket on the sofa and then threw himself down too. How could Bob see right through him? His entire life was spent perfecting the mask he showed to the world and underneath his true feelings stayed hidden and secret. If nothing penetrated this mask, nothing hurt or nothing became messy and complicated. He couldn't deal with that. The very thought of a tangled mess of emotions, feelings and "heart to hearts" made his head reel and his skin itch. He wanted blunt honesty and clear lines but not everyone shared this wish. Most other people either relished in their own untidy lives and enjoyed the chaos or didn't know any better. Being in Oakhell for as long as he had only made him sure this town was rife with shambolic set ups and families in utter disfunction, plus everyone spoke their hearts and minds- those that didn't were outed eventually. Reid clawed at his hair and threw his head back on the couch.

Luke was an exception to this general rule in some ways. His heart was on his sleeve, his grin spoke a thousands words and he openly shared himself with people- sickeningly so. The Snyders were schmaltzy at the best of times, and Reid was beginning to learn this, but beneath their cuddly and cookie-cutter exterior was buried a world of pain, confusion and a past, Reid expected, they'd all like to forget. Reid was sure that Luke had experienced his fair share of drama but he had never been privy to the details, therefore, Reid could see Luke for his true self, minus the baggage. Luke was innocent, a fact Reid could never stop reminding himself; Luke was young, something Reid, although he'd never tell anyone, secretly found insanely sexy; Luke was spirited, Reid knew this more than most- this was the reason he was in this damned predicament. Above all, Luke was infuriating. He had a way of drawing you in, making you smile, giving as good as he got and generally being completely fucking charming and cute. Reid had been with guys and liked a couple enough to want them to stick around a while longer but none, none, had gotten so under his skin as Luke Snyder. Reid felt like punching the sofa. He couldn't stand the way the kid made him feel. As if Reid Oliver, Doctor Reid Oliver, was becoming unhinged.

The month spent in Chicago was a blessing. Yea, that's what he told himself. Reid knew it was for the best. Some head space outside of the suffocation of Oakhell- exactly what he needed. After the Luke and Noah saga continued and Reid felt himself losing IQ points, dignity and even a smidgen of resolve, he needed out. Noah was a sweet guy, he'd admit it, but Reid didn't buy into drama and was certainly not going to play the bad guy or take the role of the home wrecker. Noah was cherished, adored and god damned worshipped by the Snyder clan, screw even attempting to nuzzle in on that. The thought of the wrath of Lily was enough to make Reid tired and irritated.

He just couldn't stay away though. Luke. He was in his brain, in his thoughts, in his mind, in his memories and if the past week had hammered anything into his skull, Luke Snyder was in his damn heart and there was nothing, not even a world renowned neurosurgeon, could do to change that.

"Reid! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

Katie appeared, looking slightly panic stricken, in the lamp lit door way clutching a blanket and a small pair of booties. Her hair was scrunched messily. She looked adorable. Katie had a place in his heart, this he could admit... even happily some days.

"Oh right, sorry."

"Reid you're lying on the sofa with the lights off. Stop being creepy," she complained with an amused shake of the head.

Reid watched as she headed to the kitchen and began preparing drinks as if it was a knee-jerk reaction. People in this town had something major for stuff like this. Not opposed to Katie's cosiness at this very moment in time, Reid wasn't going to squirm and disappear into his room. If he was honest, he wanted some human contact- other than patients and the other half assed doctors that roamed Memorial's corridors.

"Sorry. It's been a long day," Reid explained, stretching out further on the couch.

"A bad day or just a long day?" Katie asked with a glance over her shoulder as she stirred the steaming cups.

"A bit of both."

"Is that all I'm getting?" Katie asked, her brow inquisitive as she settled herself down by Reid's side and passed him the mug. She really did know how to care in the subtlest ways.

"Bob told me to leave." With a small shrug, Reid leaned into his cup and blew.

"He asked you to leave? I thought you and Bob got on well? He's one of the only other people in this town, except me, who seems to get you and your ways," she winked as she spoke.

Reid laughed a little. "He told me I was tired and needed to sleep, eat and do something I enjoy."

"Well, you do sleep, I hear your snoring. As for the eating, I'm not even going to talk about that. I agree with him about the enjoying yourself part though," Katie smiled as she spoke, the affection very present in her voice.

Reid glanced at her before burying his head back in his mug.

"Katie, I don't have time for stuff like that."

"What? Enjoying yourself? Reid, come on, everyone needs to let loose once in a while."

"What? Like you?" Reid accused with raised eyebrows, "you haven't let loose in the whole time I've known you."

"Reid, I'm a single mother with a job. I don't have time for a life," she stated, her answer rehearsed.

"You use that excuse every single time. Get a new one Katie or actually answer honestly," Reid couldn't stand bullshit at the best of times but he felt at ease with Katie and she was hiding herself- this kind of bullshit was worse.

"Ok, I know," she sighed, "I just can't find a balance and I'm struggling but I'm trying. That's more than can be said for you."

Reid shuffled uncomfortably, taking a sip. He didn't want to go any further but knew, like a dog with a bone, Katie would push it. Honesty was great but not the stuff he knew she'd want to discuss.

"What do you expect me to do Katie, take the day off from patients who need me to go frolicking in fields or take up pottery lessons or whatever you people do? That's not me."

Katie shook her head with an exasperated sigh.

"I'm not talking about pottery classes, genius, I'm talking about having a life outside of your work. Friends, you know, that sort of thing."

Reid was indignant. His deadpan expression was resolute and unwavering.

"You're my friend. Hell, I think even the kid might like me if he could speak. Bob's not too bad and Hank, we all know he's my very best friend...and there's-"

"Luke?"

Reid tensed. This was the place he knew she'd go.

"I'm not talking about that," Reid stated coldly. His knuckles tensed around the mug and he let the heat burn his hands.

"No, of course not, you keep it all to yourself and bottle it up. I have no idea how you do it," she replied softly, in the hope it'd soften Reid too.

"Just because I don't spill my guts like all you people, I'm some kind of robot, right?"

"No, Reid. You just offer nothing in return. I get it, you're driven and serious and your work is important, very important, to you but you use it. You use it as some sort of excuse, some sort of mask to hide your loneliness," Reid winced a little and shook his head but Katie went on, "you feel and you feel a lot, I know you do. I've seen you with Jacob, I've seen you with patients, I see you on a daily basis and I've also seen you with Luke. You don't think I haven't realised you haven't been sleeping here while he's been in hospital? I'm not crazy Reid. One of these days you're going to have to let someone in."

"Like you are? Maybe you need to practice what you preach, Katie."

She narrowed her eyes, her voice lower now, "We're not talking about me. Stop changing the subject."

Reid needed to get out now. Not even the heaven in a cup he was holding was enough to get him through this conversation. He'd hit his boundary and wanted out. Silence reigned for a while as Katie watched Reid sip his drink. They didn't look at the other for a while as Reid felt his irritation bubble and his heart hurt. His inner struggle ever present.

"I've given his case to Bob," Reid finally broke the silence in a small but definite voice.

Katie let her eyes fall on Reid's face. She could see how much he wanted to speak and that he wanted to give so much more. In that moment she felt an overwhelming fondness for her roommate and simply wanted to reach out to comfort him.

"Awww Reid, you need to talk to him. I went to visit him yesterday."

Reid looked up at Katie, a tiny gesture she knew to mean he wanted her to go on.

"He's so confused and lost right now. We only spoke about his recovery and we shared some of Emma's cookies but I could tell he wanted more from me. I'm his link to you and he knows it. He never once asked about you-" Reid laughed, sharp and cold but Katie ignored it, "buuuttt I could tell he wanted to. While you were in Chicago he really did try hard to sort things out with Noah. I saw them together one day when-"

"Katie seriously. This is not helping," Reid protested, going to put his mug down on the coffee table. Katie reached out to stop him.

"Stop being a baby. I'm not finished," she explained as Reid settled back into the couch with a sigh, "I saw them together and they had sorted their differences. I don't think it was easy and I certainly don't think they'll ever stop caring for one another but that's natural. Luke really tried. I don't think he gives himself anywhere near enough credit for how he handled the situation. Yes it got complicated but-"

"Honestly is not complicated Katie." She laughed at this.

"You have no idea do you? Honesty is what makes it complicated. You gave it to Luke straight and you terrified him."

Reid looked at her and didn't speak. He hadn't thought of that. Small images and snippets of conversation flooded back from the corners of his mind and slotted together. Maybe he had been too blinkered to the situation. Luke loved Noah, christ he knew this more than most and the very name elicited a feeling of irriation but Luke also explained time and time again that they weren't together. As if Katie was reading his mind, she spoke again.

"You know, I don't think I'll ever get over Brad. I'll never ever forget him. I'll never stop loving him. I'll never let go of what we had and I don't think that's a bad thing. I'm learning to feel again and I'm learning to process what happened and it's difficult but it was all I knew, all I felt and he was my whole life ... you can't just shut off feelings. No matter how easy you make it look."

Reid closed his eyes and let his head drop to the back of the sofa. She was so right. Luke had only known what he had with Noah. Noah was it for him, they'd had years to learn and grow from each other and somehow they'd grown apart but that didn't mean they suddenly shared no feelings. He could see this now. He'd waded in and presented Luke with a choice and a blunt offering of feelings at a time when Luke's emotions were raw and his head a jumble. Yes, Luke could have been a bit more forthcoming but Katie's words rang true ... Luke was trying. Stumbling and making mistakes but he was trying, after all he was only human. Reid just had some catching up to do.

He looked at Katie as she smiled, warm and caring.

"You know what I'm going to say don't you?" he asked.

"You hate me?"

"Got it in one." For the first time that day he smiled and really meant it.

...

"Mum...pleeaaassseee," Luke pleaded, his head pulsing.

"Sweetie, I am looking after you," she scolded in her usual motherly tone as she pulled at the blankets and yanked his sheets. Luke felt raw, the meds made him drowsy and irritable and the pain in his lower back made him cranky. It wasn't a good mixture. He wanted peace and quiet or some nice company to take his mind off just how bad he felt. Not this.

"Mom, that's what nurses are for. Mom!" He'd had enough.

Lily stopped and looked at her son. Her heart ached as she took in his grey sunken eyes and pale skin. He had slight redness on his cheeks but she didn't know if this was due to him regaining colour or because she was fussing. She desisted and sat by his side, wanting only the best for him.

"I'm sorry baby I don't mean to fuss, I just want you to be comfortable," she explained whilst tenderly stroking his hair. Luke sighed and turned his head to face her.

"I know. I just don't want you to worry and get all stressed."

As if the gods realised a voice of reason and rationality was required, the door opened as Holden stepped in holding two coffees.

"Lily, leave the boy alone for two seconds," he complained, his voice laced with understanding and compassion.

Lily smiled and looked down as she took the coffee from Holden's hand.

"Thank you."

Luke watched his parents in this moment and simply enjoyed them being in the same room together. He was glad his dad had returned from his trip with Molly as soon as he could.

"So, the doctor said anything about your progress?" Holden asked, patting Luke's blanketed leg and positioning himself at the foot of the bed.

"No, Bob said he'd be coming in later on to explain the next stages to me though. He's been great and my nurse, Rosie, she's been taking good care of me too. She writes short stories so she's been letting me read them, she even asked me to edit a few."

Holden recognised the spark in Luke's eye and was grateful for its return.

"Good, or else your mom wouldn't sleep, you know?"

Luke smiled knowing that Holden always deflected his concern onto Lily and used her in this way. Holden winked quickly making Luke giggle. He felt five years old but for the purposes of today, he was ok with that.

"I don't understand why Bob's running ragged to try and take care of you too. What happened to Doctor Oliver, I thought he was over seeing your care?"

Luke was visably affected by simply his name and this didn't go unnoticed by his parents. His stomach flipped and that slight blush grew on his cheeks.

Stammering he replied, "Oh, I erm, I think Bob wanted to make sure that, erm, he took charge so Rei-I mean, Doctor Oliver could focus on his surgery commitments."

This seemed to satisfy Lily and Holden but what Luke didn't witness was the small knowing look they shared.

"Right champ," Holden started, raising from the bed and tapping Luke's leg lovingly, "I'm coming back in tomorrow and I'll bring Ethan. You have no idea how many times he asks to come see you, he says he wants to show you his science project."

Luke's smile beamed. He loved his little brother and his visits were definitely a highlight.

"Aww cool, thanks dad. Tell him I can't wait to see it. Would you be able to do something for me please? Could you bring my chess set with you next time you come?"

Lily leaned over and kissed Luke's fevered brow, lingering a little showing her reluctance to leave.

"No problem, of course I will. I'll come tomorrow sweetheart. I hope you feel better, she whispered, her words tickling his cheek. Holden smiled and held the door for her, turning only to wink once more as he left.

Luke sighed contentedly but felt that ever niggling feeling of loss at their departure. His brain littered with thoughts produced one distinct image over and over, only made worse by Lily bringing him up. He thought of the day he kissed Reid, his lips lingering and his hands shaking a little from desire as he reached for Reid's cheek. He'd felt exposed but knew in that moment that Reid wanted him. This was enough, more than enough, and was something he'd craved for a long time. Luke wanted that feeling again. He'd never experienced anything like it and the longing he felt to see him, to hear him, to argue with him, to laugh with him, to touch him ... it was driving him crazy. One good thing stemmed from it and that was the expectation and excitement that any day he may step into his room and give Luke exactly what he was hoping for. He told himself to stop being stupid, Reid was done.

...

Reid had given in and agreed to take a walk in the park with Katie later the next day after they'd picked Jacob up from day care. He had never done things like that before and wasn't sure exactly what was expected of him. He'd explained this to Katie and was laughed at, playfully punched and told that it was easy, you only had to put one foot in front of the other. He'd decided to suck it up and endure it.

He was down for early rounds that morning and as he changed into his scrubs he felt that same pull and yearning he had been desperately trying to ignore. He'd assigned Rosie as Luke's nurse knowing she was sweet, adorable, chatty and creative- Reid didn't care much for her as she made his brain hurt but he knew Luke would take to her like a sister. Knowing she was attentive and actually skilled, compared to most of the inbreds on the payroll, gave Reid the reassurance he needed. Still, he wanted to take control himself.

As he made his way down to the lab to check on a sample he'd submitted, he couldn't stop himself. He stood far enough away to be out of eye-line but close enough to see into Luke's room. He saw Luke sitting up in bed and made out his messy hair and red t-shirt. He could see a smile making his heart jolt. Luke's eyes were wide and shining despite their dark circles and Reid could see his weak posture but saw an inner strength there. All in one glance, Reid could see all of this. Luke could tell his entire life story with just his eyes.

He saw a small child, about 4 years old, bouncing by the bedside holding what appeared to be a toy robot. Luke was reaching to hold it and the child was swatting his hand away. Placing it on the table by Luke's bed, the little boy seemed to be proudly showing it off as he stood defiantly with his hands on his hips. Reid liked arrogance and this little kid was full of it. He found himself smiling widely. He then noticed Holden sitting in the chair in the corner, his head cocked to one side surveying his two boys. Reid wanted to leave then, he felt he was intruding and if he was honest, his breathing was off and his stomach in too many knots to stay. He let swiftly with a pained sigh.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Notes:**

_**I liked writing this chapter as I could see it in my head so clearly. I also adore Ethan and wanted to see Reid being thrown into the deep end :)**_

_**I hope you enjoy and any feedback - good or bad- is always welcomed :D 3**_

Reid felt his day was dragging. His scrubs were irritating him, his shoulders felt tense and he was hungry, seriously hungry. He was on his way to the on-call room when Rosie and her sickly sweet pigtails bound over to him. He held his breath and tried, he really tried to be nice.

"Doctor Oliver? We have a problem in Room 305, the patient appears to be suffering some quite persistent panic attacks and he's been vomiting quite a lot today. His fever's breaking but I'm concerned. I thought it was about time his doctor was fully informed."

Reid clenched his teeth and shoved his hands into his scrub pockets.

"Great, well that's a brilliant plan. Thank you for running it by me first, now you can go and inform his doctor," Reid snapped, hoping this would rid him of anymore prolonged conversation.

"Doctor Hughes has had to take leave Doctor Oliver. He has assigned the case to you and has taken care of the scheduling. His wife was expressing concern over his medical state so he briefed us this morning about his absence."

"Well that's so kind of Doctor Hughes to inform me I'd be taking over his duties while he no doubt takes a little trip to a country club or wherever people in this town go to 'recouperate'," Reid whined. He knew there was nothing much he could do about this turn of events but the fact he was last to know made his blood boil. Of course Reid would take the extra shifts, of course he'd take on new cases he hadn't dealt with before, of course he'd step right up to the plate- I must be a mug, he thought.

"Ok, now you've informed me you can go and do your job. Starting in Room 285, it's pretty disgusting in there." With a swish of his hand he dismissed, the guilt washing over him. He instantly regretted talking to people like that. She seemed to take it on the chin but he knew he let his brain form words and had little or no concern for the consequences. He spoke and his gut reaction led him.

"Oh and Doctor Oliver?" Rosie called from halfway down the corridoor.

"Yes?"

"Room 305... Doctor Hughes left his chart in his room. He specifically asked me to pass on this message to you," she explained, and with that she disappeared further into the hospital.

Great, Reid thought. Now what? He wasn't good at awkward and especially wasn't good at small talk. He shuddered at the thought, still not allowing himself to accept what he was about to do. He took a deep breath and started walking. He let Doctor Oliver take over, leaving Reid Oliver somewhere a few metres behind.

...

"So Miss Johnson said it was the bestest project she'd seen. She liked the music I used too and it made her giggle," Ethan boasted, his face alight with excitement and pride as he regaled Luke with his news from school.

Luke was struggling for breath and the searing pain in his back made him flinch every now and then. He felt pressurised and stressed but was trying so hard to keep going, Ethan was only little and was scared enough by all of the tubes and monitors, so much so that any odd behaviour by Luke was bound to cause him distress. Luke prayed his father would return soon and cursed damn Molly for being so melodramatic. Holden had apoligised and left twenty minutes ago, leaving Ethan in Luke's care. He said he'd return immediately but so far, there was no sign. Luke felt close to breaking point as he struggled to sit up straight and felt his lip quiver as he forced a smile for his baby brother.

...

Reid stood, his hand on the door, and closed his eyes. Why are you being such a god damned baby, jesus what is wrong with you, he thought. He shook himself in mock frustration. Mr Snyder is your patient, do your job, he repeated over and over... a new mantra.

He opened the door and his eyes, before they met Luke's, fell on the little boy he'd seen previously. As he glanced at Luke his head reeled and hands started to sweat. It took him seconds to assess the situation. Autopilot set in.

"Hello there. What's your name?" Reid asked Ethan directly, keeping his eyes off Luke.

"Ethan. Who are you?"

"I'm Doctor Oliver. Nice to meet you," Reid could feel his inner voice screaming in pain at the pleasantries and his hand twitched with how awkward he felt. Babies he could deal with, they didn't talk and were pretty simple creatures, kids... kids were scary.

Ethan stuck his little hand out and Reid saw the pushy manner with which he did it. He had Luke's eyes and to match, Luke's attitude. Reid nearly broke into a smile but thought better. He knew exactly how to react to this little kid now.

Luke, frozen solid, watched nervously and felt utter confusion. He didn't speak, partly because the pain and panic were so bad he'd fall apart if he tried but he gripped tightly onto his sheet and watched Reid interact his baby brother. The nausea overcame him in waves but the look of awe on Ethan's face met with Reid's obvious uncomfortableness distracted him temporarily.

"Ethan? You ever people's bones before?" Reid asked as Ethan's face visably lit up with excitement.

"You mean through their skin? Doesn't that hurt?"

Reid smiled, the little guy was pretty cute. Oh shut up you sap, he scolded internally. A blanket of warmth smothered Luke's skin at this sight. His pain induced tears on the brink of release were threatened more by his confused kind of happiness.

"Yes, through their skin but no it doesn't hurt, we use special machines. Do you want to see?"

"Really? I can see people's bones. Am I allowed?" Ethan asked, looking at Luke. His eyes wide and enthralled. Luke nodded stiffly and forced a smile.

"Of course you can Ethan. Doctor Oliver knows what he's doing," and with this comment Reid allowed himself to look Luke in the eyes. He smiled, a smile that many would miss as it was fleeting and faint, but Luke saw it and knew exactly what it meant.

"Ok. Mr Snyder," Reid started, a half amused smirk on his face when Luke looked up expectantly, "the younger Mr Snyder ... come with me."

Reid gestured to the tall chair on the other side of the room next to the light box. He flicked the switch and secretly enjoyed every one of Ethan's little noises of awe. Reid, always knowing science was his calling, loved passing something on. He didn't realise quite how much until that moment. Ethan was squirming with anticipation and by the time the first x-ray went up, Reid was sure the little guy would combust.

Luke sat so still and watched every movement and listened to every word. Ethan held onto Reid's arm to lift himself higher to the light and the first time he did this, Luke saw Reid's flinch. It was brief but noticeable and when Reid lifted his baby brother up and supported his back, Luke thought he'd burst with happiness. It was the most adorable image he'd ever seen.

"What's this do?" Ethan asked, his chubby little hands grasping for Reid's stethoscope.

"Easy there tiger, this is important and very expensive. Here let me show you," Reid offered, letting Ethan listen to his pulse.

"Oh wowwwww." Luke thought Ethan was going to tip off the stool if he jumped around anymore.

Reid's brain was on overdrive. He needed to see to Luke. A sideways glance at told him that he needed to hurry up. Reid had no idea where Luke's parents had gone, why he was suddenly chief babysitter and how Luke hadn't collapsed but he thought on his feet and formed a plan.

"Ok, Ethan. What I want you to do is count all of the bones you can spot and then once you've done that I want you to get your colouring book and draw me a picture of what you can see. You need to sit very still and concentrate. That's what doctors do. Can you do that?" Reid asked, setting Ethan his task and trying so hard to make it sound fun. Reid and fun weren't words usually associated but Ethan didn't seem to mind. The four year old had found his new best friend.

"What do I get if I do good?" Ethan asked. Reid forced himself to not correct his grammar.

"Well, how about I give you a tour of the hospital later?"

"Yes!" Ethan shouted, with a pleased grin.

As Ethan turned to get to work, Reid pulled the curtain along to shield the young kid and turned to Luke.

The air was thick with tension but neither man was willing to let it affect them, both for different reasons.

"I charge by the hour by the way," Reid stated, his words dripping with sarcasm, as he checked Luke's vitals.

Luke chuckled softly. His skin prickling whenever Reid moved near. He kept his eyes fixed on Reid at all times, hoping they'd be met.

"He likes you," Luke said as Reid pulled back the sheets and took Luke's temperature.

"Yea well, he's a sensible kid." Reid's eyes flickered to Luke's, both full of subtle amusement.

"I can't breathe properly. I keep having these panics. I can't feel my hands and the pain killers don't seem to be working for my back. It's really hard to get comfortable," Luke explained, his eyes strained. Reid's free hand formed a fist in frustration. He hated this. He couldn't stand to be in Luke's room, to see him hurting and to feel so damned incapable. It wasn't as if he was in the OR and Luke was critical or anything but his condition was less than minor. Reid couldn't stand to see Luke in any kind of discomfort. His god damned goofy grin was missing and it wasn't right.

"We're going to sort this today. I need you to work with me ok?"

It took all of Reid's energy to hold back as Luke shuffled uncomfortably and folded forward in pain.

"Ok... I can do that," Luke stuttered, his fists clenched and breathing starting to become irregular. Anyone could see it was the start of a panic attack. Reid couldn't do it anymore. Luke was so damn small and fragile and he wouldn't stand for this. He couldn't.

He reached out and pulled the pillow out, slotting it upright behind Luke's back. He hesitantly reached to touch Luke's hand and felt himself shudder as he did. He unfolded Luke's fingers, supported his head and back and lowered him onto the cushion. Luke's eyes were screwed shut and his face white with fear.

"Luke you need to breathe. Listen to me carefully, as I breathe in you need to follow me. Take it easy," Reid spoke as softly as he could and ignored the fact his hand was lingering protectively on Luke's shoulder.

Luke slowly responded, his limbs shaking through his struggle. As his breathing slowed, Luke jolted and grabbed Reid's hand. His knuckles white and face panicked.

"I can't breathe. My back."

Reid felt a vice around his heart. He couldn't be Doctor Oliver anymore. It was too hard to hold back. As the guards crumbled, Reid responded with the first thing that came into his head.

He sat on the chair next to the bed, still with Luke's hand clasped around his, and ducked his head to meet Luke's eye line.

"Hey, you remember that ridiculous thing you told me in the lift when we got stuck? That stupid pop psychology stuff?"

Reid watched as Luke's taut face flickered and a small awkward smile formed.

"Y-yes," he stammered out between breaths.

"Well, give me a place. Just nothing too, you know, cute... I've just had lunch."

Reid hoped Luke could sense the affection in his words. It seemed he could. Luke sighed out a breathy laugh and Reid was sure he heard a faint "jerk" amongst the gasps.

Reid was nervous. He felt unhinged and on show. In his scrubs he was supposed to be solid and steadfast. Sitting holding Luke's hand, his fingers gently stroking tiny patterns over the skin, Reid was as exposed as he'd ever been. In that moment, he didn't care one bit.

"I-I've got something," Luke said suddenly.

"Ok, hit me with it."

"Well, it's in this bar and there's music ... playing, you know, country music and there's guys in Stetsons and in the centre there's this one guy with kind of reddy browny blonde hair being thrown around on this huge mechanical bull... he's... i don't know, he looks a bit uncomfortable but he's got a self...a self satisfied smile on his face and he's wearing these jeans that reall-"

Reid laughed and looked at this lap, the corners of his mouth refusing to relax.

"Ok, that's enough. It's not red its auburn I'll have you know," he said, a goofy smile of his own forming- his heart leading his head.

Luke's hand was relaxing and his muscles seemed more at ease. He still had his eyes closed but Reid supposed this was to help him concentrate, plus it was easier to not look into Luke's eyes for some reason.

"Sorry, I...I just...it was the first thing that popped into my head," Luke muttered quietly.

"It's fine. Just remember what we agreed, you tell anyone else about that day and I'll forced to kill you. Ok?"

As Reid spoke he was aware that his fingers hadn't stopped tracing the lines of Luke's hand.

"Don't worry. I don't forget a threat like that," Luke mumbled with a slow smile, his eyes still closed. As he spoke, Reid watched as Luke's fingers looped themselves around his own. Reid felt his heart flutter, his brain whispering a reminder to breathe out. He'd never felt anything like this in his life. He cared about his patients, although it was shown by simply getting the job done; but here, in this moment, with Luke clinging to his hand and his words and actions somehow having the effect of calming and soothing, Reid hardly recognised himself.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Notes:**  
_**The next few chapters will continue like this, small snippets into Luke and Reid's week. Things will change after that. I really hope you enjoy! :) **_  
_**Thank you for the frankly awesome feedback- good/bad, it's ALWAYS appreciated :D**_

Bob Hughes had taken a week off, much to Reid's annoyance but he felt very much like a king surveying his kingdom. He didn't realise just how much he missed his freedom to reign in Dallas and felt, as much as he despised himself for it, proud to have the opportunity. Without Luke, plans for the new wing were still underway but Lily Walsh had taken over the helm of the Luke Snyder foundation- Reid knew Luke still had his finger in that pie. He wasn't stupid, he'd seen Luke hide the files when he'd come to check on him.

Things were different it seemed. Luke, after his day of panic attacks, had learned to control them. They weren't directly related to his condition, they were purely psychological but Reid, understanding the brain the way he did, had given Luke plenty of ways to distract himself.

A week had passed since that day and in a strange way, they'd fallen into an odd sort of rhythm. Rosie was a hands on nurse and very much invested in her patients but even she had backed off. Reid was very careful not to show too much and give anything away- he'd avoided the involvement of Alison Stewart for this very reason. She'd been to visit in almost every lunch break and it seemed Luke, at some point, had entertained every member of Oakhell. Reid wondered who he'd find every time he entered Luke's room- Luke was so bloody loved.

Reid had seen a change in Luke, a definite and improved change. Some days he had struggled, yes, but Reid was optimistic and pleased with his patient's progress- he was also internally thankful that he could sleep easier and could rest knowing Luke was comfortable and improving. Some days and moments shone brighter than the others and Reid's heart was so full and jam packed after the former week, he hardly knew himself. He felt so fucking domesticated and he blamed it entirely on Luke, he'd tell him to his face too.

**MONDAY **

Reid sat alone in the on-call room, his feet propped up on the desk and Luke's chart in his hand. He'd seen to his other patients and was now doing the same thing he'd done every hour for the past day or so. He'd remembered Rose's message from Bob, to check Luke's chart and when he had done, was greeted by a small scrawled message towards the bottom of the sheet.

"_There is no weakness in acting above and beyond. It's a human reaction. Allow yourself this, Doctor Oliver_."

Bob Hughes, so god damned schmaltzy it made him sick, but something inside of Reid, at the sight of those letters, changed. He didn't know how much until ten minutes later when the alarm from Luke's room started to beep.

No nurses arrived before he did. He was in Luke's room in seconds.

He frowned at the sight. Luke lay twisted in his sheets and was curled up, his head tucked awkwardly into his chest and his hands doing their usual fisting into the sheets. Reid wondered how many times he'd unfolded Luke's fingers.

As he stepped towards the bed, checking the relevant machines and surveying Luke, it was obvious what the problem was.

"Luke ... Luke... I need you to look at me," he'd asked, slowly and gently.

Luke responded a little, his hands still attempting to tear holes in the sheets.

Reid was struggling with the sheet, attempting to pull it from under Luke and straighten him out. Luke constricted time and time again, small groans at each movement. He had always been defined with a broadish chest and solid shoulders but boyish all the same, Reid could see this still but he'd lost weight, a lot of weight.

"You've never paid any attention to me in the past, so why now? Of course, I know nothing, I'm just your doctor," Reid attempted, and it worked.

"Shhh-shut up," Luke breathed out quickly in between gasps for air.

"Unfortunately, until you chill out and stop tying knots in your sheets, I'm going nowhere." Reid felt himself smile as Luke, with a visible struggle, lay on his side, freeing the sheets below him. Reid reached out to tidy Luke's bed and once he was done, helped lower him softly onto the mattress.

"See, not so hard was it?" Reid asked, his voice lilting and full of as much playfulness as he could muster. He figured Luke could do with a change of tone. Lily was so suffocating and motherly, Holden had been solid and distracting but Reid could only count the times he'd witnessed Luke laugh on one hand, in the past week, and for Mr Eternal Sunshine, this just wasn't right.

Luke's screwed up face relaxed a little with an exhausted laugh.

"I always... always knew your bedside manner sucked... now I've... I've got proof," he stammered out, his eyes flickering open. Reid was around the other side of the bed now, his hand unmistakably on Luke's arm. It wasn't moving anywhere.

"It's either me or Rosie, so take your pick," Reid had offered, the twinkle in his eye.

"Yea well, she's not here is she, so I guess I'm stuck with you," he shot back at Reid, the wrinkles by his eyes straightening a little and his face lightening with the exchange.

"Count yourself damn lucky. You have a world class neurosurgeon turning down your sheets." Reid realised that as they'd been talking, his fingers had taken a life of their own again. This is what he told himself. He drew small and gentle lines on Luke's elbow. He couldn't move his eyes. They simply gazed at each other. Time seemed to stand still and Reid felt drawn, so inexplicably, forward. It was as if Luke's gaze was draining him of every thought, feeling and emotion and Reid felt naked. His head was fuzzy and full. Luke smiled and broke their gaze, now more rested, then looked up under heavy eyelids slowly and cautiously.

"Thank you," he whispered.

Reid felt those words flood his heart and instinctively his hand travelled from Luke's arm, up to his hair where he tucked two strands to once side, freeing his face from distraction.

Luke nuzzled a microscopic amount but Reid felt it. He felt Luke's reaction to the touch and an ache tugged at his chest sending him crazy.

"So you keep saying," Reid eventually replied, not sure how much time had passed since Luke had spoken. He felt lost in his brown eyes, his every thought and concern gone in an instant.

In seconds, the door had opened revealing Rosie and Reid had speedily, but not without a regretful sigh, pulled his hand from Luke and offered him into her care.

Doctor Oliver made a necessary appearance. "Nurse Dawes, Mr Snyder requires more anti-sickness medication and his dosage of painkillers is increasing as of this afternoon. We're taking more bloods and samples today so please see that this is done. Finally, a liver function test has been ordered so I'd like the results in my hand as soon as possible."

Rosie had taken in every word and responded sharply with a smile, noticing Reid's lack of biting sarcasm, "Of course Doctor Oliver. I'll see that it's done."

He didn't know how much she'd seen or how obvious he'd been but something in her eyes spoke of an understanding beyond the words she uttered. He felt ridiculous so with a curt nod and a sharp glance a Luke, whose gaze was unnervingly fixed on his, he left.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Notes:  
****_Much of the same... is more of their week together. Little snippets of relevance ... and hopefully plenty of cuteness :)  
Please enjoy and feedback is appreciated... a LOT! :)_**

**TUESDAY**

Reid had to painfully admit Rosie's competence. She had diligently seen to Luke's care. Reid had glanced in as he passed briefly on his way to surgery, only to find her on a lunch break but positioned by Luke's side with a notebook propped on her lap. Luke was sitting up, now changed into a new t-shirt and looking somewhat rested and perky with a silly smile on his face. Reid felt his heart lighten. On the way to surgery he'd mentally scolded himself numerous times for his lack of emotional distance and his inability to stop feeling like a love sick teenager. His heart paid no attention whatsoever.

He was concerned about Luke's change in skin colour, knowing it was indicative of kidney complaints and Luke's case was significantly more serious than just a 'complaint'. It was this concern that prompted him to return to call in later after a six hour surgery stint concerning a suspected brain tumour- a pretty disturbing case for most but Reid had seen ten to a penny of such cases and had her stitched up and wheeled to ICU in no time.

As he approached Luke's room he found him alone. Knowing it was his lunch break, Reid grabbed his sandwich, lovingly made my Katie the day before (even if it was lacking in mustard and extra meat), and tapped on the door.

He heard Luke's voice but couldn't make out the words. As he entered, Luke beamed at him, Reid's heart started pounding. Damn he's so fucking cute, he thought.

"Um, this is my room not the break room Doctor Oliver," Luke teased with a mock seriousness. He definitely looked more animated and awake.

"Suck it up Mr Snyder, unfortunately for me you're slightly better company than the morons that trot at my heels and call themselves interns, not to mention the god awful gaggle of nurses that screech in the corner ... it's either in there or in here." Reid knew he was being snarky and knew he was playing down his reason for standing in Luke's room clutching his food like a kid with his favourite teddy.

Luke laughed, looked down then back up under his eyelids, a look that made Reid nearly drop his lunchbox. On anyone else that cheeky smile and coy look would have looked absurd but on Luke it was enough to make anyone's knees weak.

"Well, I'm so glad to know that I'm 'slightly better' than them," Luke quoted with a smirk, "you really know how to make someone feel special."

With that, Reid had to laugh. Luke really did fight his own corner- that was something he lov... found actually tolerable.

Reid sank into the chair by the bed and scooted it slightly closer. He noticed Luke, out th corner of his eye, shuffle comfortably. Something inside of him fluttered.

"So, how's the back?" Reid asked seriously, keeping it business as usual.

"Reid, every single person who come in here asks me the same thing. My stupid kidney hurts, I am boiling alive in this bed, it's hard to get comfortable, my head hurts, I feel sick pretty much 24/7 and the drugs I'm taking send me crazy. That god enough for you?" Luke snapped, slightly irritated but in good humour.

"I only asked you about your back," Reid retorted with a cheeky grin as he bit into his sandwich. He was quite impressed with it, Katie was clearly learning.

"That's disgusting," Luke stated, his lip curling and nose wrinkling.

"This, Mr Snyder is a work of genius."

"What is it with you and these things?" Luke was genuinely interested, his fascination with Reid Oliver drove him a little bit insane. He wanted to know everything, to consume his thoughts and felt giddy when he got even a morsel of information.

"I like sandwiches. That's pretty much all there is to say on the matter."

Luke stared at Reid as he ate, the doctor clearly unnerved. Reid frowned a little, unsure as to why it had gone silent. He sighed and put his food back on the tin foil wrapping.

"Ok, if you're insisting on being nosey. My grand mother used to make them for me," Reid admitted, mumbling slightly as his voice trailed. Luke sensed some emotion behind the words and smiled encouragingly, "she used to make it into a game as I was a busy kid, always off to classes or extra classes or my folks would ship me off to learn some new skill. I didn't eat very well and played even less so it was our game."

Reid eyes moisted and Luke didn't miss it. He sighed gently and sunk lower into his pillow, trying to catch Reid's eyes. He was in awe of this brilliant but private man allowing him inside his head. Luke practically swooned whenever Reid allowed him this insight. It felt like a precious gift given only to him. He wondered what he'd done to earn it.

Luke wanted more, he wanted everything. "She sounds amazing," Luke simply said.

Reid felt that niggling suffocation creeping up on him, his inner voice screaming to run but his heart somehow tethered to this bed, to this person, to this moment.

"She died when I was in med school." The words were simple and clear but behind every syllable, Luke sensed a different emotion and a different part of Reid he desperately wanted to understand. Luke's face flushed and he felt sorry for even bringing it up.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean-"

"It's fine Luke, honestly," Reid reassured with an honest smile, "she was pretty spectacular. I guess these things are the one thing I have to remind me of her. Plus, they're damned good."

Luke knew that this wasn't an instance of Reid's guarded nature, it wasn't Reid shutting down or hiding his feelings, this was Reid's strong and honest qualities shining through. The trust between them was something truly indescribable.

Luke, without thinking, reached out and pulled a piece off. "Well if they're so damned good then you won't mind me sharing will you. Hospital food is gross."

Reid laughed, genuine and rhythmic. Luke sighed happily and munched on his contraband snack.

"You need to experience an epic sandwich in its full capacity," Reid said, taking another bite and flicking his bright blue eyes up to Luke.

"Is that an offer for when I get out of here?" Luke asked, suddenly feeling very nervous. He fidgeted slightly, picking at the bed sheet.

Reid, his gaze steady and a slow but confident smirk spreading on his face, answered with surety and amusement, "Definitely."


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Notes:**  
_**Sorry for the delay, life got a bit busy and hectic. A new chapter will be posted on Monday and then very frequently after that :)**_  
_**This chapter is very necessary and allows the rest of the story to unfold :D Please enjoy**_ :)

**WEDNESDAY**

Luke woke early feeling refreshed and strangely rested. He hadn't had a panic attack in a few days and Rosie had explained how the anti-biotics were working to combat the infection. He'd managed to avoid any spikes on his liver function test and his tests were coming back in droves showing his condition was improving.

He hadn't seen Reid since the day before when he disappeared to surgery and left Luke the rest of his so-called 'epic sandwich'. Luke had eaten it, drank some water and nestled under his sheets and only woke when the birds were tweeting and the sun was beginning to shine.

Luke had gone through a pile of books, provided by Rosie and some by Casey, although they were hardly anything to write home about- pretty much shameless violence with the odd smattering of porn. Luke had laughed, tossing them aside.

He'd contented himself all morning with one particular novel, only to peer over it around lunchtime when he noticed a tall dark haired guy through the window. Noah had been to visit a few times, mainly fleeting visits in between classes.

The door opened and Noah smiled.

"Noah!"

"Hey Luke, how are you feeling?" Noah spoke quietly and carefully. Luke wondered if someone had told him to do so.

"I'm feeling great today actually. I had so much sleep and felt really rested so I guess that's a sign I'm getting better. I just want to get out of here," Luke had offered, as Noah sat by his side.

"Well that's good. I came in the other day but you were sleeping. It looked like you had plenty of people to take care of you so I thought I'd come in today instead."

"Yea, the nurses have been amazing, Allison comes in every day to see me and has kept me up-to-date with gossip," Luke added, instigating shared knowing laughs, "and my chief nurse Rosie is incredible. She's a writer and has practically a library of books so I haven't been bored at all," Luke gestured to the now neatened pile of battered books in the corner of the room.

Noah nodded at each word Luke made.

"You've got everyone fussing over you, then?" Noah asked with a genuine smile.

"I guess I'm lucky." Luke knew there was an issue being avoided. Reid was the big fat neon glowing elephant in the room. Luke knew that out of everyone in the hospital, he'd done more and gone above and beyond his duties to ensure Luke got the best care. He had his suspicions about Rosie's appointment too- she wasn't very subtle and had made a few comments that hinted at her deliberate allocation to his case. All of this said, Luke kept the name Reid Oliver far from his thoughts until Noah was out of the room. It wasn't easy.

"I guess you are. When I came by, Doctor Oliver was in here," Luke was sure he'd reacted more than he'd intended at the mention of Reid and was sure Noah had noticed, "and seemed like he had everything in hand. I didn't think the guy did 'caring'," Noah's face twisted at that last phrase. Luke let it slide, he could hardly blame him but the nerves and uncomfortable feelings tangled at his stomach as Noah continued, "so when I saw him pinning crayon drawings above your bed and tidying teddies, it was a bit of a wake-up call."

Luke felt his heart swell and beat faster at the very thought. Luke had always known Reid Oliver had a secret soft heart. Luke felt giddy, his body flooding with comfort and warmth, the same feelings he'd craved like crazy for weeks. The feelings he always wanted and knew he had to give back in abundance. He had them, now, and the person responsible was ... well, Luke had no idea where he was, but he wasn't close by.

"Luke?" Noah lightly tapped Luke's arm. He felt nothing as he glanced down to where Noah's hand had been. It was a moment of clarity. A realisation of so much that Luke's brain felt far too busy to function.

"Noah I'm so sorry." This was what Luke wanted to say. This was exactly what he felt and he didn't hold back. For the first time, he just wanted to be completely and painfully honest.

"Look, Luke, it's ok. I get it. You don't have to explain," Noah didn't look hurt, he just looked tired and, in an odd way, bored. Luke didn't care, he had to say what was on his mind- take a leaf out of Reid's book.

"I do have to explain. Please just listen?" Luke's eyes were wide and open, the windows to his soul, and spoke enough for him but Noah nodded gently and Luke continued, "I know we talked about what happened and sorted some things a long time ago but I want to make sure. I think I've been kidding myself at how I handled the whole situation and I wanted to apoligise. Noah I only knew my life with you in it. Well, that's what it felt like," Luke ran his fingers through his hair, almost nervously, "and I was so scared of accepting that we were over. I had no idea what to do, what to feel and think...god, Noah I was so lost. How do you move on from everything you've ever known? Remember our first Christmas when I told you I never thought I'd find anyone who would be interested, how I thought I'd always be alone? Well, you proved me wrong. I thought you were all I needed, all I would ever need."

Luke's eyes started to fill. He needed this so badly.

"Being in love was the most incredible and indescribable thing to me. My family aren't perfect and when it comes to love and relationships, are far from it but I thought we were going to last forever. I have parents who pride themselves on their sweeping love affair and I was so embarrassed and frightened that I'd never find that," Luke paused and took a breath, it felt like his first for some minutes, "We both knew that when you got your sight back, things would be weird and we'd have to sort through our feelings but Reid ... Reid helped you quicker than anyone could imagine and suddenly you were back and able to see me and live your life again. I know why you pushed me away, we've been through all of this, and we've both accepted our blame but I just want to know that we're ok?"

Noah reached out for Luke's hand. He wanted to speak, to explain that it was and to halt Luke's tirade of confused words and feelings, but nothing he could think to say was enough.

"Luke, you really don't need to do this. I know what I did. I was so screwed up and so angry and just scared. We've talked about this and we've sorted through things Luke, I don't need anymore from you, I don't deserve anymore from you," Luke held tighter to Noah's hand as a hot tear ran down his colourless cheek.

"I don't know the right thing to say. I start to talk and all I can think to say is thank you and I'm sorry. I wouldn't change a second of what we had. Never. I was too happy and too in love to even think straight," Luke was crying now, big heavy tears, "I just wanted you and me forever and then things changed so much. I didn't know how to be anything else and what to do for the best and I still feel so awful and so terrible for the way I behaved. Reid meant something to me and I couldn't deal with that. I hurt you and I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry Noah."

Noah wrapped a strong arm around Luke's neck as Luke's head fell onto his shoulder.

"You have no idea how wrong you are to apologise like this Luke. We both made mistakes, me more than anyone, and I see this now. Please don't feel like this, you don't deserve it Luke," Noah whispered close into Luke's ear feeling every sob as Luke's weary frame slumped against him, "You have a heart so full and so precious and you deserve to be loved and to love. It's one of the reasons people can't help but fall in love with you in the first place and I'm sure Doctor Oli-Reid knows this too."

At this, Luke lifted his head from Noah's shoulder and looked into his eyes. Their time together flashing between them and ending in this moment. Luke felt an unexpected moment of pride. They could both feel it and in a strange and almost poignant way, they both felt relief.

"We don't need to explain anymore do we?" Luke asked.

"There's nothing to explain Luke, we're always going to be friends and I'm always going to love you. Always."

"Same here," Luke said simply with a breathless chuckle. Noah laughed, his eyes sparkling and amused. Luke lifted himself to wrap his arms around Noah's neck, a movement that he should have been used to but one that now felt strangely alien. It truly was over. There was no pain anymore, no confusion and certainly no regrets- they had decided not to allow that. For the first time, both felt a proper and finite resolution. As Luke loosened his grip, he glanced up as a shadow passed the doorway and saw Reid standing outside the door. Luke could see the hurt in his eyes even through the glass.

...

Reid would have run, he would have turned his back on the whole thing if it wasn't for the look in Luke's eyes. He felt a fool in that moment and wondered if he'd ever felt that way before. He could see Luke's tears and the small dark patches on his t-shirt from them no doubt dripping off his chin, he could see Noah's exhausted expression and most plainly, he could see the tightness of Luke's arms around Noah's frame and the desperation in their embrace. Something inside Reid snapped. He felt it so acutely that he didn't know if he could stay upright. Nothing and nobody had made him feel that way before.

Before he could turn on his heels, Luke's eyes fell on his and he was rooted to the spot. He felt his heart race and his inner voice plead with him to look away. Reid couldn't. He would call himself a masochist later but he didn't move and let this new and unusual gut wrenching feeling spread and take over. He was feeling some sort of pathetic heart break for the first time and didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

...

"Noah, Reid's outside," Luke said as he pulled his arms quickly away and settled himself back in the bed. Noah nodded and Luke saw the understanding in his eyes.

"Feel better Luke." This was all he said. It was simple, honest and laced with affection.

Luke only nodded, his eyes catching Noah's then fixing on Reid's. Noah pushed his way out of the door and side stepped around Reid. He offered a sincere nod. Reid's eyes only flickered slightly but there was no anger there, Luke couldn't detect a single emotion in his usually truth-telling eyes. He felt panicked.

As Reid reached out for the closing door, Luke took in his black jumper and jeans. Reid wasn't here as a doctor.

"It's your final creatine test this afternoon. Nurse Dawes should be down to take you. I'll assess the results tomorrow," Reid spoke rigidly and in precise terms. No emotion filled his words and his face wore a mask of solemnity and professionalism, "I wanted to make sure I came to inform you before I felt for the day. Get plenty of rest."

With that, Luke watched as Reid fully intended to leave. He couldn't stand it.

"Stay, please?" Luke almost shouted at Reid's retreating back and as he turned and their eyes locked, as they always did, Luke's fingertips ached to touch, his lips tingled with a desperate need to kiss and his heart hammered in his chest with only one wish- to love.


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Notes:**  
**_Sorry for the delay in posting, life got a bit busy for a while. Updates will come much more rapidly now! I like this chapter and writing it was pretty cathartic! WARNING: There is swearing in this and it's more than once. I don't like mindless swaering but tempers do run a little high in this and I don't hear Luke swearing but I do think Reid would have a bit of a filthy tongue :P_**  
**_I hope you enjoy! Feedback = love :D_**

**THURSDAY**

Reid wanted to stay. Christ, he'd left Katie and the kid in the park and found himself in the hospital standing like a fucking fool. Screw this though, screw the Luke and Noah saga all over again and screw being messed the fuck around.

"If you require any other assistance, please call for a nurse and I shall visit on my rounds tomorrow morning." He tried not to spit out his words but his anger got the better of him. He felt the pang of guilt, mainly for lacking in professionalism.

He turned and left, the door slamming behind him.

Luke felt sick. This wasn't meant to happen, this wasn't the way it was supposed to be, he didn't understand and didn't even want to understand. Luke felt the panic choke him and he struggled with the sheets tangled around his feet. He needed to get out. He needed to put it all right. It wasn't like before and Reid had to know it.

"Reid!" he shouted, as he lifted his legs over the side of the bed, his head swimming and bile rising in his throat. He stumbled forward and unclipped his remaining wires. His arm stung but he didn't care. Nothing mattered except getting out and explaining. Luke clutched the bedside table so hard his knuckles shone white and his arm strained.

"Reid!" he shouted over and over making his throat sore. He hadn't realised how weak he'd become until he felt his words catch.

"Luke, Luke what on earth are you doing?" Rosie cooed, extending an arm immediately as she crashed through the door, "What's all of the shouting about?"

"I – I need you to get Reid... Doctor O-Doctor Oliver, please... he ju- he's down the corridoor. Please would you ...would you get him?" Luke could barely breathe straight and the aftermath of his condition was making itself plainly obvious. He was a mess.

"Ok, Ok, just sit yourself down. You need to calm down. I'll get the Doctor Luke, just don't do this to yourself, you still need rest." Rosie was firm but kind, her hands working skilfully to re-position Luke enough so she could leave.

Luke watched Rosie's retreating back. His head was so heavy, his shoulders so stiff and his head filled so tight with pressure he could barely focus. He needed to put this all right. The thought of Reid leaving and being so convinced his month away had landed him right where they were before he left ... Luke was angry, he was frustrated and he just wanted clarity, he wanted everything to be ok. He just wanted to be damned happy, that was it. The one person he was sure could make him happy had just slammed the door in his face.

"Jesus Luke, what the hell?"

Luke's arm was suddenly red and swollen, his wires hanging limply. He was struggling against the height of the bed and attempting to pull himself up to the pillow.

"You have to stay, please just stay," he repeated as he felt Reid's strong hand on his back.

As Luke settled into his pillow again, he watched with flustered eyes as Reid pulled his black jumper over his head leaving a grey t-shirt underneath. He just stared and kept quiet as Reid got to work re-attaching his wires and straightening the room.

"You look like shit," were the words Reid chose to break the silence. He finally stood at the bottom of Luke's bed. "What the hell are you trying to do, kill yourself? You just ripped the wire out of you arm, you're damn lucky you didn't bleed all over the room. What the hell were you thinking?"

Reid tried to disguise the worry in his voice, he tried to mask his emotions but he was too god damned angry, irritated and sick of the same old crap over and over that he just gave up and let it out. He knew he should be Doctor Oliver and chastise in a clinical manner but he just couldn't- if truth be told, he didn't want to.

"I wanted to explain and you left. I didn't want you to leave and walk away...again."

Reid shook his head and reached for his jumper.

"Luke, I'm not sticking around for this. I came to make sure... I came to see Bob and thought I'd pass by your room." Reid attempted to brush it off, to dismiss his visit as meaningless but he failed miserably. They stared each other out.

"Ok, well then," Luke bit back with a frown, "you can leave then can't you. Like you always do." Luke knew he was out of order, he knew he was being petulant but they seemed to end up in this same position. Luke felt his fear prickle to the surface and knew his anger was an elaborate cover for his true feelings. He had to get Reid to talk.

"That's so fucking unfair Luke."

"Well you do. You always leave and I can't do anything to stop you so today I reverted to trying to chase you down the corridoor but of course that didn't work did it? I'm attached to all of these machines and I can't move without my muscles hurting. My back is in so much pain I can barely breathe and yea, I tried to shout and tried to walk and tried to stand regardless... because of you... because I didn't want you to get the wrong idea. Oh but that makes me unfair. That's fine."

"What do you want? A medal? Luke, you're getting over a major kidney infection in your only remaining kidney, you're flushed with so many antibiotics I wouldn't be surprised if your antibodies went on strike. Not to mention the fact that you're weak and need to take things slow," Reid could feel his face reddening and his fists shaking but he needed to say this and say it all, "but yea, Luke Snyder knows it all. He's so fucking invincible that he can beat medicine, well let me tell you ... you can't."

"You're so self righteous. You aren't listening to me." Luke turned his head to look at anything but Reid. He couldn't stand this. Reid's honesty flew so hard in his face that he could barely stand it. He could only muster the confidence to deflect it, he couldn't match it anymore- he didn't know how.

"I'm listening now. Come on then, this should be good," Reid replied with a harsh edge to every word. He pushed the chair up and sat down stiffly.

"You left and I asked you to stay," Luke said, his voice now suddenly quiet.

"Yea you did but here's a little bit of news for you, not everyone does as you wish."

"I hate when you're like this. You're such a jerk it's unbelievable," Luke barked, his head hurting and his shoulders tight with resentment.

Reid laughed sarcastically, "Like what? Honest?"

"No. I'm used to you being honest but now you're just being cruel."

Reid's face was tight with annoyance, his breathing slow and frustratingly steady as he let out a sharper laugh. "Oh I'm so cruel. I'm so awful and cold and heartless."

Luke was silent. He couldn't stand the look on Reid's face. It looked as if he truly hated him. He would have let tears of frustration spill if it wasn't for the inevitable retort that would follow about being a sap and letting emotions rule. He fought his instincts internally.

Reid continued, "Who the hell do you think has been taking care of you the entire time you've been in here? Who do you think appointed Rosie as your chief nurse? She's so sickening and damned irritating and cute that I knew you'd fall in love with her. Who has been sending you for test upon test to keep a distinct record of every development? Who's been contacting your parents and keeping them informed? Who spent twenty fucking minutes pinning crayon drawings of you and Noah holding hands with the rest of the Synder clan above your bed so you'd see them then you woke up and feel more at home?"

Reid was choking on his words, his anger depleting a little. He felt a dash of self pity then shook it off. Not my style, he thought. He looked up, his face still flushed and eyes almost watering with the tension. Luke was silent and still except for his index finger which drew shakey patterns on his sheet.

"Great time to be quiet," Reid spoke again.

"I don't have anything to say."

"Yes you do," Reid stated, his confidence returning and anger suddenly ebbing away. This was getting them nowhere.

"Ok, I do but I... I can't believe you did all of that for me."

"Who the hell did you think was doing it? The hospital fairies?"

Luke could only shake his head. He felt ashamed and sorry, so so sorry.

Finally after an empty silence, he found his voice and spoke quietly, "It's not Noah. It's... Ethan drew you."

Luke didn't glance up but Reid did. He lifted his gaze to the crayon drawing pinned above Luke's bed and sighed. So flaming stupid. The guy holding Ethan's hand had squiggles of orange and brown hair... the kid had drawn him... and the rest of the Snyders'.

Reid didn't feel an ounce of anger, just tiredness and sadness and oh so many other stupid damned emotions that always made things messy.

"Why would your brother draw a picture of me?"

Luke looked up tentatively. "Because he likes you. He hasn't stopped telling people about his new best friend and your hospital tour and how he got to listen to hearts and look at bones. He has his friends at school convinced you let him chop someone open."

Reid had to laugh then. It was small and slight but it was still a laugh- it didn't go unnoticed by Luke.

"I'm so sorry Reid. I mean it. I just want to explain if you'll let me?" Luke almost pleaded but wasn't desperate or pathetic, just assertive.

"Luke, I swear if you say the words 'love' and 'Noah' in the same sentence I'm out of here."

"No, this isn't about Noah. Well, except to say that the hug you saw... that was the end of everything. Reid, we sorted things out when you left and we've been good. He understands and we can both finally see things for what they were. He came to visit. We talked and we got some realisation. I cried because I was sad, I am sad. Not because I'm still in love with him but because it's a huge part of my life over with and it's terrifying and just so sad how it turned out."

Reid didn't want to speak. For the first time, he had no clever remark or no sarcastic retort. He just listened to the rise and fall of Luke's voice and gave him time to explain.

"I spent the past month so confused and so messed up and I guess it all stemmed from way back, way before I met you. My family aren't the simplest of families," Reid guffawed but Luke just ignore him and carried on, "and I've never really know stable relationships. My family are loving but we make mistakes, a lot of mistakes actually, and I guess I'm not an exception. I thought I was. I thought Noah and I would be together forever and it'd all be perfect but I know now that we won't be and finally, that's ok. I realise the way I treated you was wrong, so so wrong and I am sorry. I just took each day as it came and tried to work it all out but with you so honest and in my face and Noah with so much expectation and clinging onto our past ... I was a mess. I learned a lot and I am still learning. I want to do the right thing and I don't want to hurt anyone."

Reid didn't think he'd been silent for this long in his entire life. He looked at Luke and saw the honesty in his eyes and felt nothing but complete respect and if he was honest, admiration.

"Luke you couldn't hurt anyone if you tried."

"I hurt you."

Reid could have lied, he could have said something sweeter to make Luke feel better but instead he chose the truth, it was faithful and the only thing he truly believed in.

"Yea you did but I'm not whiter than white Luke. I didn't exactly make it easy for you. I only do straight up and candid and just expect people to be able to deal with that. You're so damn caring and your hearts so hopelessly huge that I know you didn't mean to hurt anyone... I mean, I kinda get your lack of decent role models. Christ, bad dad's not even worth mentioning. His list of questionable choices could no doubt fill the dead sea scrolls. Good dad's the saint of Oakdale but even he's got a past- I mean I can hardly blame the guy, he's got the handsome looks and the whole farm boy 'lets have a rumble in the haystack' look going on. I'm sure I caught a nurse crash a trolley as he walked past. Lily Walsh... for your sake I'm not even going to go there because from what I hear she's yo-yoed her way between farm boy and Italian stallion for years and never made an honest choice in her charmed life... then there's you ... with the exception of Lucinda Walsh, who by the way is an incredible woman, your chances at a functional relationship were doomed from the outset."

Luke could hear the slight affection to Reid's words and had to laugh. His laugh, turned into a giggle and as his hands rubbed the tension away from his face, he turned to look at Reid who was smiling too.

"I've missed you."

Reid's felt dizzy and was sure his heart had over flown as he nodded an understanding. His skin flushed warm. Luke, his face now blushing pink, looked under his eyelids at Reid. Neither had the words to describe their connection but there was, and for the first time in a long time, an opportunity to try.


	13. Chapter 13

_**Author's Notes:**__  
**Sorry there's been a delay in posting. I had a family emergency so was without internet. All is back to normal now and I have LOTS of chapters to post! The next chapter will be the chapter of change :) Loved writing this one ... tis kinda awkward and fun! Enjoy! :D :D**  
**Thank you for all of the frankly, LOVELY feedback :D **_

**FRIDAY**

Luke lay still and watched as Reid talked to Doctor Hughes through the window, his stomach doing all kinds of lovely things as he took in every detail. He watched as Reid quickly mussed up his hair at regular intervals and tilted down his head to look at Bob under his eyelids, he noticed that Reid would roll up the sleeves of his long sleeved grey top under his scrubs maybe when the conversation became practical and he saw the change in Reid's speech flow evenly from sarcastic and snappy to respectful and almost submissive. Luke sighed contentedly. They'd eventually talked and we're able to be themselves again, the way they were before everything fell apart. Luke's brain was spacious and clear, his heart lighter and optimistic and all of that was sent spiralling and swooping, fizzing and fluttering as he watched Reid nod towards his door and then reach for the handle.

Luke shifted on top of the sheets. He was dressed in loose navy cotton pants and a red t-shirt, his hair typical of that in bed and his face plastered with the woozy grin he just couldn't fight anymore.

"So, it looks like you're going home tomorrow," Reid said as he closed the door behind him gently and turned with a small smile.

Luke shocked himself as a niggling feeling of disappointment tugged inside of him.

"Oh really? Wow, so fast?" he replied, knowing he was terrible at lying and being sure that if anyone would uncover the truth, it'd be Reid.

It was all Reid could do not to laugh in utter bewilderment, "You don't sound so excited..."

"No, no I really am pleased. Honest." Luke realised right there that he was a terrible terrible liar.

"What's wrong?" Reid asked, his voice deep and couched with subtle affection.

"Nothing, I'm fine, I just wasn't expecting to be let out so early. I mean, I still don't feel well enough I guess."

Reid nodded a slight understanding, his eyes still thin and wary of Luke's behaviour. "We've talked it through. Your creatine tests show signs of great improvement. We've got all of your samples back and nothing has concerned us. You've responded exceptionally to the anti-biotics over the past few days and your fever settled at the beginning of the week. The pain is understandable and so is the fatigue but this is nothing we can't sort out from home."

Luke listened and nodded as Reid spoke. He knew Reid as a doctor and he trusted him explicitly.

"Ok. Thank you," Luke said. He didn't know what else to say and just felt grateful.

Reid chuckled a little. "You of all people should know that a 'thank you' really isn't necessary. I am, first and foremost, your doctor right now and I think you're ready to go home."

"Then I'll go home," Luke answered sharply with a smile.

"I know." Reid winked and reached to sort through the charts and test results at the end of Luke's bed. They fell into a comfortable silence as Reid sank into the chair under the window and began sorting through Luke's file. Reid was in another world, it seemed. Luke recognised his concentration face and knew to leave him to it.

Reid scanned every page ensuring that all details were correct and precise. He wasn't about to let Luke step a centimetre out of the door if he wasn't one hundred and ten percent sure he was capable of it- this was the same for all of his patients and something indicative of his reputation as a thorough surgeon and meticulous doctor. He found his eyes incapable of focusing entirely while in Luke's room though... typical, he thought. Damn blonde's casting his spell again.

"Right, everything is as it should be. You're all set to go tomorrow. Do you want me to have Rosie call anyone for you so you can make arrangements?"

"Oh that'd be great. I can't use my cell here so I guess if she could call my dad that'd be great?"

"I'll speak to her on my break. The sister should be around soon with lunch, I hear it's lasagne today," Reid teased, knowing Luke hated the hospital's catering.

"There's one good thing about going home, I get my Grandmother's cooking. She's incredible and I swear I was even thinking about her sweet potatoes in my sleep." Luke smiled, thinking of home, and sighed dreamily.

"And I thought I had a semi-perverted obsession with food. You should see your face. Get a grip," Reid said with his usual sarcastic tone.

"Oh and I bet you've got one of your stunning sandwiches with you again ... or as I like to call them 'heart attacks on a plate'." Luke's raised eyebrows and pleased grin sent Reid spiralling. So fucking adorable and I never used the word 'adorable' lightly, he thought.

"Actually, know it all, I have and while you enjoy the beautiful culinary creation made my Nora and her team of hair-netted housewives, I'll not be thinking of you." Now it was Reid's time for a self satisfied grin. Leave the snark to me Snyder, he should have said.

"Try telling yourself that," Luke instantly bit back, the sparkle evident in his once tired eyes.

Reid narrowed his eyes playfully, quite impressed by Luke's fight, turned his back and left. As the door shut he shook the silliness out of him and scolded himself internally for acting like a god damned love sick teenager with all the flirting and ridiculousness. His brain fought back and reminded him firmly that no matter how hard he tried, he loved it and his pleasure centres were having a field day. Nothing quite like Luke Snyder to awaken the synapses. Shit, he thought, I'm the one who needs to seriously get a grip.

FRIDAY EVENING

"Dude you look like hell, seriously."

Casey Hughes, ever the charmer, Luke thought.

"Thanks Case, nice to know I can count on you to make me feel good about myself," Luke replied with mock resentment.

"Anytime bro," Casey chuckled, accompanying it with a boyish punch, "I'm only a phone call away!"

"Didn't you say you had to leave?" Luke asked, noticing the clock signally visiting time. Casey had duties and he was well known for his epic skills in procrastination.

"Yea dude, just a major pile of something green and disgusting along the corridoor to clean up but you know...pays the bills."

"What bills Case? You live with your mom and dad?" Luke laughed and shook his head.

"Shout it a bit louder and the hot nurse down the corridoor might just hear ya!"

Casey played pretend drums on Luke's bed and motioned towards the door. "Ok, I'm off, so... catch you tomorrow before you leave. Ali said she was going to come by to visit tomorrow night so yea, tell me when she's coming and I'll come at a different time."

Luke laughed again and went to ask why and what the status was with Ali when he caught a glimpse of Reid outside the door, minus his scrubs and dressed in normal everyday clothes.

"Ok, will do Casey, haaaave fuuuuun with your pile of green stuff!" he called and chuckled exasperatedly as Casey flicked him the finger.

"Friend of yours?" Reid asked, his face incredulous and somewhat in shock.

Luke giggles lightly. "That's Casey Hughes-"

"Jesus Christ how many more Hughes are there? Can they not get a damn hobby?"

Luke started to giggle until his sudden movements made his muscles strain in his back. He reached a hand around to sooth the pain himself.

"Still hurting?" Reid asked, a hand already easing up his t-shirt and pressing lightly around the flushed patch.

Luke nodded, his eyes closed and eyes wrinkled. "Just a little, nothing to worry about though."

"I'll be the judge of that. I've got the medical licence," Reid replied and Luke, although still with his eyes closed, could make out the change in the cadence of Reid's voice. His subtlety only added to their subtext. Luke knew his teasing was well meant.

Reid finished examining, his fingers lingering a little longer than required. "You're fine. Just suck it up Snyder, I can't help if I'm so hilarious it hurts," he said while smoothing Luke's clothes back down. The spikey words combined with Reid's gentle and expert touch sent Luke's stomach into a whirlwind of butterflies and fondness.

"You're in normal clothes," Luke stated- anything to surpress the intensity and to stop himself from feeling like a wobbly mess.

"Well spotted," Reid retorted.

"You just don't stop do you?" Luke stated, shaking his head and watching as Reid pulled a chair towards him, the air growing thicker with every millimetre. Reid's skin prickled as he saw Luke shuffled closer to the edge of the bed in response.

"I wanted to let you know that Rosie spoke to Hol-your father and he will be here in the morning to collect you. Also, erm," Reid stopped and Luke scanned his face, he was sure he could see a true and possibly bashful smile form, "Ethan wanted me to pass on a message."

Luke smiled hugely, "You spoke to him too? What message?"

"He wanted me to tell you that he went swimming at the pond with your sister and that he beat your record for lengths."

Reid felt odd. He wasn't used to being so domestic and chatty like this. He felt awkward and as if he shouldn't be saying such words and passing on such messages. He didn't feel he had the right to talk about Luke's family in such a way or feel so involved.

Luke seemed to be able to read his momentary insecurities. "Did he say anything else?"

"He wanted to know how many people I'd chopped into today," Reid answered, his voice lifting at the humour of the situation.

"What did you tell him?"

"Five."

Luke felt his head drop and a relaxed giggle escape. Reid was quiet but smiling. They looked at eachother and unmistakably felt the spark fly between them. Something felt new and relaxed and Reid fought a newfound warm fuzzy feeling of comfort- he had never thought he was capable of doing comfortable and easy. Harsh points and snappy remarks had never won him such luxuries in the past.

"He's going to be telling his friends about it, you do know that don't you?"

"I might just inspire a generation of mini-me's," Reid said, his words filled with aspiration.

"The word has enough with you believe me."

"I'm taking that as a compliment, Mr Snyder," Reid replied, his eyes glinting as he accepted his inability to stop shamelessly flirting.

Luke seemed to do the same as he answered, "You should."

Both, upon recognising their behaviour and snapping to reality from a cloud somewhere, caught eyes and laughed as they looked away. The tension released for a millisecond.

"How long are you staying?" Luke asked, causing Reid to shrug quite uncharacteristically. Luke's breath caught as he realised just how much he wanted that answer. Indefinite was good, especially as he really could not stop thinking about what going home and leaving the hospital meant. "Actually, would you just reach into that cupboard for me?"

Reid did just that and Luke watched as realisation washed over his face. Reid pulled out the marble chess board and put it on the table next to them.

"How long has that been there?" Reid asked, his eyes wide, showing he was quite uniquely touched.

"A while but I... I didn't really..." Luke stuttered, trying to find a way to avoid bringing up the past confusion and exposing his own pathetic fears.

"I get it," Reid said in understanding.

"So you want to play?"

"I've kicked your ass before, I'll gladly do it again," Reid responded with a smirk briefly visible on his poker face as Luke shuffled comfortably and prepared to move his first piece.


	14. Chapter 14

******Author's notes:  
********_This is only a short one and the next one is MUCH longer and I was swooning by the end of the next chapter. I loved writing it! :) Hope you enjoy! Feedback is appreciated - as always!_****  
**

Luke could barely breathe. Rosie's ginger curls encircled his face; he laughed, his fingers attempting to free strands from his mouth and eyes.

"I am going to miss you so much Luciano," she almost sobbed, her arms tight around his shoulders.

Luke laughed lightly at how emotional she appeared to be, "Hardly anyone calls me that."

"Yes, well, I do. It suits you, when you publish your first play or novel, you have to claim authorship under Luciano Eduardo Grimaldi," she gushed, now letting Luke go, "it sounds so stylish and so exotic. Promise me?"

Luke shook his head with a smile, "Ok ok, I promise." He returned the hug and pushed memories of Damian out of his mind. The name was his but it didn't define him- anymore.

Once Rosie had calmed, she helped Luke pack up his belongings and kept swatting him away every time he attempted to help significantly. All she allowed him to do was clean out his small cupboard and take down Ethan's drawings. Luke folded one particular drawing up and slide it between the pages in his notebook, knowing he'd keep it and want to cherish it. He smiled and watched as she fussed over him- Reid was right, he'd fallen in love with her a little bit. Reid wasn't around. He had been in surgery all day and had informed Luke that he'd probably not be able to come and help or discharge him and had left him entirely in the capable hands of Rosie. Luke wasn't surprised or particularly affected by this at the time as he was in a whirlwind of change and distracted far too much.

Luke was feeling much stronger. He was on vitamin tablets and had been up and about the hospital, reminding himself what it was like to be out of bed. He'd even taken a trip down to the children's department and paediatrics to see where some of the foundation's money had been invested. Reid had found him and had teased him about the age difference before escaping as the kids began finger painting. Reid had shuddered and almost flinched at what he termed the 'mess', making Luke laugh and roll his eyes. Even the sight of Reid standing next too a giant green fluffy dinosaur was enough to cause Luke to supress a giggle.

What Luke hadn't witnessed was Reid's lingering glance through the glass of the door. Luke and a small dark haired girl had been joined by a small blonde boy in an arm cast at a little table and had all positioned themselves on tiny stools. Luke's knees almost reached his chin but he'd laughed, motioning to the small girl who'd giggled- Reid supposed he'd joked about him being a giant. Luke would do something like that. Reid had smiled as he saw Luke take charge and dish out the paint pots without any care to cover the surface or the children. Reid had left then with another backward glance, feeling glowy inside. A twinge of sadness washed over him too as he dragged himself back to neuro wishing he could have been able to stay in the painbox coloured play room with Luke without a care in the world- he wished he knew how.

It was noon before Holden arrived to drive Luke home and Bob had discharged him fully with strong recommendations for diet, exercises to regain strength and a list of tablets and vitamins. Luke had never felt so looked after in his life.

"You ready?" Holden asked as he helped Luke gently tug his black jacket over his shoulders.

"As I'll ever be," he replied with a secretive swipe of his gaze over the hospital corridoor. He wished Reid had been around to say goodbye. It felt odd. Luke didn't know why it was necessary to say goodbye as he knew he was only going home not, as Reid had said in the past, 'moving out of the state' ... he still felt a twang of confusion and uncertainty. He had absolutely no idea what would happen next.

"Luke? Are you feeling ok to go?" Holden was hiding his concern, a trait he had carried through their life together. Luke smiled up at him and nodded.

"Yep, lets go home."

The drive was nice. Luke spent most of the time just watching out of the window. It felt strange yet familiar and Luke was so grateful to look at anything but the four walls of his room at Memorial.

During the drive home, Luke had felt his cell vibrate in his pocket and had tentitvely, reminding himself to take care with stretching, edged it out of his jacket pocket. With a huge grin and skipping heart, he read the text.

_Bob just told me he'd discharged you. Tried to get out of surgery but you know, couldn't leave any skulls exposed, even for you. Hope Rosie didn't cry too much. Don't be an idiot and over do it. Take care._

Luke chuckled to himself. Typical, he thought, the subtext said all he needed to know and it meant more this way. It wasn't schmaltzy and slushy, it was so ... Reid. He tucked his phone away and flickered his eyes to Holden incase he'd witnessed his giddy moment. He sighed contentedly when he realised he was safe and let his head fall back on the rest and his weary eyes shutter closed. Things didn't seem as uncertain anymore.

By late evening, Luke wished he was back in his starched sheets and metal frame bed. Between Lily and Natalie, who had decided she was Luke's own personal nurse, Luke wasn't sure who he wanted to strangle first. It was all in good humour of course, but they were stifling him to death.

"Luke, would you like another pillow?" Natalie asked, her skinny arms struggling to keep hold of four huge fluffy cushions.

"Aww Nat, I'm fine. Seriously. You go and play, honest I'm ok." Anything to get rid of her. He didn't want her to worry or fuss or think anything was her responsibility. He always felt for his little siblings, they hadn't had the easiest and most stable of lives even though they were constantly surrounded by love. Luke never wanted them to feel obliged to do anything- definitely not take care of him. That was his job.

"But Mom said that we have to look after you and sick people need pillows." Luke wondered where Natalie had heard that but smiled nontheless. She was so sweet.

"Look, Nat how about you go put those cushions back and get your favourite storybook. Bring it here and we can read. That sound like fun?" he asked, his voice lilting to sound exciting. She beamed and dropped the pillows at her feet as she turned and skipped down the stairs.

He'd spent the next hour reading 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarves' and was beginning to feel sleepy. Lily had prised a sleepy and snuggly Natalie from his arms and insisted Luke go to sleep. She'd fluffed pillows, folded blankets, made food, left water and had single handedly turned his room into a replica of Memorial's side room. Luke had sighed and fallen into bed, trying to remember what his old room looked like. He wanted normality, something to take his mind off the dull ache in his lower back and the wobbly motion of his legs as he walked, not to mention the woozy state his tablets inflicted upon him. As Lily had tucked him in like a baby, with a soft kiss to his temple and stroke of his hair, Luke felt five years old. He turned over uncomfortably in the stiff sheets and reached for his cell to check for the millionth time. His heart leaped in his chest as he saw he had two texts.

_All heads now sewn up. Thought I'd let you know you left a book here. That's all. PS: Nurse Dawes aka Rosie hugged me as I left tonight. Her eyes were still puffy. I blame you._

Luke laughed out loud in the dark and then clicked to the second text and found himself sighing shakily and biting his lip with a smile.

_Um, Katie wanted me to text to say 'get well soon' or whatever people say. So 'get well soon'. Night Luke x_

A Kiss. A Kiss. A Kiss. Luke didn't feel like a five year old now, he felt thirteen and completely fluttery. He clasped his eyes tightly shut and smiled. He fell asleep clutching his phone in seconds.


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Notes:**  
_**This one is much longer and I can't say how much I loved writing this one. I managed to get Ethan and Katie in plus a little cameo from Jacob. I'm a sucker for all and am surprised I didn't cram in Holden, Henry and Lucinda too to make it ALL of my favourites ;)**  
**The next chapter is a direct continuation... I had to stop SOMEWHERE! ENJOY !  
WARNING: There will be a teeny bit of swearing in certain chapters. I never imagine Luke as being one to swear but I think Reid would have a bit of a dirty mouth!**__  
_

"Wook...Wook...WOOK!"

Luke woke with a start and shot up in bed to see a sleepy Ethan with a half eaten piece of toast in his mouth.

"Ethan! What are you doing in here so early?" he asked, rubbing his eyes and sitting up n bed.

"Mom seh you ha come ba," Ethan explained, finishing his toast at the same time. He climbed, all hand and legs, onto Luke's high bed in a fluffy blue dressing gown and green pajama bottoms. Luke reached out to help him. As Ethan settled beside Luke, he snuggled into the duvet. Luke allowed himself to check the time- 6:30am.

"Yep, I'm here. All better now."

"Di Docto Weed cut opeh yo head?" he asked. Luke chuckled softly, messing his little brother's hair. Even with a mouth full of half eaten toast at stupid o'clock in the morning, Ethan was the cutest thing he'd ever seen.

"No Ethan, my head was fine it was my kidney. Doctor Oliver looked after me though, so did Doctor Hughes- you know Bob?"

Ethan swallowed his last mouthful of toast and smiled a beaming smile.

"I want to be a doctor like Doctor Reid. I told him I did."

Luke couldn't stifle a laugh imagining Reid's reaction to that announcement. "And what did Doctor Oliver say?"

"He told me I had to work hard and take care of people," Ethan answered as he reached over to pat Luke's arm. Luke, somewhat bewildered but in awe at his brother, smiled and reached out to tickle Ethan's tummy.

He squealed and wriggled about as Luke made faces. "Well then Doctor Snyder, you need to be my slave today and take care of me!" he shouted over Ethan's screams and high pitched giggles.

"Luke! Noooooooo! Get off meeeee!" Ethan shouted, all gasps and giggles.

Lily passed Luke's bedroom, still in her night gown and leaned against the door with a motherly smirk.

"Ethan sweetie, Luke has a poorly back, come on, lets get breakfast for your brother," she instructed as Ethan, realising he may be in trouble, sat up with wide eyes and clambered off Luke's bed. Luke, not content with tickling him mercilously, smacked his bottom as Ethan ran out of the room laughing.

"You are a bad influence Luke Snyder," Lily insinuated with amused narrow eyes.

Luke simply laughed and shuffled out of bed. Lily attempted to fuss and preen Luke but he batted her hands away and told her to go and find Ethan. If he was truthful, he didn't want to be fussed over and loved his brothers and sisters for their unabashed childishness and their way of taking his mind off things. He just wanted comfort and hugs but not the overwhelming kind and certainly not his mom's way. With his siblings he felt able to protect them and be the big brother he'd always thrived off being but Lily made him feel like a kid, a baby, and he didn't think he could stand it. He found himself craving someone close and realised he'd woken up with his own arm wrapped around his middle. It was a long time since he'd ever felt that warmth of someone else and their breath on his skin and arms around him.

...

Reid plonked himself lazily on the couch in lounge pants and an old college t-shirt and leaned forward to pick up his breakfast bagel.

"That smells amazing," Katie said as she emerged from her room with a sleepy Jacob. The baby was slumped on her shoulder making small snuffly noises into her pink gown.

"Oh don't think you're getting any. I don't forget the abuse you give my art of sandwich making. Make your own."

"Well, someone got out of the wrong side of the bed," she said as she approached the back of the sofa and in attempted payback she dangled Jacob infront of Reid's face.

"And what do you expect me to do with that?"

"That?" she gasped, "you're calling my beautiful baby boy 'that'. Shame on you Reid Oliver. Here, he's yours."

Reid sighed in the manner of a teenager and almost threw his bagel onto the plate as he held the baby under his arms. "Ok kid, come here."

As Katie wandered into the kitchen, Reid let Jacob lie across his chest and fought the urge to wrap him up properly. He didn't feel entitled and struggled against the twitch in his fingers.

"He adores you Reid," Katie called from the kitchen with a self satisfied smile. Reid just scowled at her and turned his attention immediately back to the sleeping infant lying infront of him as if, any second, Jacob would spring to life. Babies are predictable but Jacob was getting older and soon he'd be a brat. Reid was always waiting for that fateful day when it would all change.

Katie sat down next to Reid with two cups of hot tea, as usual, and stared in complete silence.

"Spit it out," Reid finally said to break the silence. He stiffened as Jacob moved in his sleep to clutch Reid's neck. He felt that warmth blanket his body and looked back at Katie as if to accuse her for his newfound softness.

Katie smiled knowingly, a shared subtext they relished in secretly. "You're only going to tell me to mind my own business then you're going to try to change the subject so ..."

"I know you're going to ask about Luke," Reid accused, his hidden hand sneakily a quick pat of Jacob as the baby shuffled a little in his sleep.

"Well? Why don't you talk. It's only Jacob and I and he's asleep," she said as she leaned back against the cushions comfortably. Reid didn't have a sister and he didn't have an affectionate relationship with his mother but the reality of Katie and Jacob felt so alien but so strangely comforting and new that sometimes he felt as if he had to pinch himself. This was one of those times. Anyone who didn't know Reid was gay and saw him in this situation would take no convincing that they were a family and, in a way, Reid liked that idea. In the same breath, he was terrifed of it. He felt himself stare intently at Jacob's tiny eyelashes and button nose and took in Katie's gentle breathing as she lay beside him with closed eyes; in these early morning meets due to Reid's sometimes spontaneous insomnia and Katie and Jacob rendevous, Reid couldn't help but marvel at the wonder of it all. He didn't understand it and was sure he got things wrong but he had learned so much and something hidden inside of him was tied so tightly to the life he'd found now that he didn't know how he'd cope if he ever had to leave it.

"I don't know what I'm doing," Reid spoke after an easy silence and plenty of internal discussion. Katie nodded an encouragement.

"Just talk to him."

Reid laughed sarcastically and then stopped abruptly, remembering Jacob's presence. "Katie, how long have you known me?"

"Ok ok, I know, you're not big on the mushy stuff," she said, shaking her head.

"He knows how I feel and I guess I know he's not with Noah any more but that's it. He's not my patient and he's single and I'm single and ..."

"...and?"

Reid laughed nervously and dragged Jacob over to Katie's knee. He settled immediately. Reid wished internally that he was still a baby, so oblivious to emotional bullshit. This was driving him crazy.

"...and he... oh Katie I can't do all of this," he said, his eyes darting every which way and his face a picture of exasperation.

"Try," she urged with a voice so firm and motherly that Reid felt so obliged.

"I can't get him out of my head, my brain. That. is. not. a. good. thing. for. me." Reid's voice was stilted and awkward. He shuffled slightly and Katie wondered if this was the first time he'd ever really done this. Yes, they'd talked in the past and shared feelings up to a point but Katie could tell that this was dangerously close to crossing Reid's comfort boundaries. She smiled genuinely and said nothing. "He's so infuriating. He's dramatic. He's annoying. He's always in your damn face even when you tell him in colourful language to get lost. He's so perky and irritatingly nice that I have to stop myself from strangling him. He's rich and charmed. His family are a...sorry Jacob ... fucking farce and lets face it, he had Noah Mayer as an ex-boyfriend but-"

Katie was laughing and biting her lip to stop any noise escaping. The silence in the dimly lit room was peaceful but Jacob was on the brink of sleep, she could tell.

"But what?" she asked, her face lit up and was so entertained.

Reid considered himself for a second and wasn't happy about what he knew he would say... but Katie did this to him. "He's...he's Luke."

It was all it took for Reid to stop himself blushing. It wasn't the words, it was the way he'd said them and it hadn't gone unnoticed by Katie. He'd sighed them out, letting them roll off his tongue with care and affection and a big old 'I can't think straight' sigh. Fuck, he thought, I've gone soft.

"Reid Oliver, I think you just answered your own question."

"Oh look at you all impressed with yourself," he retorted with a dismissive frown. Katie could see it written all over his face. He looked like an embarrassed teenager caught out with their first crush and she wanted to squeeze the life out of him. She knew he wanted out of the conversation so she gave him his ticket.

"Oh shut up grumpy. Listen, I'm putting Jacob back down and going back to bed before work but I'm only saying one more thing. You like him. It seems he likes you, for whatever reason I haven't got a clue but he does. You'd be a fool to let that go and by the look on your face now, and you can't deny it, you want him more than you've wanted anyone for a long time. You may not be good at mushy stuff but you and honesty work well so maybe you need to just run with it ... see what happens and be you, god knows he seems to like you for it."

With that, she kissed Reid on the head and lugged Jacob back into his nursery. He watched her leave and could not seem to find any words in reply- no sarcastic comment, no snarky snap ... nothing. She was right, honesty he could do and he'd just let things happen but be truthful at every turn. He looked around and felt the emptiness of the room now that Katie and Jacob were gone. It reminded him of his life back in Dallas. He threw his uneaten contraband early hours bagel into the trash and padded to his room. As he crawled under the sheets to join Katie for some stolen sleep before day break, he let himself acknowledge the void inside himself. Katie was lonely, he knew this, but she had Jacob and they were a team. He also knew that if love came along she'd be resistant for a while but would be open to it. Reid couldn't seem to say that for himself. He wasn't so sure he could do that and didn't want to drag anyone with him as a guinea pig trial. Luke deserved way more than that and he wasn't too sure Luke Snyder fully appreciated the way he really was. He stretched his arm across to the empty pillow and felt sad. He couldn't remember the last time it had been occupied and with an almost agonsied sigh, he tried to force the want inside himself away.

...

Luke could hear the clock ticking so loudly it felt like was reverberating around his brain. He rolled over on the couch and threw his book on the floor. He was frustrated and bored. Lily had left him food from Emma's and a flask of hot tea to apparently 'sooth his aches and pains' and had made her apoligies before disappearing off to deal with another of Gabriel's incidents- Luke was getting slightly sick of the kid. Ethan and Natalie had gone to the farm with Holden as he was intent on explaining his engagament to Molly- a picnic at the pond seemed like their plan to schmooze the kids. Luke had agreed and all but pushed both parents out of the door, knowing they would only end up going anyway. He wasn't in any danger or at any significant risk but he'd regretted his actions immediately. Not that he wanted to be fussed with, poked and prodded, he just wanted and needed something- he just couldn't specify what. He'd tried watching TV and decided he couldn't stand another second of CSI re-runs. He'd attempted writing but his tablets made his eyes woozy. He'd had a nap and only woke up ten minutes later feeling worse than before. He'd settled on some reading but found he was reading the same sections over and over without an explanation as to why.

By 7pm, Luke was sure he was ready to throw himself in Snyder Pond and be done with it. He felt so forlorn and pathetic. After ten more minutes of wandering the house and sighing heavily, he pulled on his jacket and stepped out into the chilly night.

...

Reid had successfully performed surgery on a middle-aged lady with five children, a husband and two labrador puppies during his shift so was feeling particularly impressed with himself and also somewhat happy with the world. Katie took full advantage.

Upon his return home, he'd recognised a sadness to her eyes and put it down to some sort of emotional trouble- he could read her like a book but wasn't so astute to know exactly what kind emotional trauma she was experiencing- it wasn't an area he understood. He knew she wanted someone around so he'd agreed to stay in and watch a movie with her. Jacob being the best roommate Reid had ever encountered, slept soundlessly throughout.

"She looks like a horse."

Katie was laughing, not just little laughs but huge, eye watering laughs that made her clutch her stomach in a bittersweet pain. She'd insisted the movie was her choice as it was her house, logic that Reid failed to call her on- he was tired- so he'd settled, as much as he physically could when faced with such certain agony, and endured the horror of Sex and the City: The Movie.

"That's Carrie Bradshaw you're talking about. I will be forced to kill you if you insult her."

"Kill me. I give you permission because she, my friend, looks like a horse," Reid had snapped with a goofy grin. The movie, he'd said countless times, was utter shit but he'd amused himself nonetheless with his own commentary. "If there's one character on here who has any redeeming qualities it's Samantha."

Katie raised her eyebrows at Reid's knowing her name and began hitting him with the DVD box as she climbed off the sofa.

"Screw you Reid Oliver, I try to have a nice night and you ruin it with your stupid comments."

"You love it, you adore it and you wouldn't be without it," he sang as she piled their mugs into the sink.

"Bite me."

"Kinky," he replied. They both laughed recognising the banter between them and secretly thrived off it, as always.

"Ok genius, I'm off to sleep, turn off all the lights when you go to bed will you?" she asked as she made her way across the lamp lit lounge towards her room.

"Yes mom," he replied, only to be met with a rude gesture from Katie.

Reid gasped dramatically, "Your infant son is in the next room, if only he knew his mother used such profanities!". She laughed and let out a groan of mock weariness before waving a tired goodnight and blowing a sarcastic kiss. She even heard Reid's 'you too' as she disappeared through her door.

Reid sat for a short while longer in the dusky lounge and enjoyed the clumsiness of his surroundings, the cushions misplaced and the cups strewn in the sink, Jacob's outfits piled messily on a chair and even some of his own journals spread on a table in the corner. He smiled to himself and then kept himself in check. Such a sap, his inner voice scolded.

There was a sudden knock at the door causing Reid to glance towards Jacob's room expecting a strangled cry to ensue. When it didn't he hopped off the sofa and tilted the door handle gently, easing it open to muffle the creaking sound.

Luke peered around the door and half smiled, his face painted with nerves and uncertainty. Reid wanted to wash it all away and in that second felt how much he'd missed Luke and his silly smile.

"What are you doing here so late?" Reid asked, remembering he was wearing the same lounge pants and college t-shirt from the previous night. Luke blinked too many times and spoke with a hint of forced confidence.

"I got your texts, I wanted to thank Katie and you and um, yea I wanted to say thanks and for everything you did, you know, in hospital and for me and my family."

Luke's eyes shone as he glanced at the version of Reid infront of him. His hair was messy and sticking up a little, his t-shirt hung comfortably and his bare feet made him seem so at home. Luke could barely breathe as he tried to cram all of these new details in.

"Luke, I was your doctor, there really is no need to thank me, I've told you. You been round to Bob's house too?" Reid asked cheekily.

Luke blushed. Fuck fuck fuck, Reid thought, not the blush. To accompany this, Luke stammered too, his entire demeanor too endearing for words and the want in his eyes too hot for Reid to even grasp.

"I erm, no, I was erm, I was going to go round tomorrow and erm say thank you to Bob, yes."

Reid had to smile. He had to have his playtime somehow.

"You want to come in?" he asked, opening the door a little further and feeling the chill. "Are you not cold? You walked here in this weather. Here, sit by the heater. I mean, as your doctor, it's unwise of you to expose yourself to such temperatures ... not healthy."

Luke's entire body flushed warm as he stepped into Katies house and he knew only a small part of that was owing to the temperature. His skin tingled at the closeness of Reid eventhough he was a few metres away. It felt like miles. Both could sense it.

"I'm good, thanks," Luke said with a smile and shrug. Reid could feel the tension stuffing up the atmosphere as he lowered himself onto the couch. Luke peered fleetingly at Reid again. In this environment, Luke had never seen Reid look sexier, more inviting and had never wanted to be in the presence of someone so much. Luke knew what Reid would reply to such a comment, something like 'because I'm that awesome', and smiled secretly to himself. Reid, as he kept his eyes on Luke's form taking off his jacket and laying it over the arm of the couch, wanted to lock the door. He didn't know why and felt weird imaginging such a thing but he knew that he didn't want Luke to leave, he wanted him to stay for a long time... something he was sure he wanted, craved and needed so badly it hurt.


	16. Chapter 16

Reid's brain was screaming at him, shouting, yelling and generally begging for him to say something- anything.

"So do you want something to drink? Tea? Water? Soda? Juice?" he asked as he walked into the adjoining kitchen. Luke let his eyes follow Reid and smiled as he read the slogan on the back of Reid's t-shirt- 'Harvard Chess Team Captain'. He tried to surpress a giggle and bit his lip when he saw the logo underneath and considered how seriously they must have taken it back then. Luke just wanted to... in that moment he wanted everything, including the clothes off Reid's back. There was something about Reid's geeky past and nerdy secrets that made him more human, even if he didn't expose it a lot. Luke felt priviledged to know the little information he did.

"Um tea would be great, thanks," he replied and sank back into the couch, turning his head to face Reid as he boiled, poured and stirred. There was silence. Not an uncomfortable silence, not an empty silence but a charged silence- so loud they could almost hear their own thoughts and hearts beating.

Reid spoke first again. "So why were you roaming the streets at this time of night?"

"I spent the day alone and was so bored I was ready to set fire to the house or jump in the pond just for some excitement," Luke admitted with a nervous chuckle. He didn't know if his words were correct or appropriate.

"So, what excitement did you expect to find here?" Reid asked, glancing over his shoulder. Luke flushed pink and looked down. Reid enjoyed the sense of achievement he got from knowing he was driving Luke crazy and forcably squashed the rising flutter in his stomach.

"I must be a masochist," Luke pondered somewhat more confidently, "I don't know what I expected, coming here."

"Well, all you're getting is a cup of tea and a warm house, rich boy, don't be expecting anything else," Reid teased, his eyes wide and face amused. He turned to pass Luke his mug. As Luke reached for it, he let his eyes lock with Reid's and spoke quietly, the words couched in so much ambiguity. "Damn, what a shame."

Reid let his mind flash with images of him scaling the kitchen counter, dragging himself over Luke and doing unspeakable things to him for as long as he could possibly last ... which was a long time- Reid wasn't one to give up. He read into Luke's words and witnessed the sparkling in Luke's eyes and the redness to his cheeks. Reid cursed over and over again as some sort of mantra. He knew it was impossible to last any longer without going truly insane so he said something odd, the last thing he ever thought he'd ever say and his brain seemed to lag seconds behind.

"Lets play a game."

Luke's eyes were at risk of popping out of his head. "Um, what?"

Reid climbed onto the sofa and sat dead straight infront of Luke. He held the mug between both hands and drank slowly, his eyes peering over the rim of the crockery.

"You ever played 'favourites'?" he asked. He remembered Katie's words and knew that this he was capable of. He felt in charge and in control- he could lead this whichever way he wanted. It meant finding out about Luke. It meant him staying a while longer. It meant getting to stare at his pretty face as he spoke. It meant some honesty and, for the first time in a long time, Reid wanted to just talk. He wanted to sit and just talk to someone, even if that someone was wearing far too many clothes for his liking and was the particular individual you fantasised about nightly and found impossible to block out of your thoughts. Ok, he thought, the game.

"I think Ethan made me play it with him once, why?"

"That kid's got style. So you know that one person asks a question and the other answers honestly, right?"

Luke was smiling now, he couldn't help it. He did let his brain consider if this was Reid's seduction tactic then convinced himself he was being presumtous. It was kind of lame, geeky but infinitely cute and all Luke could think of was the fact that it allowed him time to stay.

"Ok, I remember," he said with a boyish smile, "who's going first?"

"I will," Reid asserted. He shuffled on the spot and pulled the cushion out from under him, positioning it so he could lean back into it. "Favourite food?"

Luke laughed, loud and giggly. Typical.

His face was alight and shining. Never did he imagine he'd be sitting in Katie's lounge with Reid late at night playing games. It felt strange to put it like that but in the moment it was precious.

"Grandma Emma's chocolate brownies." Reid smiled appreciatively at the fact Luke answered- he wanted to play.

"I need to meet this woman. Knew it'd be something sweet."

Luke frowned with a hint of accusation, questioning Reid's assumption and fired his question. "Favourite childhood memory"

Reid almost stammered on his answer. He knew which he'd choose but it was alien to speak of his past with ease. He sighed labouriously into his words. "My father took me to the a science museum in New York for my birthday. I think I'd insisted," Luke interrupted with a knowing laugh to which Reid shot a teasing 'shut up' glare, "and so we went and spent hours at the different exhibititons. I think I must have walked off and I lost him. I was only around six but I was headstrong so I didn't care. I must have ended up in the anatomy exhibition because I remember staying there for hours and I cried and threw a tantrum when my father found me and tried to get me to leave. That was probably my favourite memory."

It took Luke what felt like minutes to reply. He was lost in the image of Reid as a little boy surrounded by grouseome pictures and body parts, his mouth open and his mind working on over time in fascination.

"Is that why you wanted to become a doctor?" he finally asked.

"My turn," Reid said, dismissing Luke's question with a cheeky grin. "Favourite thing to do in your spare time?"

A smile crept over Luke's face as he spoke. "I love to go out riding."

"Riding what?" Reid asked, frowning in confusion.

"My horse."

Reid did a double-take, his eyebrows raised. "You ride horses?" he exclaimed, leaning in a little on the couch.

"There's so much you don't know about me," Luke mumbled, his face quite serious.

"You. had. a. pony," Reid laughed out oblivious to Luke's tone, his hand leaving his mug and mussing up his hair on one side. Luke watched every millimetre of movement and narrowed his eyes.

"Shut up. Anyway it's my turn now. Favourite moment in Oakdale?" Luke nodded cleverly and cocked his head to the side.

Reid was nervous. Instantly. His eyes held an almost fear, which Luke could see and relished in.

"What kind of question is that?" Reid asked. He didn't want to answer, knowing his answer would somehow involve Luke.

Luke forgot to breathe, his skin tingling and hairs standing on end. He waited patiently and suddenly felt confident. He felt in control and for once, recognised a lack of comfort and self assurance in Reid's eyes.

Reid thought of Katie. He remembered her words and repeated them over and over as he attempted to form words. It was difficult. Really damned difficult, especially when he couldn't take his eyes off Luke's pouty lips.

"They're all pretty awful," was what he eventually said.

Luke laughed quickly and slapped his knees. "I KNEW you'd say something like that. Not good enough, I answered honestly so you need to. It's the rule."

"You think you're so clever," Reid stated, still lacking in his usual 'know it all' attitude.

"No, just honest. Are you going to answer?" Luke grinned cleverly again, his elbow digging into the back of the sofa as he leaned his head on it, still fizzing from his burst of self confidence. He found himself in that moment. The Luke Snyder who went after what he wanted, the Luke Snyder who led with his heart. In that moment his heart was hammering.

"I did. I don't have any good memories from this dump," he said sarcastically trying to claw back his protective guards, trying to back peddle his way out of this situation. It all felt too close, it felt too much, too serious, too dangerous, too exciting, too overwhelming, too scary, too good, too intense ... breathing wasn't even an option.

It was silent for a while longer. Reid's eyes averted Luke's yet Luke kept his fixed ahead. Reid almost jumped as he saw Luke's arm move and land next to his leg, he felt Luke's body come closer and let his eyes slide up to meet Luke's. Neither spoke but their eyes did it for them. As Luke leaned in closer and closer, Reid could feel himself going dizzy. His head spun and breathing shuddered- he didn't think he could keep himself upright. He was almost shaking from the pressure of holding back.

Luke's eyes became a blur and his lips brushed Reid's. Reid shivvered and reached out a tentative arm to steady Luke. The position they were in was unusual but they were close, so very close that neither cared. Reid closed his eyes as his pupils dilated and rolled back. He could barely cling onto reality as he felt Luke's other hand pin him in position by his hip. His skin was on fire, his spine tingled and yet he still managed to hold back. He let his hand gently touch Luke's jaw, tickling the skin and felt Luke wriggle a little. He smiled momentarily into the kiss and Luke noticed, he definitely noticed. He reacted by forcing Reid deeper into the couch, pressing his chest down and letting his hands work their way up into Reid's messy hair. He was in charge and Reid's head swam with desire. He felt the ache in his stomach and let out a small noise. He could barely help it. He had no idea if he could remember the last time someone had their hands in his hair and arms around his neck, he couldn't remember the last time he felt that feeling inside and definitely did not recall ever been kissed with so much warmth and just... just complete ... he couldn't even think. Words were no where near enough. He felt Luke's lips drag slowly towards the edge of his mouth and inwardly collapsed with lust. Luke knew the effect he was having and he could barely form a coherant thought. Luke's soft lips pressed themselves in patterns on Reid's cheek and as his head drifted back onto the couch, he almost lost consciousness. His brain must have alerted itself a little as he felt Luke stop for a second. Reid's hand tugged gently on Luke's t-shirt and pushed him back a little.

He struggled with the syllables and knew if he took a second to think, he'd never get any words out so he spoke lazily but with so much assurity. He had no doubt in his mind that the words were true.

"This. Right here. Right now."

Luke knew exactly what he meant and it sent his head spinning. "Me too," he whispered just above Reid's lips, not really knowing what that meant but saying it anyway.


	17. Chapter 17

******Author's Notes:**  
**_Any mistakes are definitely mine. I'm sure there a few little mistake here and there as this is pretty stuffed with awkward dialogue and stilted description but please forgive me. I wrote this on the train and it isn't beta-d so I'm sort of blind to the mistakes! ANYWAY- enjoy...I got farrrrr too much enjoyment out of writing this Chapter :D_**

Luke's lips were persistent and Reid didn't know how much more he could take. He knew he had to be careful and also knew that if he let himself go, truly let himself go, they couldn't take anything back. He remembered Luke saying something similar to him in the past and shocked himself.

"Luke?" he mumbled into the kiss and tugged again at his t-shirt. Luke leaned up with wide eyes. His face was flushed, his lips slightly swollen and his hair lopsided. Reid smirked to show he wasn't freaking out and Luke attempted to lean back into the kiss. Reid chuckled slightly but kept the distance between them both.

Reid suddenly didn't have a clue what he was going to say and struggled to remember why he stopped the kiss. Luke felt a twinge of embarrassment and sat back onto the couch. This is fucking ridiculous, Reid cursed inwardly. He knew he wanted Luke like nothing he'd ever encountered before. He was pretty much pathetically desperate for him. What the fuck are you doing, he questioned himself, you have a cute blonde kissing you like there's no tomorrow and you stop it. Idiot, complete idiot.

Luke surprised him by lifting himself from the couch.

"Where are you going?" Reid asked, his voice oddly pitched and quick.

Luke's face was stoic and serious. "I was just going to find your stupid pills."

Reid bit his lip, his face twisting into a smirk. "Oh look at you being so cute."

"Oh you know it," Luke shot back with a flirty frown. He sat on the arm of the couch.

Reid wanted to pinch himself. This was too damn good to be true.

They could hear their breathing loud and clear. It was like a wake-up call and neither really knew what to do. Barriers had been crossed and confusion filled the air; they both found themselves in an odd situation. Luke fiddled with the hair at the nape of his neck and Reid straightened a cushion.

"So, um, I guess I should go home," Luke said, reaching for his jacket.

Reid must have moved like lightening as Luke blinked rapidly back at him. Reid was on his feet in seconds. He just stood there and went to speak but he didn't know what to say- he felt like a pre-pubescent teen. "If you want to," he said, pulling down the corner of his t-shirt. Luke followed Reid's hand with his eyes and was momentarily preoccupied with wondering what it'd be like to just reach out and touch him whenever he wanted, to see him in domestic situations all of the time and he considered how it would feel if kisses like the one they'd shared, and also those they'd shared in the past, were a daily occurance.

Luke thought he'd discreetly shook his head but Reid saw it, he saw the lack of enthusiasm for leaving, the brief sadness and the waning excitement written on Luke's face.

"What was so awful about being at home?" Reid asked, breaking the silence again.

Luke looked up to see Reid leaning on the other arm of the couch. He smiled a little, grateful for Reid not agreeing he should leave. He didn't want to at all. "Nobody was home and I was bored. I guess I'm so fed up of being by myself." Luke felt as if he should have omitted the last phrase but as Reid's understanding eyes met his he didn't care too much- it was the truth.

Reid took a deep breath. "Why did you come here?"

They simply looked at eachother, the trust ever present but there was something new, something that neither understood fully. Luke wasn't so nervous anymore, he wanted Reid to know why.

"I wanted to see you." Luke admitted, looking under his eyelids. Reid smiled genuinely and somewhat smugly. "Don't let it go to your already enormous head."

Reid felt himself giggle, an actual giggle. His temples felt tight and his eyes weary but a single glance in Luke's direction sent energy coursing through his body. "Very funny. So, you wanted to see me?"

"Yes," Luke answered matter of factly, "so you sent me three texts in one day and ended the last with a kiss?"

Reid looked as if he'd been kicked in the chest. His eyes awkwardly darted around and when they finally settled on Luke's, he drowned in the sheer depth of them. He tried to speak and just didn't even want to anymore. If he was honest, Reid was so damned sick of talking. He stood up, placed his mug on the kitchen counter and flicked the light switch, plunging the room into an easy darkness.

"Reid, I'm still here," Luke whispered, his voice filled with humour.

"So perceptive," Reid replied, grinning into the blackness. Luke looked around him with 'what the hell' written all over his face.

Luke stood up and walked towards Reid. When he was highlighted in the orange glow from Reid's bedroom doorway, he stood still mirroring Reid's stance. "Explain?"

"Do you... do you want to stay?"

Luke shuffled his feet only a metre away from Reid. It was so dark and they were so close. Luke's head reeled as he stepped forward slightly. At witnessing Luke's advances, it took Reid seconds to give up. He clutched the neck of Luke's t-shirt and pulled him forward gently, groaning into a kiss so deep that Luke barely stayed standing. Luke's hands found their way up to rest on Reid's strong chest. His eyebrows raised with each movement. He savoured every second and felt fireworks crackle intensely up his spine as Reid's lips playfully tapped little kisses in amongst forceful ones.

"Reid...Reid... Reid..." Luke attempted to say as Reid's lips muffled the sound.

"Hmmmmmhhmmm?" Reid asked dreamily in a low hum as he frowned into the kiss.

Luke was so overwhelmed he didn't push his question. He wanted to ask what was going on, he wanted to know what Reid was thinking and so many other questions and worries and insecurities crept into his mind. As Reid's head tilted, his lips dotted gradual kisses along Luke's jaw, down his neck and rested on a spot just above Luke's colar bone. Luke shivvered and Reid's right arm wrapped tightly around Luke's hip, dragging him forward. Luke let out breathy noises that Reid could feel right in the pit of his stomach. His entire body ached and he poured his feelings into every movement. He couldn't remember feeling so much and so strongly. It took him over and intoxicated his senses so entirely that as he tugged Luke into his room, kicking the door closed, he left rational thought somewhere in the darkness of the lounge.

It was Luke who stopped first. "Reid," he started with a low whisper, "what are we doing?"

"Do you want me draw a diagram?" was the answer Luke got. Reid's voice was steeped in lust, all gasping and dismissive. Reid wanted one thing and one thing only and Luke's words weren't helping. He'd given up on thinking now.

"Reid, stop, Reid, ouch, Reid," Luke said in clipped bursts. Reid halted instantly.

"Ouch?" he asked, eyes huge and suddenly uncharacteristically panicky.

"It's ok," Luke reassured, his right hand travelling up Reid's side to stroke a line down his jaw, "I'm fine, I just don't know if I can do this right now."

Reid held Luke's elbows and leaned back to look into his eyes. His gaze emitted pure concern. "Are you ok?"

Luke's heart swelled at those words. "Of course," he whispered as he leaned in slowly and planted a tender kiss on Reid's lips, "I'm ok, I can't believe I'm saying all of this but I don't think I'm ready."

Reid felt odd receiving something so loving, so gentle. He sighed and let go of Luke, his arms falling at his sides. Fuck, I blew it and it didn't even get started, Reid thought as old insecurities flooded back.

Luke continued. "What I mean is, I don't think I feel well enough. Your hand," he laughed a little and glanced up with his brown eyes shining, "was there and it felt... I mean I'm not complaining, I just felt anxious too. It's got nothing to do with YOU, it's just, it kinda hurts to do even the smallest of things right now and I am still pretty dizzy and uncoordinated and that's not because you just kissed me stupid... I just don't want to risk it. Do you understand? This isn't me freaking out about, well, about what was going to happen. This is me asking if you'll wait. I get it if you don't want to and can't or whatever but I wan-"

Reid kissed him. He did it knowing it meant something pretty significant. Gone were the days when Reid Oliver would drag someone into his room, shut off his brain and heart and entire self awareness and have a night's unadulterated insanity with someone he'd forget in a week, screw that, after a few hours and a decent sandwich. He wanted Luke Snyder, all of him and didn't care how long or what he had to do to get him. He felt as if he should say something like 'I'll wait as long as you need' or whatever schmaltzy crap floppy haired guys say in god awful sappy movies but he couldn't bring himself to. I may want to cuddle, kiss, snuggle and all of the other soft and squishy things people say you should want, he thought, and I've never wanted them before but now I do and I also want to see and touch every square inch of his body and spend hours having sex on every surfance in Katie's house, especially the kitchen counter. His head tangled up with an array of random thoughts, wishes and desires at the forefront and left behind all of the black and white, the harsh corners and stark dos and don'ts. He felt his hand tickle its way up into Luke's blonde hair and sighed into one of the most heartfelt kisses he'd ever experienced. He wanted Luke to know he didn't give a damn about anything and didn't care if they only had mind-blowing sex every Christmas, well he'd like it a little more often but it was the general principle he was going for; he wanted Luke and that was the only black and white idea left.

As Luke wobbled on the spot and felt Reid's lips lift slowly from his, he opened his gaze to meet Reid's blue eyes. The dark orange lamp light came into focus and Luke felt so oddly at home. He kept hold of Reid's t-shirt and almost swayed on the spot. He didn't think he'd ever come down from such a kiss. "Oh my... wow," was all he was able to say.

Reid laughed under his breath and left Luke standing in the centre of his room as he tapped a switch, flooding his en-suite in a bright white light. Luke watched as he reached into a drawer and pulled out a t-shirt. It was navy blue and fraying slightly at the bottom. Luke let himself laugh out loud, knowing Reid would understand why, as he read the words "Harvard Science Club: National Science Fair State Tour".

Luke was sure he could see a smattering of blush on Reid's cheek as he watched him lean over and draw the curtains. "Science nerd guy?"

"Shut up," Reid replied, looking behind him and throwing Luke a humour filled glare. As he turned back to face Luke, Reid reached to ease Luke's thin hoodie from his shoulders. He felt odd in the moment, as if he wasn't made for such domesticity, but it felt right so he carried on. Luke focused on Reid's actions, a dreamy grin plastered on his face. "I'm going to say shut up again if you stare at me like that anymore."

"Reid, has anyone ever told you, you're such a charmer?" he asked with a chuckle.

"Oh god all of the time," was the reply. Reid threw Luke's hoodie on the chair in the corner of the room. "You can use the bathroom and feel free to get changed in there or whatever."

Luke nodded gratefully and disappeared into the en-suite. Reid pulled himself onto his bed and tried to shut his noisy brain up. He was alone for minutes and he could barely think straight. In the short time he'd considered running out of Katie's house and never looking back alongside going into the bathroom and declaring mushy, heartfelt swooning love for the cute blonde currently changing into his fucking embarrassing college t-shirt. Shit shit shit shit, he thought, this just got so real.

"You must have been a real geek," he heard from the bathroom as the white light disappeared with a click. Luke appeared in boxers and said t-shirt looking practically edible. Reid's skin prickled and he was sure he'd self combust.

"Um, something like that although I'm not a world renowned neurosurgeon so I guess it worked out for me," he replied, attempting to claw his sarcasm out to cut the intensity. His brain could only muster curse words in an attempt to calm the overwhelming surge of just..._nghhhhhhh_ inside of him.

Luke looked a little lost, he shuffled slightly and seemed to be holding back. Reid, in t-shirt and lounge pants still (no major skin on show for Luke to possibly brush against was a much safer bet), pulled the chord on his lamp and cloaked the room in darkness.

He half expected Luke's voice to whisper in the blackness but instead, without words, he felt a hand push his chest down onto the bed, the fingertips leaving scorch marks on his skin. The same hand was joined by a second which slotted by his hip. The mattress dipped and both arms were used to steady an entire body onto the bed. Reid was frozen to the spot. He was sure he was dreaming.

Luke wriggled in the sheet and tossed it over Reid too. He didn't see movement but he felt a tug and knew Reid was dragging it fully over them both. Luke took this as enough encouragement. He slide his hand across Reid's chest, noting Reid's slight shudder, and nuzzled his head into the warm crook of Reid's arm. He waited, somewhat rigidly, for the go ahead, something to say that this was ok. It came immediately as Luke felt Reid soften, his muscles relax and eventually an arm snake around his back and wrap itself tentatively around. Luke closed his eyes tight and smiled lazily as he felt a small rub being applied to his kidney area. "Thank you," he spoke into the cloth of Reid's t-shirt.

"Tell anyone at the hospital, outside of the hospital, in your family, in Oakdale or in fact a single other soul that I cuddle and I swear I'll make your life a living nightmare," Reid whispered deeply. It was listening to Luke's soft and uncontrollable laughter, feeling every single inch of Luke's warm body pressed close and finally hearing his steady breathing and snuffles as he drifted to sleep that sent every one of Reid's senses spiralling, his newly vibrant heart wasn't far behind.


	18. Chapter 18

******Author's Notes:**  
**_I LOVED LOVED LOVED writing this one. I'm SUCH a sucker for morning after scenes and had to cram in a Reid/Food reference. Love the image of bed head Reid too so he had to go in there too :P  
Hope you enjoy! The next chapter changes a little and there's something to happen in the next few chapters that will mix it up a little but they have to have these moments first :D :D_****  
**

Luke was the first to wake. As his eyes opened, he blinked several times and had to talk himself through what he saw. He was sure he couldn't be where he actually was and was convinced the previous night had been a dream. As he rolled over slightly, he felt Reid's arm wriggle and tighten around his waist. He could barely move but he didn't mind so much. He lay, his head still in the crook of Reid's arm and his legs tucked up- he guessed they hadn't moved all night. Luke was a restless sleeper usually, all flailing hands and kicking legs and recalled Noah's complaining once when he'd woken up diagonally on the bed with the covers on the floor. Luke smiled to himself as he realised times must have changed.

Again, the nervousness crept in and Luke sighed, telling his muscles to relax. He began to worry a little that Reid would wake up and wonder what the hell he'd done letting Luke stay over or he'd close up again and regret all that happened. He knew Reid pretty well and was sure he wouldn't freak out, he wasn't the type, but Luke knew all to well how fast the walls could build. Luke sighed again- no way was he going to let that happen.

He peeled Reid's arm from around his waist and placed it gingerly on the bed; he shuffled lightly down off the mattress and turned, in the dusky light, watching as Reid mumbled something incoherent and pushed his arm under the pillow under his head. It took seconds for him to settle down and Luke felt he could make his exit. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror on Reid's wall and watched as his own hand flew up to his face to stifle his laugh. He was smiling, his cheeks pink and hair wild; he surveyed Reid's Science Tour t-shirt again and smirked at himself affectionately before shaking his head as if to say 'how the hell is this happening' and eased himself out of the room without a sound.

As he tiptoed into the kitchen, he flicked the kettle on. Immediately the bubbling began and he almost hopped on the spot trying to shush it. Loudest kettle ever. He flicked it off again and simply filled a glass with water from the tap. He went to turn and take a seat on the couch.

"Who the hell are you?" someone shouted, the bright light searing into Luke's eyes and almost burning his retina.

"Woa, What? It's Luke, Luke Snyder!" he called back in some lame squeak as he saw Katie come into vision.

"Jesus Luke, what the hell are you doing in my kitchen at this-" she stopped as she witnessed his t-shirt and boxers, "Oh."

He was sure he'd turned beetroot red, his face stinging from the embarrassment. "Oh god I'm sorry Katie, I was just thirsty."

"Aha, I see. Long night was it?" she asked cheekily, biting her lip. Luke wanted to die right there and then and was almost begging the ground to swallow him. He felt like he was in some hideously bad movie and the director would just yell cut at any second.

"Um, I erm, I..." he stuttered, knowing Katie was enjoying this far too much. She was now in the kitchen, flicking on the noisy kettle, starting up the toaster and generally making noise. Luke smiled as he appreciated her lack of consideration for Reid sleeping- they were so comfortable with eachother it seemed.

"Luke, it's fine. I'm teasing. You want some tea?" she asked. Luke wanted to tell her she was incredible and he loved her but he stopped himself and simply replied with, "Thanks Katie, that'd be great." He meant it, he was so grateful she hadn't freaked out- most people would have.

"So, is Reid still sleeping?" she asked with raised eyebrows and still a hint of a smug smirk.

Luke knew he was blushing still but battled on. "I think so," he started but realised he might as well cut the crap, "yea he is."

Katie chuckled and dramatically turned on the roaring grill. The noises coming from the kitchen were ridiculous. Luke was sure he'd never heard appliances make so much noise and stood back to survey the madness. She looked so angelic and pretty in her pale purple nightgown and cream slippers, her shiney blonde hair lying loosely around her shoulders but in her eyes shone the menace of the devil. Luke found every detail completely hilarious.

"Great, well he'll not be for long," was all she said as she opened the fridge forcefully and started saying the ingredients out loud and clear as she pulled them from the shelves, placing them one by one on the counter to the left. "Bacon, Pancakes, Syrup, Hashbrowns..."

"Morning!"

Luke was ready to burst into hysterics. It was like watching some awesomely slick sitcom. Reid was in his doorway all bed hair and creased clothes, looking sexier than Luke could stand. Luke knew he was blushing again but just accepted it was inevitable. Reid rubbed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair as he lazily stumbled into the kitchen. Luke wasn't all that sure he'd noticed him leaning against the arm of the couch.

Katie smiled enormously and reached up the mess Reid's hair more. "Food's on the counter. I'll have tea and erm, Luke wants one too." Reid's eyes opened rapidly and his head swung to face the lounge. He breathed in deeply when his eyes fell on Luke.

"Hi," was all he seemed to be able to muster but Luke watched as he came back to reality from dreamland. His tongue prodded his teeth as he smirked. "Tea?" he asked Luke whilst shooting an 'I'm going to murder you' glare at Katie. She had occupied herself folding a small pile of Jacob's clothes but was hiding her amused expression. She was loving every second.

"Well, me and Jacob have a date with a bubble bath so I'll see you two boys after," she added after a few minutes of awkward silence, taking a steaming mug of tea from Reid's hand.

"I hope you drown in there," Reid mumbled under his breath but Luke knew Katie had heard it as she laughed soundlessly and shook her head.

Luke barely knew what to say next. He considered a 'how did you sleep?' or a 'nice morning isn't it?' but knew Reid would tell him to cut the small talk so he opted for something more inventive and honest.

"You are like a human radiator," was what he chose. He expected a blush to rise but it didn't, instead he felt quite at ease and shimmied towards the kitchen counter. Reid, on the other side, watched as Luke leaned forward on his hands and drank his tea slowly. He wondered in what universe this happened to him. Luke Snyder. Boxers. Dorky t-shirt. Flirtily drinking tea. He wasn't religious, bunch of hocum that it was, but he was sure somewhere that the man in the sky with the big white beard had taken pity on him.

"Why thank you," Reid responded, holding a spatula and turning his pancakes, "glad to know I could be of service."

"No problem. Anytime," Luke snapped back with a breathy laugh.

"You make weird noises," Reid offered. He didn't turn around to speak but Luke could see his cheeks move and knew he was grinning.

"Liar," Luke bit back.

"When do I ever lie?" Reid asked, turning to fork the pancakes onto two plates. They were still keeping a distance but it wasn't forced or awkward, it was almost domestic and normal but it was obvious.

They fell into silence as they ate their food, still both standing at the counter. Neither really felt the need to sit down or move. They talked lightly about Reid's day at work, Luke realising he only had an hour and a half left, and Reid was insistant that he wanted to make sure Luke took his tablets. Luke simply rolled his eyes. As they finished and Reid had piled their plates in the sink, Luke made a start towards Reid's room. He felt a hand grasp his arm and turned. Reid, still looking as handsomely dishevelled as earlier, let his intense eyes fix themselves onto Luke's. Luke's breathing stuttered again and he leaned into Reid's personal space.

"I want you to stay tonight."

Luke was sure he was going to collapse as his legs turned to jelly and his stomach fluttered with all kinds of loveliness. "You always get what you want?" he asked, full of a new sort of confidence. He could feel himself swaying flirtily. He looked up at Reid under his eyelashes and waited for an answer.

"All...of...the...time," was Reid's response, inbetween deep but soft kisses. Luke's eyes drifted closed as he squirmed under Reid's touch. He could feel a hand push itself under the material of his t-shirt, warm and gentle. He had no idea Dr Reid Oliver could be like this. A small and unavoidable noise escaped Luke's lips as he had to cling onto the bottom of Reid's t-shirt to stay standing. He melted into the kiss, tasting pancakes and syrup, and giggled as Reid slid his tongue along his. It was at this point that Luke lost all grip on reality.

Katie stood in the hallway on her way to collect towels and smiled, her heart glowing warm as she watched the scene unfold in the lounge. She watched Reid imparticularly, recognising a smile she'd never seen before and a playful side she always knew existed. She took in Luke's giddy smile and boneless limbs and knew he was completely lost in the moment. She chuckled silently and grabbed two pink fluffy towels before disappearing into the bathroom to leave them to it.


	19. Chapter 19

******Author's Notes:  
****_Apologies if I got any details wrong about Luke's sporting past. I knew he was into sport and on the teams in school but not so much in OU so I took some liberties. It's kind of a parallel chapter to one previous but I wanted both experiences so...here it is! I hope you enjoy... can you tell I was tired and in the need of a cuddle when I wrote this?  
Also- I'm VERY British so I'm sorry if I sometimes get my Americanisms wrong! Forgive me. :)_****  
**

"Look at you all smiley," Katie sang. She'd been watching Reid all evening. When he'd made his 7pm sandwich he'd whistled a happy tune, when he'd helped with Jacob he'd done so without snarky complaint and when he came to sitting down to watch a movie with her, he'd left the cushions well alone and stretched out his arm happily.

"Mmmmhmmmm," he replied. He sat working on the table, his papers spread out messily, with a pen tucked behind his ear. She liked to watch him concentrate as he always seemed so peaceful- Reid Oliver rarely did serene but engrossed in his journals and notes, he was a happy man. Every few seconds his phone would vibrate and Katie, sitting happily reading on the couch, sneakily glanced out of the corner of her eye to watch him. He'd click a button on his phone, it'd light up, his eyes would scan for a second and there'd either be a smile or a chuckle responsible for lighting up his face. She'd keep her eyes on him as he replied, pausing every few seconds to consider his words, and marvel at the new man she lived with. What the hell had Luke done to him?

...

Reid's phone was going to break. It was in shock from the overuse. Reid wasn't one to use his cell for anything but work and the necessities but he was learning rapidly that Luke Snyder was somewhat of a twelve year old girl. Not that it came as a huge shock to him what with his youthful smile, his sunshine personality, his twisty hair-do he liked so much and his general sparkling view of the world. He was a flirt. A serious serious flirt and Reid loved it. He'd never gone for anyone like Luke before. His first crush was a beefy kind of guy who smelled of strong cologne and who walked like John Wayne, the second object of his affections was a well mannered young man who enjoyed the odd game of chess but who Reid discovered had less than two brain cells to rub together and finally, the last guy he considered to be anything remotely noteworthy was Sam, a sporty med-student with dark curls and long eyelashes and who did things to Reid he didn't think physically possible. Characteristics that other guys seemed to also find attractive, leading to Sam taking his eyelashes off to greener pastures. Christ, Reid thought, as if they weren't enough of a mixed bag. He never thought he'd be swooning like a teenager over a twisty haired blonde farm-boy who had more money in his back pocket than Simon Cowell did in his entire bank account, who had the command of a private jet and a family of lunatics and who had, like a puppet master, single handedly dictated Reid's very reason for landing in Oakhell- town of idiots. Fuck, I must really like him, Reid mused.

Reid's phone buzzed again. He popped his pen behind his ear again and clicked to open it.

_Is it normal for me to feel sick and nauseous? I'm shakey when I walk too. Just asking... and 3 is a heart by the way, old man. xx_

Reid felt his heart lift and clench simultaneously. No it was not normal for Luke to feel like that. By this point, the nausea and sickness should have disappeared and he should only feel, from Reid's past experience, a mixture of fatigue, rawness and be generally quite fragile- nothing too serious. Reid had spent two nights sleeping in the same bed as Luke and he'd been a touch wobbly but, for the most part, ok. He didn't even think before he acted. He threw his pen on the table, grabbed his cell and reached for his jacket.

Katie watched this unfold. "You ok?"

Reid frowned but nodded reassuringly. "Yea, just off to endure the Snyder hell-hole. Medical stuff."

"Oh god is Luke alright?"

Reid made more reassuring gestures as he made his way to the door. He wasn't about to let his worry show, he had to be Doctor Oliver right now. "He will be," was his parting comment as the door closed behind him.

...

Luke didn't keep very much inside. His very thoughts, feelings and emotions typically poured out of his mouth and drenched everyone in a near radius. He knew he was sensitive and was well aware of his nature, which was why, lying exhausted in loose cotton pants and a faded white Oakdale University t-shirt, he felt very un-Luke. He'd lied to his parents and kept his feelings to himself. He didn't want to worry anyone. He felt his phone buzz and as he read the text message, sighed in relief.

_On my way. Keep your mother away from the door. You love the age difference kiddo, don't pretend otherwise. R x_

Luke laughter was cut short by a loud banging from downstairs. Knowing Lily was reading Natalie a story and Faith was out, god knows where, Luke staggered slightly down the stairs and opened the door.

"Hey," he said with a smile brighter than the sun eventhough he felt like hell.

"Wow. You look green," Reid mused, with a twisted frown.

"Oh charming, you look nice too."

"I always look good, you know that," Reid said, flashing a wide sarcastic smile, "so, where's Mrs Whatever-her-surname-is?"

"You mean my mom?" Luke asked with a glare. Reid went to answer but was interrupted by the pitter patter of feet.

"Doctor Reid!" Ethan shouted, running haphazardly into the lounge and stopping instantly at Reid's feet.

Luke witnessed Reid tense and could almost see the cogs turning in his brain as he tried to prepare himself and think before he spoke. "Ethan Snyder!" he shouted back and held out his hand. It was all Luke could do to stop himself spluttering like a mad man but his eyes widened in a humourous kind of shock when Ethan reached out, took Reid's hand and shook it.

"How do you do?" the little boy asked.

"Very well," Reid answered, his eyes glinting with amusement as he peered down at the little hand in his.

As their mock pleasantries ended, Ethan reverted back to form. "How many today Doctor Reid?" he asked, clapping his hands in anticipation.

"Only one today but it was a serious one," Reid replied. His voice was slower, Luke guessed it was so that Ethan understood, and steeped in seriousness.

"Wow! Is she in heaven now?" Ethan asked. Reid laughed, short and sharp, then composed himself.

"No she's not, she's still in the hospital. She'll be fine."

Ethan turned to Luke and tugged on the material of his pants. "Luke, why is Doctor Reid here? Are you sick again?"

Luke leaned down to Ethan's height and tucked a stray strand of brown hair behind his little ear. "No, I'm not sick," he said with an affectionate grin which Reid knew was forced, "Doctor Oliver just came to visit."

"Me?" Ethan gasped, his face lighting up like Christmas. Reid smiled genuinely. Standing watching them both, he could barely stop himself as they were so in tune. Reid could see signs of adoration in the very way that Ethan held onto Luke's wrist and the way Luke nuzzled his finger against Ethan's cheek as he explained that Reid was here as a vist for both of them. Luke threw an apologetic look over his shoulder and took Ethan through to what Reid presumed was the TV room to watch a DVD. Of course, he thought, of course they'd have a TV room.

When Luke returned, Reid could see the odd twinge to his brow and the glazed look in his eyes. "You need sleep," Reid said forcefully.

"Yes Doctor," Luke replied with a half hearted smile. Reid proceeded to follow Luke upstairs and into his bedroom with a careful hand on his back.

"Where are your blankets?" Reid asked as Luke positioned himself in the centre of his bed. Luke couldn't help but find the entire situation utterly surreal. Reid Oliver in his bedroom.

"It's fine Reid, I'm ok. Sit down," he begged. Luke's energy reserves were waning and he did not want a carbon copy of Lily, he wanted company and reassurance not fuss. Reid seemed to understand. He felt a little uncomfortable knowing that the door was open and any second a Snyder could walk past- especially as that Snyder could be Lily Whateverhernameis and, although grateful for him treating Luke in hospital, he was certain given a chance she would castrate him with a smile. Noah was her blue eyed boy and there was nobody ever going to knock him off his pedestal. Reid didn't give a damn, he wasn't out to impress or become the next honourary Snyder- he was here for Luke, Luke is all that mattered.

They sat like that for while, Reid on the edge of the bed and Luke sprawled out on his back staring up. Reid had asked every question relevant for Luke's diagnosis and was quite sure that Luke's new found state was a direct result of his anti-biotics and their unfortunate side-effects. He'd explained to Luke that he'd pass the case to Bob or another competent doctor in the morning to relieve himself of the back lash of possibly dating a patient. Luke had agreed easily.

Reid glanced at his watch to find it was nearing 10pm. "I should be going," he decided, "so you can get some sleep." Luke sat up then and instantly regretted the speed at which he'd moved. His hand flew to his back and he grimaced in pain. Reid was there in seconds, his arm supporting Luke's back as he lowered him back onto the pillow. "Well that was stupid," Reid accused. He sat back down on the bed and felt his arm twitch. He ached to reach out to properly comfort Luke, to stroke his cheek, to wrap his arm around him or to simply let Luke lie across him but for some reason he couldn't.

Luke spoke with his eyes closed. "I don't want you to leave."

"I'm sensing de ja vu," Reid said with a smile just as Luke's eye flickered open and stared up at him.

"I've got an old t-shirt you can have too you know?"

"Old t-shirts? Surely Mama wouldn't allow such ragamuffin clothing," Reid teased and received a punch to his leg in return.

"Go have a look smart ass, they're in the top drawer."

Reid walked over and pulled it open. The drawer was stuffed full of old basketball jerseys and baseball kits. He spied a grey t-shirt and unfolded it with a tilt to his head, reading out loud. "Oakdale University First Team." Reid was shocked. He didn't have Luke down as the physical sporty type and certainly not first team material.

"Not just a pretty face," Luke stated. He was grinning now but Reid could still see the strain in his face and the bags under his eyes. He could barely stand it. Reid understood himself enough to know that any feelings he posessed were placed under lock and key unless fully accepted, then and only then were they allowed to rise to the surface. He protected himself and always had done, which was why, looking at Luke and knowing what they'd shared together- the good and the bad- he was so certain he'd do anything to make him happy, anything to protect him and anything to keep him around. Feelings, the nice kind, were something unique to Reid and taken incredibly seriously.

"Ok I'll stay but I swear if Mother hen finds me in here I'll be missing some vital organs and I'll hold you entirely responsible."

Luke laughed and pulled back the covers, shuffling himself underneath them mindful of his sore back and aching limbs. Reid didn't know what to do next. Luke pulled the chord to his lamp and the room went dark so Reid took his chance to change. He unbuttoned his shirt and pulled on Luke's t-shirt as he kicked off his shoes; next he unzipped his jeans, leaving them in the centre of the carpet and was left standing in only his boxers. He didn't know if Luke was watching, he guessed he was, but something made him laugh.

"What?" Luke whispered into the dark.

"This. All of this. Not so long ago I was sitting in a hotel room in Chicago drinking my way through a bottle of whisky watching The GodFather on cable after a day spent bored senseless listening to a guy half my age preach to me about something I could have taught him with my eyes closed and now..."

"Now...what?"

Reid took a breath. "Now I'm standing in the dark in your old college t-shirt about to crawl into bed with you when your mother is no doubt brushing her teeth in the next room completely oblivious to the fact there's a devilishly handsome and world renowned neurosurgeon next door in his boxers", he explained, lingering a little on the final details.

"I'm not complaining so quit talking and get the hell over here," Luke demanded, his voice laced with a hint of wanton.

"You, Mr Snyder, are spoiled."

"Reid. Shut up."

Reid tiptoed across the room, careful not to sound any creaky floorboards, and climbed up into Luke's bed. The first thing he felt was Luke's cold arm against his knee as he pushed himself under the sheets. He'd soon put a stop to that.

"How do you feel?" he asked as he shuffled to get comfortable, "and don't pretend to me, you know I'll be able to tell if you're lying."

"My head hurts, my back aches and I feel dizzy and cold," Luke mumbled, his head finding a resting place against Reid's shoulder. Luke had zero energy and barely even managed to move across the bed to Reid but the warmth drew him near.

Reid spoke gently into Luke's hair. "You'll be fine tomorrow," he said as he allowed himself to lift his hand to Luke's forehead and feel his temperature then gingerly placed the same hand tenderly on Luke's cheek. Luke's weary eyes looked up under heavy lids as he sighed a contented sigh. He just stared at Reid, stared because he felt so cared for and protected and it had all been achieved with such little effort and fuss. He knew Reid would be there and knew he had nothing to worry about. The warmth from his body wrapped Luke up like a blanket and comforted him soothingly. He let his body relax completely and felt his eyes drift closed, sending him into a deep sleep.

Reid watched as Luke's eyes closed and felt his breathing grow regular. He didn't know when it happened or how it happened and even if he realised at the time but somehow and quite miraculously, Reid's life had changed. He was sure he'd wake up at any given moment and realise he was still lonely in Dallas with a life of stark contrasts, cold empty nights and work, only work. Now he felt closer to whole than he had for a long, long time.


	20. Chapter 20

**Author's Notes:  
**_This is quite a long one. It does have a little reference to an earlier chapter which those who have read it all, should remember. Wanted to make sure I got it in there!  
Hope you enjoy! :)_

Luke shuffled comfortably under the warm duvet and stuck out his leg into the cool air. As he shivvered, pulling it back in, he realised there was a distinct lack of Reid next to him. As he rubbed his puffy eyes he noticed a small post-it note placed on top of his folded t-shirt.

_Morning_

_Had early rounds and didn't want to wake you. Text me if you need anything._

_R x_

_PS: You're staying at mine tonight...if you want to._

Luke dropped the note and fell back into bed with an enormous grin. As his hands clutched the bed covers and pulled them up over his face, he jostled around full of excitement. Why don't others get to see this side of Reid Oliver, he wondered, it's their loss.

He dragged himself out of bed and spent the morning slowly but surely getting dressed and making tea, finally settling on the sofa with his mug. He really didn't feel himself. His head thumped and joints ached but the most affecting thing was the nausea he felt at every step and with every breath.

"Morning!" Holden called, suddenly appearing in the doorway.

"Hey Dad," Luke replied. He took a deep breath and tried to look chirpy.

Holden checked the pile of post by the door then took a seat next to Luke. "How are you feeling today?"

"Ok, I mean I'm tired but I'm good."

Holden nodded, seemingly unconvinced. "So, erm you've been spending a lot of time with that Doctor Oliver, we've hardly seen you," Holden stated.

Luke glanced up at his dad with wide eyes. He didn't know where the question came from but he always knew Holden would listen and would never judge him so Luke told the truth. "Yea, I guess I have been."

"Do you like him?"

Luke couldn't help but let a smile cross his face. He tried to hide it, he really did, but it was inevitable and Luke's body gave away his secrets before he had time to tell them to stop. "He was so good to me when I was in hospital and I guess... I mean, yea I do. I really do Dad."

The corners of Holden's mouth twinged and he broke into a smile. As he spoke he patted Luke on the back. "He was good to you and I'll be forever grateful for that. If he makes you happy, I guess that's all that matters. You two do seem very different though."

Luke grinned again, fully aware of the odd couple they made up. "We are. I think that's what I like about it though dad. Noah and I were so similar and eventhough we had our slight difference, I think we both were at risk of settling and things becoming stagnant. I loved him, I really did but with Reid it's different and...it's kinda exciting. I always feel alive when I'm with him." Luke blushed and continued. "He comes across as arrogant, rude, sharp and kind of unfeeling but that's not the real him. He's spikey and sarcastic but he's also warm and underneath is kinda a big teddy bear...I mean, ok I'm going to be quiet now because I'm starting to sound like a twelve year old."

Luke could feel himself rambling with a woozy grin and stopped himself. He didn't know exactly what was going on with Reid, didn't know if things were going to be permanent or what they truly felt because nothing had been said. It'd been a case of intense passion and strong feelings leading to many spine tingling kisses and two very cute and cuddly nights in bed. Luke didn't know what was happening but he did know he really didn't want it to end.

Holden watched his son with a sense of calmness. Luke seemed happy and even if his life was not settled and routined and was seriously lacking in direction, Holden could feel a great sense of promise.

"Good. I'll not push it," Holden said with a fatherly understanding, "but you'll always be my boy so anything you need... I'm here."

Luke leaned in as his dad hugged him, patting his back again with strength and assurity. All was well.

Holden left after checking up on Natalie and Ethan, happily playing pretend games with their babysitter, and left Luke with some of Grandma Emma's specially made brownies and a tub of her churned ice cream. As Luke settle down with a bowl of it, his phone buzzed. Luke ate tiny spoonfuls between his words.

"Hey, this is Luke?"

"Hi, it's me, it's Reid."

Luke sat up straight and dropped his spoon in his dish. "Reid! Hi! You, um, you never call..."

"Well, you're an exception today," Reid muttered making Luke close his eyes with an exciteable smile, "and I wanted to let you know that Bob's put you on extra medication to combat the effect of the anti-biotics. He will be monitoring your progress and I'll be keeping my eye on you too." Luke could practically hear Reid's cheeky grin through the phone.

"Will you now?" Luke asked, flirting.

"Don't get cute Snyder," Reid snapped with an unique kind of affection, "anyway, you're coming to Katie's tonight because when the pharmacy bring your tablets in a few hours I want you to start the course immediately and I want to keep my eye on you."

Luke almost hugged the phone. "Yes, doctor."

"Ok, before you get all mushy I'm wanted, my beeper's going... come round later and you might want to bring something to occupy yourself, I've got work to do at some point." Luke rolled his eyes and shook his head, he knew Reid could be adoring and caring and shockingly affectionate but he still knew exactly how to ruin a perfectly lovely mood.

"Ok doctor, whatever you say. Go save lives then."

"See you late Luke."

"Bye Reid." With that, Luke hung up and sat still for a few seconds. He shocked himself at the reaction he still got to Reid's voice or even a few words passing between them. He had to steady himself. God you're pathetic, he thought, you only talked about tablets and medication and your heart rate's off the charts. He channeled his inner Reid and told himself to get a grip- his heart paid little to no attention.

...

Reid opened the door, stepped into the lounge, threw his keys on the table, shrugged off his jacket, which landed haphazardly on the couch, wandered towards the kitchen, opened the fridge, grabbed a beer, opened it, took a swig, placed it on the counter, re-opened the fridge, piled a mountain of ingedients in his arms and sat at the kitchen tablet to make a sandwich. It was a routine.

"You're home early," Katie called from inside Jacob's nursery.

"I can sew fast," Reid shouted back, infinitely pleased with himself.

Katie emerged from the room with a small orange plastic bag and a blue towel over her arm. Reid was beginning to learn about babies and knew exactly what disgusting stuff lurked in the bag.

He grimaced. "I'm so damn pleased I'm gay," he said.

Katie shot him a look steeped in 'you're not funny' and replied. "For a doctor you really are squeemish sometimes. Plus, gay men can have kids so you never know, there might be a little Reid Oliver protege in the future." She kept her eyes on Reid, desperate to his no doubt hilarious reaction.

"Jesus Christ no. Never. Urgh. Kids are terrifying. Babies are fine, they do as they're told and are pretty passive and are kinda cute when they're sleeping but kids...no way. They look at you funny and I swear they have evil in their eyes. No. Never will I ever adopt unless I'm promised the kid will stay under 1 year old." Reid's face was a picture- a mixture of disgust, shock and a dashing of genuine fear. Katie laughed and walked back into Jacob's room. "Luke's at the door my darling roommate!" she shouted as she retreated.

Reid craned his neck and saw the shadow infront of the glass door. He rose off the sofa, took a deep breath, as he always did when Luke was concerned, and opened the door. Luke smiled somewhat bashfully making Reid's head reel a little. How the hell does he does it? Reid wondered.

Reid reached out and took Luke's bag from him. Luke considered this to be a really sweet gesture.

"Got your new tablets?" Reid asked, walking to place Luke's bag by the couch and patting the seat next to him.

"Took my first two and I don't feel anything really, you think that's bad?" Luke asked, his face tight and eyes dark. These details did not go unnoticed by Reid.

Speaking as he rose from the couch, Reid consoled the only way he knew how. "Not bad, no. Luke you took two tablet, what? A few hours ago," Luke offered a small nod, "so nothing will happen yet. You have to be patient, I know that's impossible for you but just don't panic about it. Trust me."

"Because you're a doctor right?" Luke asked, the sparkle entering his eyes once again.

"Of course," Reid explained. He was in the kitchen now, pulling open the fridge and emptying it onto the table for the second time of the evening. "You hungry?" he asked Luke- it seemed more of a statement than a question.

"Not really. I did earlier but I ate some of Grandma's ice cream then felt worse so, I'm good thanks."

Reid didn't answer for a second and didn't move either. Eventually a frown developed on his brow and he shook his head. "Well, you will be once you see what I'm about to make you." Reid began cutting and opening, spreading and piling. Luke wanted to remain sitting, his legs were feeling slightly weak, but Reid's face was something he'd never seen before. What Reid was actually doing was blocked by the counter so he decided to get a closer look. As he pulled a chair from the kitchen table and sat close to Reid, Luke felt he was interrupting something.

"Do you want me to leave you alone together?" Luke asked, swallowing a laugh. Reid smirked and retained his occupied silence. Luke kept his eyes on Reid. He watched as he chopped tomatoes and layered them perfectly on top of shiney green lettuce. It was some sort of work of art. As Reid placed the top on the bun, Luke was sure he saw a proud nod. Insanity, Luke thought.

"I'll be offended if you don't eat it all," Reid stated firmly as he pushed the plate over the table. Luke didn't dispute his honesty. By the look on Reid's face, Luke was certain there may even be tears shed if he failed to appreciate the masterpiece.

Reid pulled out a chair and tucked himself into the table, propping his head up on his arm. Luke reached out and took hold of the sandwich, glanced at Reid to ensure he appreciated his effort and began eating.

Luke devoured every last crumb, much to Reid's amusement. His ego well and truly inflated, Reid watched as Luke's cheeks flushed. The heating in the house was on high, Luke was full and Reid made sure he drank tea afterwards. He felt himself about his early childhood when he'd ever been truly ill and his mother taught him all he knew about caring for people. 'Pineapple for colds' she'd always say and this was one of many small but effective pearls of wisdom she'd offered him over the years that had stayed with him for a long time and seeped into his work. He always cared, he always did the best for his patients but this wasn't anybody- this was Luke. Reid knew he'd pull out the big guns, even if it did make him look like some housewife on a power trip. He was also sure Katie was going to strangle him for the electricity use.

"Good?" Reid asked. Luke nodded enthusiastically and smiled.

"That. was. amazing," he stammered out, still chewing a little, "you didn't forget." Reid smiled and let it grow as big as his emotions demanded.

"I have a pretty sharp brain Mr Snyder," he teased, "I promised you an epic sandwich and I delivered, right?"

"Right," Luke agreed, biting his lip and shaking his head. Reid watched as Katie sneaked out of Jacob's nursery, signalling that she was staying quiet and going to her room. Reid was so grateful he couldn't explain. It was in moments like this that Reid let himself believe in stupid stuff like fate- he was so damn glad he'd met Katie and her kid.

...

The next few hours passed comfortably. Reid set up his work in the kitchen and prepared his list of journals to read and a specific area of research for a particularly important session in surgery the week after. He tucked his pen behind his ear, a habit he had inherited from his professor in med school, and glanced over at a very silent Luke. Reid had ensured Luke was at ease. He couldn't deny the fluttering of warmth he felt as he kept his eyes on the gorgeous blonde half lying on "his" couch in his jumper (Luke was still cold) scribbling away in some notebook. Luke looked serene. It fascinated Reid, someone who rarely felt that feeling.

"Oi Shakespeare?" Reid called.

Luke sighed a laugh and turned his head into the kitchen. "What?"

"What is it you write in that book of yours?" he asked, clearly incapable, for once, of focusing on his work.

Luke shuffled around on the couch to face Reid and tucked his pen inside his notebook. "Allsorts. I've always written. Recently I've written more, it helps," he explained with quite a concentration of emotion and honesty. He truly was an open book.

"I didn't know you wrote."

"Yea, I used to write a lot back in school and took classes in college. I wrote a few things for Noah too and it was...erm, sort of how we met I guess," Luke explained, slowing and skirting around the mention of Noah and the beginning of their relationship.

"How romantic," Reid teased, "so are you writing anything special now?"

Luke didn't want to hide himself or pull 'a Reid' and build his own defences but he felt exposed and vulnerable. Noah had known young Luke, Luke who was aiming for the stars and steadfastedly dedicated to attaining his aspirations and in turn, had witnessed Luke's fall from grace. The Luke that Reid knew was different. With a foundation and shipping company under his command, when he was well, Luke had let his passions fall by the way side. It was a mixture of internal conflict and requiring an outlet, spending inordinate amounts of time sitting in a hospital bed, feeling lousy and being away from responsibility that allowed Luke to feel able to be more of himself than he had for a long time.

"Nothing special I guess, just thoughts and some creative writing. I always get a bit lost when I begin and my pen almost moves by itself. It's nice."

Reid notices a tone to Luke's voice and glint in his eye. Reid noticed them because he was sure he showed the very same when he talked about the brain.

"So why didn't you pursue it?" Reid asked, now walking towards the sofa and squeezing onto the empty cushion by Luke's feet. "If you were so good, why did you not keep going with classes? I know you had that whole election fiasco but you could have still kept at it." Reid watched Luke's face travel through a list of emotions, obviously so raw and affecting. He wanted to reach out and stroke his cheek, to let him know he could talk. Hell, Reid felt he could spill his insides around Luke and that rarely happened, if ever at all.

Luke took a deep breath and glanced up. "I didn't feel like me," was all he said. Reid understood, hell he could have written the book on that feeling. Luke's feet, covered in black (noticeably expensive) socks, pushed slightly against Reid's thighs as he seemed to settle further into the couch. It felt good, very good. Reid didn't say another word as it was obvious Luke was done. He knew he'd bring it up again though, it was worth the push.

"You want another mug of tea?" he asked instead.

"Yum, that'd be nice, thank you," Luke said with a layer of warmth and domesticity. It was in that moment that he let his mind paint pictures, pictures of a possible future. Being an idealist, Luke coulnd't help himself. He liked the feeling he got when Reid acted like this, he loved it. He didn't want to leave these moments and revelled in the fluffy blanket of comfort and happiness he had wrapped around him when Reid was about and in this mood, not to mention the prickling heat of the intensity he felt whenever Reid stepped within a mile radius. He wondered if that's what being 'with' a handsome neurosurgeon felt like. Reid's words, from the kitchen again, interrupted his daydream.

"Feeling any better?"

Luke realised he did. He hadn't thought about sickness of dizziness or even the dull ache in his back for quite a few hours and even at Reid's mentioning it, Luke failed to pick up on anything significant.

Luke took the mug from Reid's hand and blew over the surface, enjoying the steam that tickled his cheek. "Didn't have you down as a tea guy," Luke observed as Reid settled back into his chair to work.

"There's a lot you don't know about me, Mr Snyder."

Luke didn't answer. He didn't have anything to say except 'I want to know everything. How you take your eggs, which side of the bed you prefer, what you look like under your scrubs, what you were like as a little boy, how you deal with the loss of a patient...'. Luke was gone, his brain swam and his eyes fought against his brain. He slid down the arm of the sofa and placed his book on the coffee table. His limbs were limp and full of lead, his head stuffed full of sawdust and legs non existent. Reid watched and observed, taking in every detail and knowing it was inevitable that Luke would fall asleep. The apartment was so stifling that he could barely stand it, Luke was shrouded in a sweater, a t-shirt and cotton pants with those stupid expensive socks and he'd drank more and eaten more every hour. Classic signs, Reid thought, classic signs of a body craving and calling out for freedom from a state it doesn't like.

Reid waited until Luke had been still for a definite period of time and gently walked over to the cupboard, pulled out a brown woolen blanket and draped it over Luke, tugging it to rest at his chest. He stood for a while, just simply watching Luke sleep to make sure he wasn't suffering at all and then drifted, on some sort of cloud of unexpected euphoria and an odd feeling of fullfilment, into his bedroom. The sleep he encountered that night was one he was sure he'd never experienced before. He fell into sleep, fell heavily but easily while in the knowledge that Luke was safe outside.

Fuck, he thought, I might be in stupid pathetic inconvenient love with Luke Snyder.


	21. Chapter 21

**Author's Notes:  
**_**Small Warning of swearing**- it's all Reid's fault!  
This is a mixture of a lot of things and kick starts the next step for the story...there is also a continuation of the party! I PRAY TO GOD ABOVE I got the characters down ok...I mean, you can play a bit with Natalie as she's hardly shown but Faith, Lily and ESPECIALLY Lucinda. My god if I wrote her OOC I'd cry! hahaha, she's my goddess ;)  
Anyway, please enjoy and excuse any minor mistakes. Masses of dialogue and an overactive brain...madness ensues! :) Feedback- good or bad- is appreciated as always!_

Luke was gone by the morning. Reid emerged from his room after dressing, grabbed his lunch and keys and left the house. It wasn't a shock that Luke wasn't there as Reid knew he'd made plans with his family but nevertheless, he'd left Reid's sweater folded neatly on the coffee table and a small sheet of paper ontop. This was becoming a habit.

_Morning,_

_Thank you so much...for everything._

_Family stuff today- sorry I had to leave._

_Have fun savings lives._

_Love Luke x_

'Love Luke'. Reid read that a few times while trying to quieten the samba of his heart. Nobody had ever really sent him messages like that, even as a youngster, he didn't receive Valentine's Cards or Christmas cards sending love. Yes, he had cards from his parents and some close family but they didn't count in the way that someone unrelated did; Luke was there by choice, he didn't have to write those things, he didn't have to be so caring and certainly didn't have to stick around but Reid, with a smile and a rush of joy, left the house for a day in the OR feeling so mind-blowingly lucky.

...

"Hey stranger," Faith said, shocking Luke and causing him to cling to the door like a toddler.

"God Faith, scare me much?" he snapped and took deep breaths. It was early morning and no where near his sister's rising time. Usually she was dragged, kicking and screaming, from her bed or clawed her way out in a foul mood around noon. "You just getting in?" Luke asked with a sarcastic smile.

"So funny Luke," she spat, "how about you? Where have you been all night? Staying with the geriatric?"

Luke could feel his blood boil a little. Faith really was turning out to be a little brat. "You really need to think before you speak, especially about people you know nothing about."

"Didn't know you had a thing for older guys."

"I'm not in the mood Faith, go talk to your brat pack or something because I really can't be bothered with you this morning." Luke's brow furrowed as he sank into the sofa beside her.

She shifted uncomfortably and watched as Luke closed his eyes and let his head fall onto the back of the couch. "I'm um, look, I didn't mean it like that," she started, "do you still feel awful?"

Luke hummed a reply and nodded slightly. His head was throbbing and he simply wanted to crawl into his bed and spend the entire day there without having to endure a Snyder family gathering. He adored his family but he was sure he'd strangle the Pope feeling as bad as he did. "What time does everyone get here?" he asked with a weak groan.

Faith sighed dramatically, "No idea. The only reason I'm sticking around is because Grandma Emma's cooking for us all. Lucky us, eh? Think Grandmother's coming too and Dad's bringing Molly so Mom will be glaring daggers. Uncle Jack might come too but Mom said she wasn't sure as there's some drama with Parker. Plus Aunt Meg is released and she's got Eliza for the day so she'll be the party's ticking time bomb. Oh it's going to be sooooo much fun," she sang bitterly.

Luke really wanted his bed then. "Oh great," he muttered with a wry laugh, "just exactly what I need when I feel like death."

Faith reached out her hand and patted her brother's shoulder. Luke opened his eyes and looked at her, sometimes she could be an angel but it was the devil in her that ruled out more often than not. "We'll have to stick together then?" she offered with an aplogetic glance.

"Yea, for the sake of our sanity," Luke said, nudging her shoulder with a smirk. He really appreciated her effort and in those moments, he really loved his sister.

...

"Doctor Oliver? Doctor Oliver! Doctor Oliver?"

Reid didn't turn around. The voice was high pitched, irritating and flustered- must be an intern. He kept at his business, checking the chart infront of him and marking off test dates with a biro. He suddenly felt a pat on his shoulder, purposeful and completely unwanted.

"Yes?" he asked without turning his head and void of any pleasantries.

"Doctor Oliver, I wanted to ask you about the patient who was discharged last week... Luke Snyder?"

Reid sprung to life and turned quickly. He blinked, took in the mass of tangled ginger locks and the shiney eyes- Nurse Rosie Dawes. Of course.

"Yes, and what about that particular patient?" Reid asked, retaining his composure and giving entirely nothing away.

"Well," she began with a jolt of excitement, her hands frenzied and gesturing, "as you know, I spent a lot of time with him and we really had fun together writing and talking about literature and our favourites novels. I read some of his work and it's beautiful and so when my friend Jayne told me about this course, I was so excited and have booked my holiday so I can go. I thought Luke might be interested. I mean, it costs a bomb, " Reid snorted but Rosie was lost in her own world to notice, "and it'd mean he'd have to go away for a few weeks but it's exactly what he's interested in and it's a great opportunity an-"

"Why, Nurse Dawes, have you abandoned your duties to come to rant at me about this?"

"Well, I erm, I suppose I erm, well," she stammered, her freckled cheeks glowing pink, "I know you spent time with Luke and you, erm, well, I guessed you might know where he lives so I can, um, go and visit him. We got on so well and I know he'd just love this."

Reid rolled his eyes. Luke "I can make friends in an empty room" Snyder strikes again, he thought. "That's classified information Nurse Dawes but you are on staff here and so can check yourself instead of bothering me when I'm obviously busy and very important. Yes?"

Rosie blushed a deeper shade of purple and fought to keep her eyes on the floor. Something in Reid changed in that second as he saw the effect he'd had on her over bubbly champagne cork kind of mood. Her reply was simply, "Yes Doctor Oliver."

He sighed and ducked his head to catch her eye. He fixed a practiced softness to his countenance and spoke with a more gentle lilt than his usual doctorly tone. "I shall, on this occassion, make an exception and deliver the news myself. I appreciate your duties extending beyond the minimal. It's commendable Nurse Dawes. Now if you'd like to return to Mr Davis in room 308, he has been making incesant noise all day." Reid snapped his head back to his charts but sneakily peeked at Rosie almost skipping away to resume her work. He clocked her smile and felt something odd- a twinge of warmth. Jesus, this is what being nice to the staff feels like, he contemplated.

"Doctor Oliver!" he heard another voice call.

He sighed heavily again, kept his eyes on the charts and felt irritation bubble immediately despite himself. "Go away. I'm busy!" he boomed and shared, with himself, a wry smile of enjoyment. Nurse Dawes was sweet and sensitive but he knew that voice and hated this particular intern's over intensified effort and sickening suck-up nature. He can sod off, he thought, it's my lunch and I've got a certain blonde to call.

...

"Sweetiepie, would you pass me the serving spoon, please?" Lily asked, signalling to Luke who stood across the counter at the farm. Emma had disappeared to check on Meg and had left Lily in charge as they were early. Nobody else had arrived except them and Luke was already tired. He plonked himself onto one of the wooden chairs around the table. He felt his arm itch as he picked at his rough shirt. He'd let Natalie, the birthday girl, pick out his outfit as he felt bad for spending so little time with her. She had gleefully played with his hair and tried to knot his tie. Luke had looked into her big blue eyes and known he'd suffer the entire day's hell, just for her. He was, however, regretting allowing her to dress him in a dark shirt, thin black and grey tie and fitted black trousers. He felt like he should be conducting interviews or chairing a board meeting not eating banoffee pie and playing pass the parcel. She'd said he looked like a movie star so he hadn't complained.

"Oh Lily, there's no need to use that, come here my darling," Emma called, ambling into the kitchen and taking the spoon from Lily's hand, tossing it to oneside and replacing it with something of her choice. Lily looked put out and backed away with a huff.

Things continued in such a manner for an hour or so. Holden and Molly arrived and distracted Emma with wedding talk- Lily had sunk into the shadows and then made her excuses to go and find Ethan. Lucinda had waltzed in fashionably late but still making her distinct presence felt and had chosen to sit by Luke. He was uncharacteristically silent and pale.

"So my darling, how are you?" she asked, firmly stroking his arm. He smiled, he couldn't help it around the Great Lucinda Walsh, and turned to face her.

"I'm doing ok Grandmother, I guess it just needs some time. I've been a bit wobbly recently but Rei- Doctor Oliver...and Bob of course, have been amazing and they're taking care of me," he rushed, all too pointedly stumbling over Reid's name and blushing to boot.

"Ahha it seems I did well bringing a certain handsome doctor to Oakdale after all," she suggested, a twinkle in her sharp eyes.

Luke chuckled lightly, feeling his cheeks redden again, "I guess you did."

"Well," she began, "not that it matters, because sweetheart, you are a grown man, but I approve. In fact, I completely understand. There's something about a doctor, I think it's the hands," she added wistfully with a flirty wink.

"Grandmother!" Luke exclaimed with raised eyebrows, "Rei- Doctor Oliver happens to be a very well esteemed professional who takes his job very seriously and is a very competent and skilled surgeon."

"I bet that's not all he's skilled at, eh?" she said as she winked and nudged her grandson's arm. Luke laughed exasperatedly and shook his head.

"You are impossible," he stated with narrow but amused eyes and paused for a while before adding, "but you might be right." Lucinda laughed, loud and powerful but ever gracefully, and patted Luke's shoulder.

"Oh I bet...I bet," she repeated with a smile. Their secret words were interrupted by Ethan's cries.

...

Reid almost threw himself into the blue padded seat as he entered the on-call room. He reached for his cell and lunch box with a watering mouth- Katie had offered to make him a sandwich and she really was getting to be quite talented. As he unwrapped his sandwich with one hand, he began to phone Luke with the other.

"Hello there and who may I ask is calling?" was the answer when the phone stopped ringing. The voice was small, squeaky and definitely not Luke.

"Who is this?" Reid asked, trying to sound friendly.

"My mom said I wasn't to talk to strangers."

Reid pursed his lips and surpressed his reflex to scold or bite. This is a little girl, he chanted to himself, this is a small child, she means no harm, she's Luke's sister, she's Luke's sister, she's Luke's sister...

"Is Luke there please?" Reid tried again.

"I'm afraid he's busy at the moment." Reid laughed through irritation. He didn't know what the hell to say. Precocious little girls were glaringly not Reid's forte. He wondered then what Luke was like as a child, how he would have behaved and shook his head in bewilderment and shame as he realised that a little Luke would probably behave exactly the same, if not a tiny bit worse. Reid was beginning to grasp the Snyder way through default and some unfortunate personal experience. It was becoming increasingly obvious that Luke was a good mixture of his entire family. Fucking terrifying, Reid thought to himself, never do I want to be immersed in the Snyder insanity. He made a pledge in that moment to keep the hell away from them all, except Luke, for his own safety and well-being.

"Well, could you let him know that Rei-Doctor Oliver is on the phone," he rushed out and then considered himself for a moment before adding, "please?"

Reid listened in to the scene that unfolded. "Luke! Luuuuuke!"

"Yea Natalie?"

"I answered your cell and there's someone who wants to speak to you."

"Who is it Nat? Ask them who it is. Ethan's just dropped a juicebox all over Grandmother's handbag so I need to clean this up..."

Reid laughed to himself wondering what Luke was wearing, if he'd be laughing behind his Grandmother's back, who this grandmother was and if she'd be jovial or a little bit pissed off despite it being her grandchild and also how Luke felt and if, through the madness, he was holding out for his family and forcing himself to fight the pain or weariness.

"He said it's Reedoctoroliver. Do you know him?"

Reid rubbed his eyes and sighed. He heard Luke's laugh from a distance and the sound of doors opening, then footsteps and a muffled handling of the phone.

"Thanks Nat, go help Grandmother with Ethan, there's a good girl. I'll be back in a bit and we can play games. Sound good?" Luke spoke, holding the phone as his sister punched the air with excitement and ran out of the room. "Nice name," he started, now talking into the mouthpiece, "really exotic."

"The more I learn about your family, the more I understand you," Reid admitted, realising that at the sound of Luke's voice he'd eased comfortably into the chair and tilted his head to one side. His stomach flooded with those lovely feelings again.

"I'm taking that as a compliment, " Luke decided., his shoulders swaying flirtily despite him being alone in an empty room.

"It wasn't meant as one." Reid's voice was serious and monotone.

"Shut up and tell me why you rang me," Luke said through giggles. He realised then just how much he'd missed Reid eventhough they'd only seen eachother the previous night.

"Well, a particular nurse of mine has taken quite a shine to you. God knows why. She wanted me to pass on some information but I have a flyer and booklet to give to you and I knew we hadn't arranged anything so I-"

"Why don't you come here?" Luke asked quickly, getting it out and almost holding his breath with trepidation, "I mean, I'd really like it if you could, you could meet my family, well meet them properly. It's only Nat's birthday, there's games and noise and lots of other little ones running around so it's not exactly your cup of tea so I'd understand if you didn't want to come but I thought I'd ask anyway because you might want to, I mean you probably don't so-"

"Jesus Christ Luke breathe," Reid demanded with a chuckle, "and you say I'm the one that babbles." Reid felt giddy and touched that Luke really seemed as if he wanted him around- he wasn't at all sure when the last time was when he'd felt like that as most couldn't wait to see the back of him. As realisation washed over him and the reality of Luke's question sunk in, Reid felt his blood pressure sky rocket and his knuckles tighten around his cell- Snyders. Party. Kids. No way.

"Sorry, I thought I'd ask. It's really ok if you say no though," Luke added, a flurry of tension tugged at his stomach. He wanted Reid to come so badly but was painfully aware of his family and the pressure that would put Reid under. He could barely imagine Reid playing party games with Natalie or discussing soap operas with Emma Snyder- Reid hated small talk, he had admitted he wanted to strangle soap opera characters for spewing their insides all over the television screen and Reid was less than fond of little kids- maybe except Ethan. He's never going to come, Luke resigned to himself. "It's ok if you're busy too and if you're on call or something. Honestly. It's just a simple family party with food-"

"Food?" Reid's ears pricked up, "what kind of food?"

Luke chuckled softly, flicking his eyes to the heavens. Typical. "Grandma Emma's brownies, erm, she made banoffee pie for Natalie as it's her favourite, plenty of desert, homemade pastries, she made four different pies and a pot of her homemade chilli-"

"I'm on my way."


	22. Chapter 22

**Author's Notes**

_Writing Lucinda and Reid terrified me so I HOPE I managed to get it right, even a tiny bit! The next chapter is a little angstier and so this one is nice and fluffy to make up for it. Don't worry, all will be resolved. __**Warning again for language**. Reid had a lil bit of a filthy mouth- blame him! Hope you enjoy a bit of a change of scenery too, I liked writing outdoors, ha! Please enjoy and feedback is definitely appreciated! :)_

Reid was hovering. His could feel his skin burn and heart hammer in his chest. He stood outside of the porch at the Snyder farm and watched from a safe distance. He could see Luke with a small blonde haired girl in a pink dress sitting in a chair by a large wooden table. Luke was smiling and helping her unwrap a present with his arms wrapped around her waist. Reid watched as he laughed and kissed the top of her head. He was sure he'd walked onto the set of the Waltons. He didn't understand this kind of thing. Reid's childhood was loving but firm and he genuinely failed to remember, with the exception of his Grandma, a large family gathering or birthday parties. Reid had visited museums and exhibitions on his birthday with his father and could recall a happy day spent with his Grandma at the park but nothing quite like the image he saw before him.

A coifed blonde lady in a striking black suit with gold buttons stood holding a glass of something champagne coloured and surveyed the entire clan. She appeared to be esteemed- her stature gave her away immediately. Reid sighed and reminded himself to avoid her at all costs. Matriarchal figures terrified the hell out of him as generally they hated his sarcastic, smart ass guts. He saw Lily holding Ethan and smiled. That little kid was ok, he was forward and needed a grammer lesson or two but he was sweet. Next Reid saw Holden with some dark haired spelk of a woman and rolled his eyes hugely- another of the many fauners in Holden Snyder's wake. Damned typical. There was a cuddly old woman pottering about in a pinny and woolen cardigan who seemed to personify the word 'busy-body' yet Reid felt only warmth when he looked at her- she was clearly the Grandma he'd heard so much about and who he hoped was going to feed him. Food, he thought, there's food in there.

"Reid!"

He turned to see Luke holding open the door. The smile on his face was enough to create nuclear fission.

"You're kidding me right?" Reid asked disbelievingly as he signalled at the window, "I am not going in there."

Luke laughed and walked forward slowly. "Reid, they're harmless really and anyway, I invited you and they can go to hell if they don't like it."

Reid wondered how many times Luke Snyder had defied his family and saw something he didn't think existed- independence from the insanity. Luke could clearly see his world for what it was. Moments slotted together for Reid and painted a picture of a young boy who ran against the norm in many ways. A wave of affection sent Reid's head spiralling. Where in hell had Luke Snyder been all my life, he wondered.

"You mean that don't you?" Reid asked with a flirtatious smirk as he extended an arm to hold Luke's wrist. He pulled him closer, Luke's body melting forward, and caught his breath as Luke used his shoulders to lean up and dot a baby kiss, sweeter than honey, on his lips.

"Course I mean it," he whispered, his breath tickling Reid's cheek.

Reid couldn't function nevermind form words and simply enjoyed the closeness of Luke and his smell- sugar, soap and wood burning smoke. Reid had to hold back from licking his lips.

"Do you care that there's a scary looking monster of a woman glaring out the window at us?" Reid asked, suddenly stiff and fully snapped out of his Luke-induced daze.

"Not at all," Luke replied and leaned in wantingly to Reid's lips again. This time he didn't hold back. Luke's hands found themselves in Reid's hair, his arms tightening with an odd kind of desperation and his lips forcing Reid's to comply. Luke was sick of being so god damned ill and pathetic. He wanted heat, passion or something huge to just wake him up- snap him back to being himself and not a walking shadow. Kissing Reid with every remaining ounce of energy seemed to be doing the trick, especially as he could feel Reid succumbing to his every move.

"Luke, I don't think dry humping me in the yard is going to give the best first impression," Reid mumbled into their kiss as Luke laughed it off and leaned back, his hands still playing with strands of auburn hair.

"Don't care. I, um, I missed you," Luke admitted, feeling his cheeks flush. Reid ran his hands down Luke's shoulders and stopped when they reached his forearms- he held on tight.

"Has anyone ever told you how pathetically soppy you are?" Reid asked with a teasing grin.

"You love it Doctor Reid Oliver. You love every... single... soppy... thing," Luke said, planting small kisses on Reid's lips, chin, jaw and finally his nose, inbetween every word. Reid felt his head swim with lust and squirmed a little at the same odd tingly, stomach tightening ache he felt everytime Luke came near. Luke leaned back and smiled pure sunshine before clasping hold of Reid's hand and dragging him inside. "Breathe Reid, they don't bite," Luke reassured as they pushed the door open. Reid snorted sarcastically. Whatever.

Reid felt as if he had been thrown into the lion's den at feeding time. A sea of faces snapped in his direction, all expectant, bright and full of 'what the hell are you doing here?'. Luke, relaxed and amused, held tight to his wrist and signalled for him to sit at the table in the centre of the room. He went to let go and Reid grabbed his hand, lightening quick. "Don't you dare," he hissed quietly, "You are not leaving me alone." Luke chuckled in his ear and kissed the top of it.

"Reid, I'm only going to get you a beer. Chill out. Oh Grandmother, this is-"

"Aha the Great Doctor Oliver!"

Reid watched as the statue of a woman extended her hand for him to shake. He took it and felt her solid grip. He met her eyes and saw in them a glimmer of amusement teamed with a surety that Reid was sure was the essence of her character.

"That would be me," he added, feeling a fool for sounding so ridiculous, "and yourself?"

"Lucinda Walsh." She said it as if Reid should understand something, as if he should immediately know who she was and feel something in return.

"Good to meet you."

She sat in the chair beside him and let her eyes survey every inch of him. He wanted to laugh at her distinct lack of shame and smirked, despite himself. "I have heard a lot about you dear," she said, finally looking him in the eye. He squared his shoulders, suddenly beginning to appreciate the kind of person she was.

"All good I'm sure," he asserted, his eyes bright and alert.

"Oh plenty of good yes but you have quite a reputation," she stated with a kind of honesty Reid admired. This was a woman who didn't give a flying fig what anyone thought of her.

"That's what I like to hear."

"So, I also hear from Doctor Bob Hughes that you are the same same man who is championing their new revolutionary wing. I must say, I am impressed."

Reid nodded confidently and had entirely forgotten where he was or how reluctant he'd been to join the party. Lucinda Walsh was quite the character.

"That's correct and you have a right to be impressed Ms Walsh, it's a state of the art, stand alone, cutting edge neurosurgical establishment with large funding, situated in a town that time forgot. Anyone would be impressed with that."

Lucinda chuckled, haughty and a little booming, "Ah my dear, but you see that is the beauty of Oakdale, we appreciate what we get when we get it. We seem to have found you and we're keeping you."

Reid scoffed. "Even against my wishes at times."

Lucinda's laugh lifted and her eyes flickered to her grandson who was conveniently taking his time locating a beer bottle. "You underestimate us Doctor Oliver."

"Ms Walsh, I know to never underestimate the residents of this town. From what I've witnessed, that'd be a great error on my part," he replied with a hint of knowing and experience.

"And from what do you draw this conclusion?" she asked, leaning her head on her arm and holding her assertive eyes in place.

"I don't forget the name of the lady who invited me here or who was able to arrange an off the cuff meeting of the Texas Board of Medicine. This is first and foremost. Secondly, I can't skim over the reason I'm actually here in the first place- it seems that blackmail and an unique sort of kidnap is quite an accepted practice."

She smiled slowly and nodded. "Doctor Oliver, there is little I wouldn't do for my grandson and little he wouldn't do for the people he cares for."

"An admirable quality and one I support entirely," he added with an appreciative nod.

"I'm glad you agree seeing as you seem to be quite attached to him," she said with an air of protectiveness but seemingly passing her approval, "in more ways than one it seems," she added with a wink.

Reid had to laugh. She was marvellous. Lucinda reached out and patted Reid's hand with perfectly manicured fingers that Reid was sure had seen their fair share of wedding rings. She rose from her chair as Ethan ran towards her. Reid watched as she, despite him apparently spilling sticky juice all over her Chanel an hour before, beamed a smile and swept him up in her arms. She was formidable and striking but Reid saw a softness to her, a sense of humour she used cleverly and he knew he wouldn't mind attending any Snyder shindig in the future if Lucinda Walsh was going to be in attendance.

"Oh and Doctor Oliver?" she called over he shoulder, carrying Ethan who had just noticed Reid's presence and was waving madly, "I do hope to see more of you."

Reid nodded his agreement and grinned back at her. "The feeling is mutual Ms Walsh."

"You just tamed my grandmother," Luke whispered as he returned with a beer bottle.

"Did you ferment this yourself? Where the hell did you go?"

Luke giggled and shuffled his chair closer to Reid. "Seriously do you have any idea how difficult it is to win the approval of Lucinda Walsh?" Luke asked in awe. He let his hand lightly rest on Reid's arm.

"Oh she's a pussycat," Reid confirmed realising with amazement he hadn't breathed out since she'd departed.

"Anyway, now that you've impressed a member of Oakdale's royalty, I thought I would take you to the pond if you wanted to go?"

Reid felt his heart pitter patter again. A walk by a pond with Luke Snyder. He still didn't have any grasp on the relationship he had with Luke or any of the new and surprising experiences he'd had of late and knew he was going to have to go with it and say yes. The overwhelming sensation he felt in reoccuring patterns whenever Luke was on his radar was something he had decided to just let happen; he had no hold on his feelings, no idea how to verbalise his feelings and absolutely no clue what to do in any of the situations he was finding himself in. Each was new and each turned out to be completely mind blowing.

"Have I got a choice?" Reid asked, turning his gleaming eyes to Luke.

"Not even a hint of one."

...

"You own a pond. How does that not surprise me?" Reid breathed out into the fresh air as he stared, mouth open at the expanse of green and sparkling blue.

Luke giggled excitedly and skipped on the spot, dragging Reid's arm closer to the water's edge. Luke, now wearing blue board shorts, flip flops and a white t-shirt, looked positively angelic. Reid couldn't help but relish in his new found giddiness. He'd agreed to wear one of Luke's grey t-shirts instead of his scrub top but had drawn the line there and remained in his blue bottoms. He felt refreshed at the sound of the trickling water and had even flashed a smile at a tweeting bird. I'm turning into fucking Mary Poppins, he's thought to himself without an actual care in the world.

"Be quiet you and come here," Luke had insitied.

"Do you realise how bossy you are?" Reid asked, ambling down the small hill, his legs unable to keep up with Luke's skippiness. Reid had kept his eyes on Luke all day and had noticed small hints of a frown here and there and a white washed paleness that appeared every now and then but had witnessed no great reason for concern regarding his health. He felt much calmer for this fact.

"Oh you love it."

"You think I love everything," Reid said, throwing Luke a look of accusation.

"You don't?" Luke pouted, his blonde hair now even brighter in the sunshine. Reid blinked a couple of times and tried to memorize every detail. He'd never seen Luke look as ... well, he couldn't find a word and was afraid of the first one that came to his mind. He was fucking insanely beautiful.

Reid could feel himself blush a little and shook his head with a sigh. "What did you want to show me?" he asked, skimming over Luke's question. This didn't go unnoticed and Luke, in seconds, had his careful hands on Reid's hips and his lips puckering to kiss. He didn't move them but simply let them rest sweetly on Reid's for a few seconds. Reid's eyes fell closed and he visably melted into the moment. "You're going to need to warn me when you're going to do something like that," was what he finally said once he'd picked his brain off the floor. Luke's cheeky laugh rode on the breeze as he pulled Reid down to sit by the water. He spent the next half hour or so teaching Reid to skim stones and revelling in the fact that Reid was terrible at it.

It was pretty, Reid could admit that. The branches of the trees skimmed the water and loomed majestically over the landscape but nothing was intimidating- everything was at peace. Insects dipped gradually into the water and Reid even caught ripples made by fish, right in the middle of the pond. The sun was shining and air was cool despite the stifling heat. Reid's brain failed to recall a moment so steeped in calm and serenity in his recent past, in fact in his distant past.

"So, I said I had something to pass onto you," Reid said, breaking the easy silence. He turned to Luke who had dangled his feet in the water and who was leaning back on his elbows, face pointing to the sun and eyes closed. Reid wanted to ravish him and that was the single most poignant word he could muster to describe his inabilty to keep his hands to himself. To satisfy his urges, he let his fingertips trail patterns up and down Luke's arms, enjoying the way the tiny blonde hairs stood on end and the slight smattering of goosebumps that appeared.

"Hmmmmhmmm," was the reply. Reid kept talking.

"So you said that you liked to write and you gave up...for whatever reason... well, a certain red haired nurse passed on some information to me about a course. I did have a look at the information and it's highly thought of and very prestigious. I know you're in recovery from Pyelonephritis but you're doing well and it doesn't start for another week or so."

Luke opened his eyes and sat up to take in Reid's words. He hadn't stopped thinking about taking up writing again since he's split up with Noah and taken ill. He wanted to feel like Luke again, to rekindle his passion in life and to remember what it felt like to lose yourself entirely in creative thought.

"You researched it?" Luke asked, his face softening and full of a sweet sort of shock. Reid nodded.

"It's run by stuffy professors and in some pretentious red brick establishment but it seems something you'd like. It's pricey but you own a pond so I'm thinking you can foot the bill."

Luke playfully punched Reid's arm. "So where is this incredible course then?"

"London."

Luke choked on his own breath. "London? As in London, England?" Luke cried, his voice echoing over the water.

"You got an A in Geography didn't you?"

Luke laughed and rested his head on Reid's shoulder, his eyes shining with surprise. "How long for?"

"It's two weeks I think, judging by the course schedule but obviously you'd need to factor in travel time but that's not a problem seeing as you not only have a pond but you have a private jet," Reid winked and let himself, in a moment of abandon, kiss Luke's brow, lingering and passionate. Luke hummed a reply, closing his eyes. "So was that a yes?" Reid asked in a whisper.

Luke opened his eyes again and leaned back as he laced his fingers through the grass and pulled at odd strands. "You really think I should go?"

"It doesn't matter what I think Luke."

"Yes it does," Luke rushed out. His eyes fixed to the floor, Luke panicked a little and felt his heart stutter anxiously. "I mean, I dunno."

"Don't know what?"

"About us."

Reid pulled his knees up and wrapped his arms around them, laying his head down in Luke's direction. There was a noticeable distance between them now. "What about us?"

That was all Luke needed to hear. He felt his chest tighten and throat catch. He only sees this as some temporary thing, something that won't last. He felt sick and wobbly, his stomach churning and the pressure in his head intensifying. Reid noticed something was wrong, he could see Luke's brow wrinkle and eyes glaze over.

"I've got to go," Luke snapped. He dug his hands into the ground and lifted himself to stand.

"What? Luke!" Reid called out but Luke didn't respond. He kept walking, stamping his bare feet into the grass and raking his hand through his windswept hair. So stupid, so so stupid to even think he thought this was serious, Luke thought, how the hell did I let myself do this again? Stupid heart, stupid stupid heart, he yelled internally.

Reid sat in shock. He didn't know what he'd said or what he'd done wrong but was so sure he'd put his foot in it somehow. Too good to be true, he thought, shit, now what do I do? Reid was far from lingual in the language of relationships and even worse in the language of love so with another glance at Luke's retreating back, he threw himself back onto the grass, his eyes slamming closed, and tried to work out what the hell had just happened.


	23. Chapter 23

**Author's Notes:**  
_Sorry for the delay, I've been moving house! I can update regularly againnow. Slightly shorter. Full of angst, realisation and a good old dose of old fashioned straight talking romance. I hope you enjoy! Hope the ending isn't classed as out of character. It'll seem more Reid in the next chapter.  
You'll realise I like to write pouty, feisty Luke, tortured Reid and of course, lil Ethan, the gorgeous Katie Perretti and the god that is Holden Snyder. 3 Feedback is DEFINITELY appreciated!  
_

Reid kicked at the dirt under his feet and threw a stone into the pond, watching until the ripples died down. He hadn't left after thirty minutes of wondering what it was he'd said or done to cause Luke to leave. What was so wrong with suggesting a writing course in London and supporting the fact it was not his decision but Luke's alone? Not a thing, not a damned thing, he thought. He was ready to leave when he heard laughter behind him. As he turned his head, Ethan stumbled out of the bushes, removing his hands from his eyes shouting "Ready or not, I'm coming!". Reid started over to him in case he was alone and lost when long the path came Holden, crouched in an attempt to hide from his son.

"Doctor Reid! Doctor Reid!" Ethan shouted and let his stomping feet carry him down the hill.

"Hi Ethan," Reid offered, feeling amiable and lacking in any energy to act otherwise.

Holden made his way towards them with a wide smile. "Doctor Oliver, I didn't have you down as an outdoorsman."

Reid snorted a little. "No, I rarely venture out of dimly lit corridors and white wash rooms but Luke brought me here. I think it was his attempt to give me a break." Reid could hear his waning voice and the disappointed way he droned his words.

"Aha, Luke has a thing for this place. He's been coming here since he was a boy so it's a happy place for him. It's unsurprising he brought you here," Holden explained as Ethan, listening intently, grasped the material of Holden's trousers.

"Why do you say that?" Reid asked, kicking the dirt again. He felt dejected and couldn't stop sighing with each sentence.

Holden could see something was wrong, something in Reid's manner and the way he held himself. Usually a solid stature of confidence and self assurity was now a wilting and softer man with a crinkle to his brow.

"Luke always brings people he cares for here, it's a treat for him to show it off. He's very proud of the farm."

Reid felt his throat thicken at Holden's words. Luke cared about him. Yes, he knew Luke liked him judging by the spine tingling kisses he dished out and Reid was well aware that Luke would have potentially ripped his clothes off on the porch earlier that day but his heart was not prepared for true feelings. Reid didn't open his eyes much. An omniscient figure in the medical world he was, but in his personal life, Reid was well aware of his downfalls. He couldn't remember a time when it was someone else doing the chasing and acting as the interested party. Yes, he'd been approached in bars in med school and propositioned for a quickie in the toilets and such like but never had he been pursued. Nobody stuck around long enough to dig deeper.

Holden took Reid's silence as a hint to take Ethan back to the farm. "Well, Doctor Oliver, I guess I should put this little guy down for a nap, it's been a long and eventful day," Holden offered, reaching down to pick Ethan up, "but you are welcome at the farm anytime. It seems you have the sign of approval from Lucinda Walsh which is tantamount to a knighthood so consider yourself privileged." Holden spoke with sarcasm but Reid hinted a touch of honesty there.

"Please call me Reid."

Holden reached out to shake his hand which Reid took in an instant. Ethan laughed and threw his hand out. Reid chuckled and took the tiny hand in his, winking at Ethan as he shook it.

"How many today Doctor Reid?" he asked, an almost routine for them now.

"Two this morning Ethan," Reid said with a tinkling laugh that shocked, even him. Ethan's eyes widened with amazement as Holden scrubbed his hand over the little boy's head and signalled they were off home. They shared goodbyes and Reid was left alone again, now suddenly more determined to get to the bottom of Luke's mood than before.

….

"Hey stranger!" Katie called as Reid stepped in the door, slammed it behind him and threw himself down on the couch. "Ouch. You look awful."

Reid watched with a frown as Katie pulled her coat on and located her purse and keys. "You're abandoning me in my hour of need?" he whined with a pout.

"Stop being a baby," she demanded, her tone motherly and firm. Reid felt as if he'd been scolded and simply complied with her wish.

"Luke stormed off today. He won't speak to me. I have absolutely no flipping idea what I'm supposed to have done."

Katie stopped by the door, fastening Jacob in his stroller. "Have you tried to talk to him?"

"No."

She sighed and shook her head. "You know Reid, you may be a medical genius but you really have terrible common sense. I've told you before, be honest and talk."

"Kick a guy while he's down Katie and I know you did but this wasn't a case of not talking, this was a case of me talking and Luke not liking something I said."

"Well what did you say then?" she asked, treating Reid a little like an idiot. He brushed it off, he'd get her back later by leaving jars of condiments out or wet towels on his bed or refusing to watch Jacob. Plus, Katie Perretti-Snyder was just about the only person Reid was sure would entertain him in his desperate moments- the few that ever arose.

"Well, that course I told you about in London that that ginger nurse told me about?", Katie nodded, "I explained it to him, he seemed interested, he asked the location and the length of time he'd have to stay, I told him, he said something about us and I asked him why that was important. See! Just talking and then he had that kicked puppy look, got up and left me sitting by that pond like a loner."

Katie huffed and rolled her eyes. "So let me get this straight," she started, labouring her very pointed words, "you told him you thought it was a good idea he applied for this course in a country hundreds of miles away for a few weeks after he's recovering from quite a troubling illness and when he asked for validation of your relationship and a sign you might miss him a little you shrugged it off like he was nothing but a temporary distraction?"

Reid was silent. Katie was sure she could even hear the shiny cogs of his brain turning, slowly, but they were still moving. Come on, she thought, channel human thoughts.

"Oh shit," he said finally.

"Yes Reid, oh shit indeed. Now can I go and meet Margo now or do you have any other little problems you want me to work through?" she asked with a heavy inclination to sarcasm.

As she shut the door with a deliberate bang, Reid felt he'd woken up. How the hell did Luke not know how he felt? How did he know see the look in his eyes whenever Luke was around? How did he not feel the way he kissed him? How the hell did he not read into the time, effort and god damned soppiness that went into caring for him when he was so ill?

He then related his questions to Luke specifically. The same Luke who had just come out of quite a dysfunctional relationship which had began well but crumbled towards the end. The same Luke who seemed to be struggling with serious self image issues. The same Luke whose ex-boyfriend changed his mind as often as his socks and left Luke with serious emotional whiplash. The same Luke who was a member of a family with more relationship indiscretions than every moron who graced the pages of OK magazine or whatever crap idiots read in waiting rooms. The same Luke who Reid had grown to realise would do anything for anyone and literally, without question, give his heart.

You absolute fucking brainless moron, he screamed inwardly, Luke Snyder has your heart in a vice and all you have to say is 'What about us?'. Call yourself a neurosurgeon? Maybe you need to give yourself a serious check up to ensure there is still something located between your ears.

Reid stood up, still wearing Luke's t-shirt and his scrub bottoms, and reached for the door when the bell rang. His heart all but stopped with shock and coincidence. He opened the door slowly, half expecting it to be a joke.

"How could you say that?" Luke shouted, pushing the door open. Uh-oh, Reid's brain warned him.

"Look Luke-"

"No, you talk too damn much. My turn. I invited you to come to my home to meet my family properly and wanted to say thank you for everything you'd done for me by taking you to my favourite place in the world and then you have the audacity, the nerve to brush off everything… to just ignore…to… god Reid!" Luke paced the room, his hands balled into fists. He spat every word with venom.

Reid wanted to shush him, he wanted to reach out and hold him. An actual hug. Reid didn't hug. He snuggled, yes snuggling was allowed as bedtime and snuggling came hand in hand but hugging in daytime…no. Reid couldn't even remember his mother hugging him properly- she was a 'pat on the head' type. Reid, despite himself, was ready to break one of his own personal rules for Luke but he couldn't.

"Luke, can I j-"

"No," Luke shouted again as he glared at Reid, lips pouting a little, "I understand you thought the course was a good idea. I really appreciate that and it sounds incredible but I asked you about us. I asked you what it would mean if I went and you dismissed me like some inconvenience. I'm not your inconvenience and I told myself I'd never be played for a fool again because it hurts too damn much. I wanted you to simply say 'we'll be fine Luke, we'll see each other in two weeks' or 'it's ok Luke we can talk on the phone and text, you have to go it's an amazing opportunity' but no. What did you say, you heartless lump of stone? You shrugged me off."

Reid understood. Luke was being dramatic, overly dramatic in Snyder style, but every word he spoke was the truth. He could see Luke shaking. The veins in his arms were visible and his face showed the signs of a smattering of redness. Reid was sorry, so sorry, but scoured his brain for some sort of answer which never arose. Luke sighed loudly and threw himself down on the sofa with a thump. Reid could see his eyes were shinier than usual and he panicked, really and truly panicked that Luke was going to cry.

The silence deafened him and the tension in the air pierced his skin like a punishment for his complete lack of social skills. Reid felt his heart quicken and his stomach churn. He had never felt so lost, so incapable of thinking in an ordered and sensible way, and felt his mind clinging desperately to the routine he adhered to and the rigid life he once knew. Here, before him, sat the one reason he could no longer cling on. Luke had taken over his life and turned every last feeling, thought, emotion and opinion Reid had ever had, on its head. Reid felt desperation and want, passion and fear, affection and sadness now flooding through his body, taking over his soul and writing him a new rule book.

"I think I might be falling in love with you."


	24. Chapter 24

**Author's Notes:**  
**_This is full of dialogue and is quite a simple Chapter but one I think is quite necessary. They got into a bit of a whirlwind and now Luke's feeling a LITTLE better, he's not invincible...they're both still finding their feet. :) I don't think Luke's in the right place to deal with Reid's confession and I don't think Reid even knows how to BUT in the next chapter, it's dealt with! Hope you enjoy! _**  
**_ALSO-thank you for the LOVELY feedback (here, and in the other places I post!)- it's SOOOO appreciated!_**  
**_Feedback is appreciated in bucket loads...as always :)_**

"What?"

Reid panicked, really panicked. He felt his fingertips twitch and stomach bubble with anxiety. He cursed inwardly, his ever-changing mantra, and just stood there. He wasn't about to lessen the effect with a stuttered reply or a idiot's response, it wasn't his style, so he let the honesty settle and sink in.

"Reid you just said you loved me."

"I said I think I might be falling in love with you, there's a difference," Reid lied, feeling his blood pressure sky rocket and face tingle with anxiety.

"Not in my world!" Luke said, his voice laced with shock and frustration.

Reid sat down in silence. Luke was shaking, his eyes a little damp and brow crinkled in all the wrong places. This wasn't good.

"I called you a heartless lump of stone," Luke mumbled finally.

"Correct."

Luke lifted his eyes to Reid's and let them stay there. He couldn't form sensible sentences or anything to rival Reid's admission. He let his waning self esteem flood his body.

"I... I..." Luke stammered, completely unable to grasp a full word or reply.

"You what?" Reid asked. He allowed himself to pour his new found skill for affection into his words and felt the tension in his face slacken.

Luke let his face drop into his trembling hands and sighed with the weight of his troubles. He was exhausted.

"I am so sorry," he breathed out, his voice smothered by his hands that were acting as a temporary barrier for his sanity. Reid's intense stare penetrated Luke's soul, his skin prickling at the pressure and tension. "You don't deserve to be walked away from."

"Look," Reid started, reminding himself why they were in this predicament in the first place and finding it ridiculous, "I didn't think and you thought too much. That's it. Done." Their eyes caught again, unspoken words flowing between them and blanketing them with understanding. Defeated and small, Luke curled in on himself further. Reid couldn't stand it and it dawned on him how much rest and time Luke truly did need. He felt his heart ache as he realised he had to do the right thing - the right thing in Reid's world usually meant ending up alone and miserable. Oh well, he thought, lets not break the habit of a lifetime. He would put things right, stop Luke beating himself up over nothing, mentally scold himself for not recognising his own stupidity and keep distance between them until Luke was better- mentally and physically. It was clear it was all catching up on him.

Luke had different plans. His arms reacted separate to his body as he unfurled them from his own waist and wrapped tightly around Reid's neck, pulling himself a little off the sofa. His head found the nook between Reid's ear and shoulder; his eyes closed and mouth blew heavy hot breaths against Reid's neck. Reid shuddered and struggled to breathe in patterns. He, after a seconds hesitation, ran his hand up Luke's back and into his blonde hair, pulling Luke closer to him and allowing him to just rest there. Reid didn't care in that suffocating moment about their ridiculous misunderstanding about something and nothing. A sense of protectiveness set itself deep inside him and held close the knowledge that he'd do anything for Luke, anything he could and it scared him no end.

Reid spoke to clear the air and to just speak, to say anything to show Luke he wasn't alone and certainly wasn't in the wrong. "I think we can agree that the past few weeks have been… I think the only phrase that comes to mind is pretty fucking messed up, but there's one thing that rang true from day one … and that's how good we are." Reid swallowed, nervous from his more blunt expression of something resembling romance.

Reid felt Luke's eyelashes flutter on his shoulder and his head nod in agreement. "We are," Luke said in a whisper, a hint of a smile pressing itself into Reid's skin, "and that's why I can't believe I did that today."

"Look," Reid shushed, "forget about it. Maybe you've been used to people making a big deal out of things that are pretty damned insignificant in the grand scheme of things but with me, I just won't give it the time of day. It's not important. I'm an ass sometimes, we all are." Luke could hear the fondness to Reid's voice and caught his breath at the sheer brilliance of the words. He felt a layer of anxiety peel away.

Reid's hand ran gently through strands of blonde as he tracked Luke's heartbeat through their clothes.

"I don't think I feel like myself right now," Luke suddenly admitted in an almost inaudible voice.

Reid's brain did a double take. He got it. He understood more than he was sure Luke realised. He had a life in Dallas, a routine, a structure and an already planned reaction or resolution to anything that cropped up. He was safe in the knowledge that he'd established a way of life that existed one step ahead of the game. Oakdale was the ultimate game changer. He had little to no idea who he truly was anymore and if that wasn't troubling enough, he had the niggling suspicion that he felt more alive in the inbred land of dysfunction and incessant drama, the hometown of the likes of Henry Coleman and his closeted arm flailing theatrics, than at any point in his entire life.

"Join the club."

Luke leaned back then, not too far, and met Reid's eyes. "Why are you so understanding?" he asked, with genuine curiosity.

"Don't look at me like I'm some sort of saint. I get it Luke. I may be an incredible …well, I am an incredible doctor and have sparkling porspects as a male model due to my define jaw line and slim build but I am nowhere near perfect."

"I could have told you that," Luke rushed out before he could question his words. He smiled widely despite himself.

"Ahh the moper smiles. Maybe I'm closer to perfect than I thought. If I ever need extra cash maybe a career as a counseller, huh? What do you think?" Reid asked jokingly. His mind revelled in the speed of their ability to get back into sync. He mentally grasped for other ideas to keep that painted smile fixed in place, exactly where it should be.

"You're too honest to be a counsellor," Luke explained, his eyes less puffy and face smoother with a gradual amusement.

Their joke ended comfortably and silence reigned once more. The emptiness of Katie's lounge and the reality of their day together sneakily took over again and shook them out of their bubble of trust and understanding.

"How do you feel?" Reid asked, unsure about exactly which part of Luke he was referring to.

Luke didn't appear certain either. "Like an idiot."

"Yea well that's a given," Reid joked, avoiding a playful slap. They sat facing eachother once more, their faces relaxing with each second. Luke felt his brain clear and untangle a little, a short time with Reid and his honest delivery of some of the best reassuring lines he'd ever head had calmed and soothed him more than he'd ever encountered before. His mind sharpened suddenly, remembering one particular shining moment and opening the flood gates to another of the tingling aches he could barely deal with.

"You said you were falling in love with me," Luke hurried out, forgetting to take a breath, shoulders raised in tension and anticipation and the look of a frightened rabbit.

Reid, stunned at the broken silence, felt he should correct Luke and let him know that he had just fallen a little more.

"Yes I did. I wondered when you were going to bring that up again." Reid realised in that moment how terrible his ability to feign a casual response. His lip curled microscopically but Luke knew Reid and that trace of a tiny smile was enough- more than that in fact.

"I'm bringing it up now." Luke said, his eyes flickering to stare up and under.

"I've noticed." Reid sat still, his very core aching to kiss Luke but forcibly keeping a painful distance. He felt every ounce of tension fighting for freedom. He wanted to get as close as possible, so close he could feel Luke's heart beat again- and more. He saw a flash of uncertainty in Luke's eyes and didn't like it.

"What is it?" he asked. Luke didn't reply immediately, instead he slotted his leg under him and appeared to get comfortable.

"I want you to know something," Luke said eventually, eyes locked, big and brown and looking deep into Reid's. Reid didn't speak, he just waited and gave Luke time. "I'm kind of frightened."

"Of what?" Reid asked, keeping his responses short and sweet.

"A lot of things," Luke replied. He ducked his head in almost a defensive mechanism which Reid also didn't like. Reid nudged Luke's leg with his hand and as those brown eyes found his, he found his own urging Luke to carry on.

Luke swallowed thickly and took an oddly nervous breath. He didn't know how Reid would react to what he was about to say. Luke thought to his family and his ability to talk to them about relationships and other quite personal subjects then let his mind wander to beyond his immediate family and struggled to find someone else he'd talk about his more serious issues with. Yes, he was open and made of clear glass for the most part, however, sitting infront of Reid, Luke felt as if Reid could bore into his soul - read every thought and scale every emotion. It was both petrifying and all encapsulating. He wanted to reach out again to close that distance but instead he found the courage to place his truth in Reid's hands.

He spoke of many things, mainly his less attractive moments, watching as Reid nodded without judgement. He touched upon the election scandal, being arrested for breaking and entering, the situation with Brian Wheatley and recounted the drinking again. Reid frowned as Luke spoke of his past kidney troubles. Talk then turned to Damian and his many influences upon Luke's life. Luke spoke of his worry that he would become like Damian and that he'd have no control over the inevitable. He expressed his fears about his illness, to which Reid had reacted vehemently and reached to pat Luke's hand in a swift but meaningful move. He then blushed a little as he explained his loneliness and how he craved human contact. Noah was mentioned a lot causing Reid to roll his eyes inwardly in dismay. Luke could feel his shoulders lightening and heart calming. Reid sat frozen to the spot.

He stopped for a few seconds and seemed to explain his outburst. "I wanted to tell you things that would make me make sense. I wanted you to know who I was and all about my past so that you could see me, the real me."

Reid shook his head a fraction in bewilderment. "Luke, I don't need to know about some grandaddy who stuck the lips on you or your penchant for impulsiveness and blackmail, which by the way I have first hand experience of, don't forget. I like to think I've got a pretty good grasp on the real you without it."

Luke had no words of reply. His heart, so full and grateful, shone in that moment as Reid ducked his head and smiled, trying to urge Luke to do the same. Luke couldn't help but comply.

"You should let people see this side of you," he said simply.

Reid chuckled and scrubbed his hand over his face. "Where's the fun in that?"

Luke laughed, smiled and as Reid's hand stroked a single line from his temple down to his jawline, he shook off his own stupidity, forgot Reid's and felt their relationship develop monumentally.

Reid's hand lingered, holding Luke's face, and slowly, delicately and with as much sappiness as he could channel, drew them both together in the sweetest kiss Reid was sure he'd ever experienced.

As the kiss ended, Luke's head reeled for a giddy minute or so. He eventually opened his eyes with a smile.

"Forget today?" he asked, shuffling forward a fraction, unable to be too far away.

"Forget today."


	25. Chapter 25

**_Author's Notes:_**

**_Again, so sorry for the delay. I've had SO much on- graduation, work, illness etc! ARGH! Got a few chapters for you though. Hope this makes up for the delay! This chapter was ridiculous fun to write :) Hope you enjoy! The next chapter is a little different and something fun :) Feedback is appreciated so much, as always!  
_**

**A WEEK LATER**

Reid toed open the door to his bedroom in loose black cotton lounge pants only, balancing a tray of two portions of sizzling bacon and toast with two glasses of orange juice. He stopped as soon as his eyes hit the bed.

He hadn't left Luke like that... surely not... he would have remembered. Hell, he'd have mentally tattooed it in his brain (he was sure he could find a way) for future times of need. Luke lay naked sprawled on his back, a white sheet covering his left leg and his modesty and only a tiny portion of his lower stomach. Reid's curse mantra kicked into play as he tried to place the tray down on the cabinet without dropping and making Luke move. No, Luke was not allowed to move.

"Hmmmmpppphhhffff," was the noise Luke made, his head shuffling slightly. Reid froze, mid tip-toe, and kept his eyes on Luke so as not to wake him abruptly. Reid knew exactly how Luke Snyder deserved to be woken up. He stepped noiselessly over to the edge of the bed, placed his right knee at Luke's side and the other at Luke's other side, stradling him carefully and sitting down lightly on his legs. Reid let his fingers tickle a sporadic trail up Luke's chest and back down again, stopping as he reached the sheet. Luke shuffled again as his heavy arm lifted to shield his eyes and rub his face out of sleep. As he glanced upwards and felt Reid's weight on him, a slow, lazy and amused smile took over his face, his eyes adjusting instantly.

"Morning," he muffled out, his words low and gravelly. Reid was sure morning-after Luke was the single sexiest thing he'd ever seen... and he'd looked in the mirror.

Reid didn't reply. Instead he leaned forward pressing feverish kisses up Luke's body until he reached his lips. He hovered, teasing pointedly, before gently pressing them down and relaxing into a kiss. Luke's arms were now round his neck and his exposed leg now wrapped itself to pull Reid tighter.

After an hour of Reid's special wake up call, they lay in bed eating cold bacon, reading Luke's course booklet. Luke lay tangled in the sheet but curled against Reid's chest. He wasn't thinking of the course, or London, or anything else but one thing. He smiled to himself and Reid felt its imprint in his skin.

"What's the smile for?" Reid asked, trying to catch Luke's eye.

"Just reliving," Luke sighed out dreamily, snuggling a little closer.

Reid chuckled. He would be lying if he said he'd paid an iota of attention to the booklet in his hand. His brain refused to multi-task and could only think of Luke's smell, the noises he'd made, the way his skin felt, his stamina, his hands and the way they'd grasped at his back, the way his hair felt in handfulls, the things he did with his tongue, his ability to pull off innocent and young alongside assured and demanding, the complete easiness of it all and how holy fucking insanely hot beyond supernova proportions sex with Luke Snyder had been.

"Reliving what exactly?" Reid teased, wanting Luke to say it first.

"You," was his reply. His mantra kicked in again as his heart hammered violently.

"Don't blame you."

Luke chuckled, his arm falling across Reid's chest diagonally, playing with the chord of his pants. Reid upped the level of cursing in his brain. It was all that was stopping him from locking the door and never letting Luke go... and it wasn't doing a great job at even that.

"It looks incredible doesn't it?" Luke muttered, tapping the brochure.

Reid nodded. "It does. You sure you can put up with all of the tea drinking and queuing and please and thank yous over there?"

"Reid, it's London not Mars."

"I know but you've lived in Oakhe- Oakdale your entire life, without going insane which deserves a medal in itself, but London is far away."

"It's for just over two weeks. I am sure I can handle it," Luke reassured, glancing up at Reid's searching eyes.

"Well, it's 9 am," Reid started, glancing at the alarm clock, "so you better get your butt into gear soon if you're going to catch your flight."

Luke felt an anxious wave of sadness spread through his body. He wanted to go, he knew it was a good move, he knew Reid was supportive, he knew his family considered it incredible and it was all planned and arranged. He just hadn't thought about how difficult saying goodbye to Reid, even for two and a half weeks, would be. They'd talked and worked through a lot in a week. Luke had experienced a few twinges of pain and discomfort from his condition but Reid had seen to it imediately. He had begun to feel as if pieces of him were slotting back together slowly. They'd spent as much time together as possible and even ventured out in public together, causing a few nudges and stares. Luke didn't care. He had a gorgeous world renowned neurosurgeon by his side. Screw rubber necked Oakdalians and their judgmental ways- Luke was happy.

"I want you to know how incredible last night was," Luke whispered, a little shy but completely honest.

Reid smirked and burrowed his nose into Luke's hair, throwing down the brochure on the floor by the bed.

"It was," he stated, his words drowned by Luke's lips intemittently kissing between sentences, his hands playing with the strands of hair at Reid's ear.

"I am so pleased we, I mean, I'm glad you weren't... what I mean is that I'm happy that we didn't rush into it as much as we both wanted to and I'm grateful."

Reid's hand stroked the bare skin at Luke's hip with the hand wrapped around him. "Grateful for what?"

Luke's eyes met Reid' nervously. "Being so... um, being good about me being a little, um, well, I mean, Noah and I never really-"

"Shut up," Reid said bluntly, his eyes full of sincerity and lips shushing Luke's stammering in an instant. "Two things. One... you think I honestly care about how little or how much experience you have? Don't even go there. For the record, you would never tell," Reid explained, winking cheekily, "and two... can we make a rule to never mention the 'N word' in bed? That'd be great."

Luke laughed into another kiss. "I mean it though. I was so scared of everything last week. I guess I still am in a way but last night... last night I didn't feel a single second of fear. Just you."

Reid didn't have a reply to that. He'd known sex to be wild and insane, quick and meaningless and on the odd few occassions, pretty nice but with Luke, he thought, with Luke it was mesmerising, indescribably passionate and something void of any fitting description. No word existed.

"I get it," Reid whispered into Luke's hair. Luke felt those butterflies again and nuzzled into Reid's body as his woozy brain tried to deal with romantic Reid. When he made an appearance, Luke had no reference for how to act. It sent him reeling. He was going to miss this.

...

Four hours later, Luke was flitting from room to room pulling odd belongings from cupboards and shouting a nonsensical stream of words.

"Passport. Oh I'd remember that. Nooooooo not those ones, stupid Luke. Ok got that. Alarm Clock, batteries, check. Remember to, ok yea got that. Reid, do I need a rain coat?"

Reid grinned and rolled his eyes. He'd been sitting in the Snyder lounge for a hour as Luke had his mini freak out. Luke had packed twice, had a colour coordinated list and was still asking inane questions like 'how many is too many when it comes to socks?'. Reid, if he was honest, wanted Luke to just leave and get on with it. Reid was nervous and he had no idea why. Luke leaving was good, it was exactly what he needed and it was the right thing to do but he couldn't help but struggle with an odd an unexplainabl worry plus a niggling self indulgent, selfish wish that Luke would just stay. You are pathetic, he mentally scolded himself, pull yourself the fuck together, it's two weeks.

They'd agreed they wouldn't go to the airport together. It was mainly Reid's idea. Awkward airport hugs and public goodbyes, he'd explained, were for losers.

"Ready! Rosie here yet?"

Luke looked incredible. Reid was still not used to this 'letting yourself feel' stuff and still usually either had to rely on his mantra or hold onto something- tightly. Luke, dressed in jeans, sneakers, polo shirt and black jacket, looked ready to take on the world. Reid took this all in but couldn't help letting his eyes linger on the still visible grey circles around his eyes. He told himself to stop worrying but Doctor Oliver ruled out and he couldn't hold back.

"Luke, listen. If you feel anything, I mean anything bad, I want you to call an ambulance and then call me. Ok? I mean it. Pain, discomfort, dizziness, fever, temperature, chills, uneasiness when you walk, dehydration...anything. I need you to promise me that." Reid was serious and Luke, as he spoke, saw a flicker of panic in his eyes. He stepped slowly towards Reid, his hands reaching out and closing tightly around his neck.

"I promise," he whispered. As they untwined, their eyes fixed together and words, unspoken, passed between them. Reid let his right hand stroke Luke's cheek, so light and feather-like. Luke closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against Reid's. He tried to cram his brain full of very detail and was sure he would write it all down on the plane.

A car horn beeped outside. Reid spoke, their eyes still closed and lost in the moment. "Have a fantastic time. Look after yourself. I'm not going to ask you to text or phone because you're going to be so busy doing all of these incredibly exciting things like having afternoon tea with the Queen. That's ok though. This is your time. You deserve it, but I'll just make your life living hell when you get back. Just warning you now."

Luke laughed thickly, his throat choking a little with emotion. Two weeks was nothing but it felt like a lifetime. "Reid?"

"Mhmmmm," he replied, his eyes opening and looking into Luke's.

"I love you. So much."

With that, he left.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter Twenty Six**

**Author's Notes: **

**_First of all, I'd REALLY advise reading this on my livejournal. It's a formatted chapter with pictures and MUCH better when you read it with all of the fonts and pictures intact. _****_The chapter is in 2 parts on there. THE LINKS ARE IN MY PROFILE. THERE ARE TWO PARTS. PLEASE VISIT THERE FIRST._******

**_This one is a little different. I had this idea from the very start and I've never had more fun writing a chapter ever! :D_**

**_I really hope you enjoy!_**

**_Sunday_**

"Has he landed yet?" Katie asked, carrying a drooling Jacob over to Reid and the couch.

Reid sat holding on to his Blackberry, waiting for Luke's text. They'd agreed that phonecalls would be expensive so they'd limited themselves to two per week. Reid had compromised on texting as Luke had been so persistant and well, cute about it all.

His phone buzzed.

I am officially here! It's raining, guess the raincoat came in useful after all. See, I told you so. Off to catch a 'taxi' now to my Bed and Breakfast! Look, I'm so British already!

Text you later. Love Luke x

PS: I meant what I said.

Reid smiled hugely, forgetting himself and the fact Katie was watching his every expression.

"So he did land," she said with a smirk, surveying Reid's sparkly eyes, full of relief.

"He's off to get a _taxi_ to his _Bed and Breakfast. _If he comes back talking like that twat Hugh Grant or whatever he's called, I swear to god we're over."

Katie rolled her eyes and tickled Jacob's chin. "Uncle Reid won't admit it," she said, making faces at the baby, "but he is crazy in love with our Luke and would love him regardless, huh? Yessss sweetheart, he would."

Reid groaned and pushed his phone into his pocket, leaving for his bedrom.

"Pay no attention kid, your mom's a weepy romantic. I'll make you into a proper man yet," he called as he retreated.

Reid sat down on his bed, pulled back out his phone, created a message file called "Luke" and saved his first message safely in there, grinning coyly as he did it.

...

Reid pulled the covers up to where his t-shirt ended and checked his phone for what felt like the millionth time in a matter of hours. For fucks sake, he shouted inwardly, put the fucking thing the fuck down. He knew he was ratty, he knew he was pathetic and he knew, above all, he was so preoccupied that he was sure he could barely get through the night without dreaming of Luke and wondering what he was doing. Shit, I need to grow a pair, he thought.

Buzz.

Are you there? In bed now. How was your day? I had THE most INCREDIBLE few hours. We all introduced ourselves. People thought it was cool I was from the US and tried to copy my accent. Rosie and I are sharing a floor here at The Potter's Inn. Reid this place is beautiful. I mean, BEAUTIFUL. Wish you could see it. The buildings are so old and incredible. I felt like I didn't breathe out the entire time I walked around. I'm renting a bike too- a BIKE with a BASKET. I feel like Shakespeare or Wordsworth... thank you so much, so so so much. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be here. Sweet dreams 3 Love Luke xxxxx

_Yes, I'm here. Ok, "The Potter's Inn"- sounds god awful, quaint and sugarcoated with flowered duvets and old ladies. You'd probably love that. Enjoy it Luke. R x_

_PS: What you said... before you left... ditto._

_PPS: Wear a helmet._

I'm climbing in to my flowery duvet as we speak :P Ass. It happens to be homely and the lady is seventy seven but is charming and made me my first cup of English tea. Yum. Altho I miss Java...and you.

Oh and I bought a helmet already. You want me to wear crash pads and a full body suit too?

_Now you're talking my language. Don't forget the safety lights and reflective jackets. She sounds... "delightful"... see I can be British. Anyway, how's the course? Written any masterpieces yet? R x_

Reid. A day. I've been here a day. I've barely had time to breathe.

I learned that we write one main piece of prose and study poetry and a specialist subject of our choice. I went to a famous fudge shop today and even went to mass in the cathedral. I bought you something too. It's a surprise. Getting tired now... Love Luke xx

_Course sounds exactly what you wanted. My present better be something edible. I'll let you go then._

_Night Luke, sleep well. R xxx_

_(Take your tablets.)_

Luke snapped his phone shut with a chuckle and pulled the feather-filled softness over him, wrapping his arms into it and sinking down comfortably. He read their texts again and drifted to sleep, arms tightly enveloping the blankets like an invisible body.

Monday

Reid slumped in the arm chair in the on call room and reached for his phone. Four hours in surgery and two painkillers later- he felt awful. Not in the mood.

**You have an MMS from Luke Snyder.**

****MISSING PICTURE- SEE LIVEJOURNAL****

Jealous? ENGLISH sandwiches :P They call it afternoon tea.

_I hate you. Then again, there's not enough meat. Just left OR, feeling rough- call as planned later? R x_

Can't wait. I've got so much to tell you. Just want to hear your voice 3 Luke xxxxx

PS: Because you could never hate me, you jerk, those sandwiches were INCREDIBLE.

Reid's mouth watered. He dropped his phone into his bag and tugged off his scrubs to change. He simply wanted to be back at Katie's, with company and drinking a beer. Something was irritating him, niggling at his thoughts and driving him to distraction but he couldn't quite place it. It still didn't stop a small smile tugging at his cheeks as he saved Luke's most recent message.

...

Luke had never been as cold in his entire life. He thought about Winter on the farm and his thick woollen jacket hanging in his bedroom. He then looked around at the frost glittering the grass and pavement and felt himself shudder- cold in England was a new level of freezing. He pulled his scarf higher and ducked his head in the icy breeze with a smile. It was all so poetic as he sauntered in the ever approaching darkness through stone walled streets with cobbles and tall amber lit lamps, feeling so enchanted but still so alien. He walked with purpose, intent on wrapping up warm in bed and calling Reid.

When he arrived back, he looked in on Rosie immediately. "Hey!" he called, leaning on her door frame, still wrapped in a million layers.

She laughed and put down her book. "Love the look you're going for dude, maybe you should try that one out on your handsome Doctor?"

Luke had told her. He had to. She'd pretty much guessed anyway but his swooning eyes as he checked his phone and the smirk that crossed his face whenever Reid was mentioned.

"You know, I think he'd like it," Luke said, eyebrows raised suggestively, "it's more to take off." He winked and left abruptly, feeling the anticipation of Reid's voice.

...

Later, in bed, Luke checked his phone.

**You have a picture message from Reid Oliver.**

****MISSING PICTURE- SEE LIVEJOURNAL****

_Suck on this, Snyder. The things I can do with my hands. _

I'm going to make it my personal mission to experience all of those 'things' Reid.

PS: Freud would have a field day with your oral fixation.

_Glad to hear it. It'll be my pleasure._

_PS: Don't you just know it._

Shut up texting and call me you weirdo 3

The phone rang. Luke all but dropped his phone off the bed as he fumbled excitedly to pick it up. He felt himself tense with a slight twinge of nerves.

"Hi!"

"You're the weirdo."

Luke chuckled and snuggled down into his covers, resting his head softly on his marshmallow-like pillow. He was content now.

"Nice to speak to you too."

Reid smiled and gripped his phone a tiny bit harder. He lay sprawled on his back in scrubs, aching from a long stint in surgery. Somehow Luke, even being hundreds of miles away, had a effect on his mood. He felt the tension subside.

"How are you? Have you taken your pills? " Reid asked seriously.

"I'm fine Doctor Oliver. I'm fine. Can you put my boyfriend back on please? I'd like to talk to him."

"Hilarious. I mean it, know it all, you need to take care of yourself. I explained what could happen. Just as long as you are looking after yourself." Reid skipped the 'boyfriend' part, he had said it hadn't he?

Luke reassured he was and found himself hugging his phone, reeling from Reid's protective words and how sincere they sounded eventhough he'd ignored the 'B' ord. Luke could all but see Reid's face in his mind's eye and smiled knowing his brow would be as strong and smooth as iron, eyes piercing blue and sharp and lips pouted a little but solid. Beyond that exterior, he saw the Reid that most weren't luck enough to- the honest, loyal, witty, intelligent, caring, brilliant, gentle man.

"I miss you."

"Luke it's been two days. You're in England. You're drinking tea and eating pretentious sandwiches with new people, in new places. You can't and shouldn't be missing me." Reid was truthful. He was quite sure that Luke's mind was on anything but Oakhell and him.

"Why not? Don't even say that. I think... I think about you all of the time."

"Well, I guess I can hardly blame you if I'm honest." Reid chuckled.

"Aha there he is. That's the guy I left back in Oakdale."

Reid, still holding the phone steadily, walked and talked as he changed, preparing for bed. He took Luke with him as he went.

"So, how was today?" Reid asked, wrestling off his garishly blue pants.

Luke took a deep breath. "I love it here. We spent a session looking at the poet William Blake who blew my mind and we were assigned a discussion and critical analysis group for when we begin our individual pieces. I met a girl called Isabelle and two guys, Seb and Danny. They're awesome. Seb invited us, during our downtime, to visit his family home and Isabelle has promised me that she'll take me to a place called Stratford where Shakespeare lived. I have no idea how much time I'll have to do this but I'm going to try. You were so right. I really needed this." Reid felt a pang of jealousy. His heart stung a little. What have I got to offer him, he wondered, I knew this would happen, it's what should happen, Luke deserves to find out what's out there. "Reid? You there?"

"Yes. I'm here." Reid didn't want to sound like a petulant teenager.

"How was your day? How's Katie? Tell me everything."

Reid was now washed and splayed out again on the bed. He grinned appreciatively, his skin warming as he felt Luke's compassion even from overseas.

"Just the usual. Gave the interns grief and saved lives. Nothing quite as exciting as your day. Invitations to family homes eh? You going to shack up with 'Seb' and raise perky blonde British brats?"

Luke choked a giggle. "You are an idiot. Firstly, I don't want the basics about your day, I want you to talk to me. Secondly, Seb is a good guy with a very beautiful girlfriend. Touch of the green eyed monster much?"

Reid snorted. Not fucking likely, he cursed mentally. Intent on changing the subject, Reid fought his knee jerk reaction to snap and smoothed his sharp edges with a sigh.

"So, you're enjoying it?"

"I love it. I feel, I don't know, just... lighter," Luke added lightly.

Reid grinned and felt a little of his tension and moodiness subside. Lying alone and rested with Luke's voice playing out in his ear, he felt something spark inside of him. Reid had never allowed himself the luxury of giving in, of becoming comfortable and of settling. 'No man is an island', what a load of bullshit, he'd decided. He'd remained an island, detached from the world him in every conceivable way but one- through his work. This was his tether to humanity and the way of the world but now, lying in Oakdale in a house with a new best friend, her baby son and with a guy purring in his ear about how much he missed you and thanked you and making oh so incredible noises... he felt a connection form and his resolve weaken. Reid Oliver was definitely not an island anymore.

"I miss you too." There he'd said it. He knew Luke would be dancing around and hugging his pillow like some girl in pigtails in a sickly teenage movie or smiling that smile that could give even the cutest puppy a run for it's money in the adorable department.

Luke bit his lip and giggled without sound. He grasped the phone and almost kissed it. He misses me, he misses me, he misses me, he sang over and over inwardly celebrating.

"I'm taping this phonecall and I'm going to send it to all of your interns to prove how much of a pussycat you are."

"You can shut your mouth Snyder. I'll lie."

"You can't deny concrete evidence."

"You're forgetting one thing, genius," Reid teased, enjoying the banter they had grown so used to.

"What's that?"

"I'm Reid Oliver."

Luke laughed, loud and hard. "God you head is enormous, matches your ego."

"That's not all it matches either," Reid added with a smirk, murmering seductively into the phone.

Luke giggled again, throwing himself back onto the bed with a gigantic smile and skipping heart. "Reid Oliver, you are impossible. Can you not just say you miss me without trying to think of a hundred ways to distract me from it or dismiss it? You can say these things, mean them and let it be."

"Where would be the fun in that?" Reid asked. His voice was now laced in a seriousness he reserved for moments outside of his comfort zone. He was a changed man in many ways but it wasn't as easy as Luke made it look and sometimes, a lot of times, Reid didn't even want to change.

"Just talk to me."

"I love you, I adore you, oh baby, oh darling," Reid drawled, his words seeped in sarcasm, "that better?"

". Oh god you're infuriating but..."

"What?"

A sneaky smile tugged at Luke's lips. "But I guess that's what I love about you."

Reid would have been sure his heart was going to stop if he didn't consider is medically impossible in such circumstances. He was speechless for the first time in a long time. How the hell does he do that, he wondered, just say it, mean it and make it sounds so delicious? Reid wished then that Luke's wasn't thousands of miles away. He wished he was close, very close and whispering those things in his ear because, the mood Reid fund himself in, could definitely be improved by the magic of Luke Snyder.

"You need to sleep." Luke rolled his eyes at Reid's words. Typical.

"I do and so do you. You sound wrung out."

"And some." Reid admitted with a groan, his hand raking through his hair awkwardly.

"Ok, so we're calling again in two days?"

"Two days, if you say so," Reid agreed with surety.

"Yes, I do say so and regardless of the time difference, you're going to hang up now, put away the medical journal I know is inches away from your bed, pull the covers up and sleep. Ok?" Reid chuckled affectionately but remained silent. "What?" Luke asked, not used to the lack of clever come back.

"Nothing," Reid reassured softly, "sleep well and look after yourself. I'm in surgery from ten but I'm free from early afternoon onwards. Hope you do more of the stuff you love."

Luke shuffled further under the bed covers, basking in the warmth of Reid's words. "Night Night Reid."

"Night, Luke."

With that, they both hung up. It was gentle and a parting drenched in understanding.

Reid's phone buzzed as he threw his journal onto the floor, pretending he wasn't following Luke's orders but deciding to do it himself.

What did that laugh mean? Sorry if I was pushy and if I was nagging you. I guess it comes naturally to me, I can hear you're exhausted. I just want to make sure you're looking after yourself. You don't do it enough. xxx

_I'm going to pretend you didn't just apoligize for caring. Never do that again. Not with me. _

Ok. Sorry 3 You're so... argh I don't know Reid, there's not a word for you. xxx

_Jesus Luke, quit the apologising. I can think of a few words for me ;) (did I do one of those 'hip-down-with-the-kids' signs right. Yes?)_

Perfect, grandad :P (there's a new one for you to learn!) You still didn't tell me why you laughed when I ordered you around xxx

_I laughed because it's one of the many reasons I love you too. R x_


	27. Chapter 27

**Author's Notes:**

_**Slightly shorter Chapter. This is something I always intended on writing from the beginning of the story and was always going to have Luke THERE but I liked this better. I want their time apart to be time to learn too. Lil bit on the angsty side but I hope you enjoy! I promise plenty of lovely mushy stuff next time :)**_

**Thursday**

Reid's hand were still shaking. He didn't know how long he'd sat in the side room with his head in his hands but judging by the shadows his limbs were casting on the carpet, he guessed it was a while. He didn't know how it could have gone so wrong, fallen apart so catastrophically. He blamed himself.

He sighed and ran his trembling hand through his slightly damp hair. The fucking broken air con, he cursed, hating it, blaming it for how crap he felt. He didn't want to speak to anyone. He simply wanted to throw on his jacket, find a dark seat in a gloomy bar and let his mood match the surroundings. He was an old hat at this, losing and dealing, losing and dealing but this wasn't any old case, this was one of those random cases that made you think of your own life and contemplate your very existence.

A young guy, around twenty two, died at Reid's hands from a brain tumour. He was a med student, graduation gown already ordered and parents bursting with pride. Reid had tried everything, twisted arms, fought procedure and then, in turn, fought death as the young guy slipped away and through Reid's skilled fingers. It hurt. Fucking hurt. Reid wasn't one to cry. If med school did anything for an aspiring young doctor, it aimed to toughen and introduce to reality and Reid had the starkest and most poineering mentor who lived to specialise in the 'fuck with the interns' policy. Reid was soon used to the truth of what being a doctor meant and further, what being a surgeon meant.

Reid sighed again, his throat raw from swallowing so deeply and not speaking for so long. His lips were dry and cracked, cheeks stiff and limbs tense. He sat and thought of Katie. He once admitted that he didn't understand the human heart- he meant it- and then Luke, like an inconvenient ray of sunshine complete with dimples to die for, came crashing into his life. He hadn't quite adjusted yet and still found his head reeling at every turn from bright rushes of emotion to solid defences designed to keep his brilliant mind secure from the mess of daily life. He wasn't sure which he preferred but he did know that it was growing increasingly more difficult to control his own thoughts and feelings. Luke. The name was explaination enough. He thought of the young man, the life he lost and the chances he would never have. As his heavy head met his cold, clammy hands, Reid drifted away.

Buzz.

**_Hi you. Still up for our phonecall later? I missed you today. Went to a museum in central London. I wanted you to see it- the science exhibitions. You would have babbled at me about anything and everything and I would have pretended to be interested while you tutted and frowned. Anyway, I guess I miss you a lot. Love Luke xxxxx_**

Reid couldn't bear to read the message again. His mind flooded with images of the young man, pale and broken, so hopelessly lost. He grabbed his jacket and let the door hit him on the way out. He didn't care.

...

He tossed his phone on the bar, the plastic scraping against wood. He didn't care about that either. Replying to Luke wasn't an option, not when all he could think of was how strangled his brain felt and how completely terrified he was now that he realised he had something to lose. He replaced the young man's face with Luke's and felt the panic rise in his throat. He knew fear well, the kind that floods you inside and out as you stand, scalpel in hand, with a life ticking away before you. The fear of losing somoene, of something you hold dear disappearing, was entirely a new and petrifying concept. He'd had nothing really to lose, nothing that he chose to have in his life and wanted so badly, until now.

By the time he got back to Katie's, woozy and inside's pickled, he landed in a lump on the bed. He grasped a pillow, tossing it on the floor, and lay his head on the flat mattress below him. He watched as his phone flashed again and again, forcing him to look. He eventually did and with a sharp intake of breath, listened to Luke's messages.

"Reid? You there? Call me when you get this."

"Is everything ok? I haven't heard from you today."

"If I said I'd bought you a present and yes it was edible, would you pick up the phone?"

"Reid for god's sake, answer your damn phone."

"I'm worried now. Seriously, please call me back. It's not like you to avoid my calls."

"Reid, have I done something? Are you mad at me? Please call me."

"Ok, I'm not going to bother you anymore. I don't understand. Two days without any contact. I get it. I don't understand but I get the hint."

Reid threw the phone into the corner of the room, balled up his fists and lay stiffly on his back until sleep overcame him.

...

"Reid? Hey, wake up." Reid's eyes stung. He pulled them open and shuffled, realising he was still in his clothes. Katie stood over him in her pjamas with a concerned look. "Are you ok? I heard you come in. You look terrible."

He mumbled a not so friendly reply and tossed himself back on his side. "Go away Katie."

"Yea, I thought you'd say that and you know me too well now to think I'd actually do as you say. Get up. Now."

She dragged his arms and pulled at his jacket. He let her. She sat him upright on the edge of the bed and watched as he stared into the carpet, his eyes dark and body defeated.

"I lost it."

Katie could see how upset he was and saw his shoulders slump further as he closed his eyes. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

She didn't expect him to answer any other way but knew he'd talk. He hadn't run from the room and told her where to go, he was still here, sitting and waiting for someone to try. "Too bad that I'm going nowhere till you do, huh?"

He let out a brief and breathy laugh. He didn't smile but it was a start. "I hate you," he muttered, shaking his head.

"Oh I know and I despise you too. Doesn't mean I'm going to drop it. Talk."

He glanced up at her. Her blonde hair shone in the darkness and he big round eyes were so saturated with compassion he didn't think he could stand it. "He was twenty two Katie."

"Oh Reid I'm sorry," she said after a second's silence, reaching out to lightly pat his knee.

"Not me you have to feel sorry for. His parents and sister and girlfriend..." He screwed his eyes shut and sighed roughly.

"I know and I understand that but you're only human for feeling the way you do."

He shifted uncomfortably. "Katie, I've gone through med school and years of practice and never before have I felt so fucking devestated." She didn't say anything. She didn't know if there was something she could say. Katie simply lay her hand on Reid's and let her shoulder find his. "I don't know what went wrong. I'm not so idiotic to think this is my fault. I did my best but my best wasn't good enough. He asked me about how I became a doctor, about how I got to be where I am and I waxed lyrical about the pros and the perks of saving lives. I didn't tell him about the pain when you lose a patient or the fucking heartache you feel when you wonder if you could have done something differently. He was young and now he's gone."

Katie felt a tear trickle down her cheek. "I understand," she whispered, grasping Reid's hand now. He held on too.

"God Katie, sorry. I know I'm an ass but I shouldn't be loading this on you."

She shook her head against his shoulder and lay it down to rest. "Don't be crazy. You're my friend."

Those words meant more to Reid than he could explain. He felt comforted, cared for and let some of the sharpness and pain ease. "Thanks for... you know, this."

She nodded quietly. "No problem," she mumbled sincerely, "have you spoken to Luke? He called here earlier and asked if you were ok."

"I think I've blown it."

She laughed then, ridiculous and inappropriate but it was inevitable. "Reid, you clearly have no idea how smitten our Luke is for you. God knows why, but you've simply had a misunderstanding, you haven't blown it."

He looked at her, eyes filled with confusion and fatigue. "Katie, I've ignored him for two days and cancelled his calls. I'm telling you, I've blown it."

"Why did you do that?" she asked, rubbing a tiny pattern on his knuckle. He sat rigidly against her.

"I don't know."

"Reid you know precisely why."

"I saw him," he whispered, closing his eyes tightly again., "I saw him when I looked at the young guy I told you about. When I looked at his family and friends, I saw their pain and loss. I could only see Luke and you and Jacob and my mom and dad but mainly Luke, over and over."

"Oh Reid," Katie breathed out, wrapping her soft hand entirely around his now.

Reid had started, he could barely stop. "He had one of those smiles, you know, those sickening smiles that ooze charm. Luke has one of those. I know all too well because it works on me, every fucking time. He had a sense of humour too, bit back at me a few times. He was kind and caring and had a good brain. It's so..."

"So... what?" she asked gently, noticing Reid's face flush and tighten.

"So... so unfair." He shocked even himself. He didn't deal in fairness and wishing and destiny and fate. They were fruitless, spirit-like phrases that meant nothing and allowed people to hold onto something that didn't exist or grasp onto an idea and life's what ifs. He hadn't allowed himself, until now. It was unfair. A young guy, so full of life and sparkling with it, was gone and dead so abruptly. His family left broken. Reid raked his hand over his face and almost growled with anger. He wanted Luke more than he ever thought possible.

"You need to call him," Katie said simply, "you need to call him, talk to him and be honest. Lord know we all know you're good at that."

He let his eyes track hers and nodded. "Thanks ... I mean, you're um, thanks Katie."

She smiled, slow and genuine, ran a tender line along the back of his hand and left the room.

Reid reached over to the dark corner and retrieved his phone, clicking a button to cast a piercing light into his face. He took a deep breath and called.

"Reid?" He could hear the desperation, the fear, the relief and the care all tangled together and delivered in one word.

"I'm sorry." He didn't think anything else matter but this one word and he meant it more than he could explain.

"Sorry for what?"

"For being a coward and for shutting you out. I had good reason but I'm still so sorry." Reid tugged his jacket off and lay back into the newly arranged pillows.

"Talk to me," Luke said and Reid obeyed.

...

Luke let the tears leave dark spots on his duvet and hugged it to him, pretending it was a certain someone. He attempted to form the right words, the words that would mean something and do something significant but he was no good. Reid needed someone who truly got it, who understood exactly but Luke had nothing to go off except knowing that when life was hard, he always had someone to turn to.

"I can't let it happen again. I've never let myself do this before, except for with Annie, and I can't do that again."

"You can't stifle yourself. You need to feel. It's part of being human."

"I don't think I've been wholly human for a long time, Luke."

Reid could barely stop the words tumbling from his mouth. It hurt but in almost a good way.

"I wish I was there," Luke said finally, clutching the phone to his ear in a desperate attempt to transfer the embrace thousands of miles.

"Wish you were too."

Luke felt the tears again. "I took my tablets, I've looked after myself exactly as you said." Luke didn't know why he said it but Reid did. He couldn't say how grateful he was.

"Good. That's good."

"Do you want to sleep now?" Luke asked, suddenly aware of the time difference.

Reid glanced down at his still clothed form and felt exhausted. "Guess so. It's only three am here." Luke laughed a little and Reid smiled. It was enough.

"Will you...um," Reid started then stopped. He felt pathetic even thinking about it.

"Ask me," Luke said with assurance.

"Will you just talk? To me?" Reid asked, feeling embarrassed, so fucking embarrassed that he even wanted it never mind, had to ask.

"Only if you try to sleep," Luke added, conditioning his actions for the sake of Reid's sanity. It was all he could do to help, being so far away.

"Ok. Just don't let up on the details."

"Even the mad passionate sex I had with Seb to create our perky blonde British babies?"

Reid laughed loudly and snuggled on his side. "Oh especially that," he answered, full of amusement, his heart quickening. He tucked the phone under his ear and shuffled down into the duvet as Luke's words wrapped him up and sent him softly to sleep.


	28. Chapter 28

**Author's Notes:**

_**AGAIN, Like Chapter 26, this has formatting that this site doesn't deal with. Please SEE MY PROFILE FOR THE LINK TO MY LIVEJOURNAL WHERE THE CHAPTER IS FORMATTED FOR TEXTS. THANK YOU!**_

_**This one seems a bit of a mixture. Basically, wanted some more insight to L+R's dynamic and also the way that Reid's developing because of the situation. Plus, I miss writing Reid and Katie :P**_

_**I wanted some nice stuff and some banter before the next few chapters as I'm afraid they're a little on the angsty (well, more dramatic) side. I have a definite direction and know exactly how the story's progressing so I can't wait for the next few chapters! Really hope you enjoy, sorry for the slight delay again... all bday celebrations are now over! :)**_

_**Feedback is VERY much appreciated and thank you for all of your incredible feedback so far!**_

**Monday**

"Your boyfriend is a neurosurgeon? A neurosurgeon!" Isabelle asked. Luke just smiled and nodded, pride in his eyes. "How on earth did you bag a neurosurgeon?"

Well, that was one question Luke didn't think anyone outside of Oakdale wanted answering, nevermind England. "I erm, we met, didn't really like eachother, we argued a lot... he's a bit of an ass at times, and I guess we spent more time together and realised we kinda suited eachother. He told me he liked me, made it obvious and then I caught up and realised he was pretty incredible too. Not many people see it though. Most people think he's a complete jerk."

He took a breath and laughed, not quite believing how much he'd said and how he'd said it.

"Wow," Isabelle gushed, "is he handsome?"

Luke chuckled at the way she phrased her question and then answered his way. "He's gorgeous."

"You lucky sod."

"Sod?"

"You lucky bugger."

"Bugger?"

She laughed and rolled her eyes. "Lost in translation are we?"

"Think so. So I'm a lucky bugger? I'll remember that one," he chuckled, fiddling with the hair at his ear. They sat, mugs in hand, in a small coffee shop with a large roaring fireplace and art covered walls. Luke felt rested as he roasted slowly by the open flames.

"Why are you in London then? So far away from said gorgeous medical genius jerk?"

Luke couldn't hold back an enormous laugh. He was going to use that one in the future. Reid would love it.

"I love to write and I haven't done it in far too long. Life got in the way." The far away look in Luke's eyes was enough to stifle Isabelle's probing.

They sat in a comfortable silence.

Buzz. Luke smiled the second he felt his phone. Isabelle glanced at his expression, recognising the universal 'I just got a text from someone I like' face.

"I'll leave you to him," she teased, patting his arm lightly and sliding out of her chair. With a small wave, she was gone.

Warning: tell anyone about/show anyone this message and you won't live to see your next birthday... I miss you. A lot.

Luke felt his heart pitter patter. His cheeks instantly flushed, not from the open fire but the rush of fuzziness that rolled around inside his stomach. Reid had said it quite a few times now but it wasn't even beginning to start to get old. His insides still fluttered as much now as ever. Maybe more.

What do you miss? xxxxxxx

Luke smirked as his finger hit send with a purposeful tap. He loved nothing more than to play on Reid's inability to speak anything but the truth, especially when it came to those brief shining moments of sappiness.

You are such a whore for compliments. I take it back.

Not so fast genius, it's out now. Spill. xxxxxxx

Shut up.

Tell me. xxxxxxxx

Reid grumbled into the fridge as he left his phone on the kitchen table. No way was he going to indulge Luke. He'd got an 'I miss you' full of spontanaeity and truth, what more did he want?

Tell me. xxxxxxxx

He threw bags of salad vegetables onto the table, covering his phone, followed by packs of meat and then finally a bag of buns. He sat down to prepare when his pile of greenery vibrated.

Tell me. Or I'll do this all night and drive you crazy. You know it will.

Reid knew alright. It was already bubbling away inside, that fight to keep part of himself private, secret, hidden and unspoken. He knows, Reid thought with a huff as he spread his mayonaisse, he knows exactly what I miss so he can go to hell if I'm spilling my guts via text message.

Ok. I'll tell you. Maybe then you'll tell me. First of all, your hair.

You miss my hair? Is it because it's so supreme to your ever changing fickle locks?

Shut up. You like my hair, you told me as you ran your fingers through it and whispered before kissing and nibbling my ear. Yea, that shut you up. Second, I miss your ass-hattery.

That's not a word.

PS: don't try to distract me with hair porn Snyder, two can play at that game.

It is. it sums you up perfectly.

PS: play away ;) xxxxxxxxxx

Third?

Who's the whore for compliments now?

Reid had forgotten his sandwich and didn't seem to feel hungry any longer. He remembered to breathe out, heart pounding as he typed. Reid considered himself difficult to put up with and had always felt a little sorry for any guy who'd shown an interest but Luke, well Luke was a different story all together. He likes it, Reid thought with a flabbergasted shake of the head, he finds my shit amusing and ... endearing. He shuddered. Luke couldn't be real.

Come on I told you, now you tell me.

No.

Luke laughed again. Typical.

You want to.

Wow. Congratulations on achieving the ability to mind read ... You're still wrong. Why would I want to?

Because you wouldn't have said it if you didn't have a reason.

He does have a point, Reid thought with an irritated frown, god he's infuriating. He changed tact.

I don't suffer from verbal diahorea like you.

God you're a charmer. No wonder I fell for someone with such a romantic heart. You say the sweetest things. xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Eventually you see sense and accept the truth. I'm amazing, what can I say?

TELL ME.

Someone getting a little bit angry?

TELL ME.

Reid sat back and continued with his sandwich, an enormous smile on his face and his eyes glowing with vibrancy. He loved this, completely loved it.

Luke laughed and growled, causing a few heads to turn in the tiny tea room. He felt exhausted and all he was attempting to do was to elicit a tiny morsel of romance from his boyfriend. He shook his head and leaned back against the chair, a steely determination locked in his eyes. Not. Giving. Up.

He proceeded to repeatedly send his last text message over and over until Reid caved. For Mr Technophobe, Luke knew it'd kill Reid and he'd have to reply.

Reid took a bite out of his finally prepared sandwich and let his eyes fall on his flashing cell. 64. Jesus Christ.

He got up and found himself plonked on the sofa, remote in hand, his eyes flickering every second to the phone on the table. He could feel the agitation, the little LED teasing him, and it was like Luke was in the room. Those puppy dog eyes glittering with 'oh you can't resist me' when all the while, underneath, there lies an unstoppable force prone to feisty outbursts, casual blackmail and a level of perseverance that Reid considered may verge on psychotic. I totally dig psychotic then, he admitted inwardly. Jesus fucking christ. He grabbed the phone, shut off the insanely distracting red light with a stab of his finger and punched the keys with a groan of submission, sweet submission.

Buzz.

It took Luke all of his restraint to stop himself from cheering, hands in the air and eyes to the sky. Reid Oliver is putty in my hands, he chimed, his inner monologue congratulating him for persisting and remembering the tactics for other moments of need...

I miss you, your stupid twisty hair (still fickle), having soda in the fridge, those dimples, that annoying way you look at me under your eyelids, your stupid know it all voice that hits pitches only dogs can hear, the way you call me an ass and mean it and the way you insist I snuggle like some sort of pet. There. Happy now?

Ps: I hate you.

Isabelle was right, I am a lucky bugger :D 3 xxxxxxxxxxx

WHAT?

...

**Wednesday**

Reid slung his stethoscope over his shoulders and stepped into the hospital corridoor. He surveyed his kingdom, breathing in the smell of latex and alcohol handrub, and gearing up for another long shift.

"Ahhh Reid you're early," Bob called, turning the corner, "very early actually. Why?"

Reid grabbed a chart and purposefully blanked Bob's eyes.

"Well Doctor Hughes, because I'm just that good to you I thought I'd take the weight off."

"Reid, you're on call. You're only pencilled in for a consult at two for an hour. Go home."

"Nice to see you too Bob," he stated, monotone and steeped in heavy sarcasm.

"Reid what do I have to do to get you to take a day off every once in a while?" Bob reached to pull the chart from Reid's hand. He stiffened at the intrusion and watched as he was manhandled.

"I'm a surgeon," he started, bemused, "I'm at work. For you. Saving lives. You'd think you'd be grateful."

Reid remained rigid knowing he'd been called out and dreading another session at the Bob Hughes' school of sweetness and light.

"Doctor Oliver, I am grateful for your continual effort and exceptional standards but I don't need you."

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?" Reid asked, all wide eyes and daggers.

"It means go home. Sleep the bags away from under your eyes, have a decent home cooked meal, take it easy and maybe come back to work when the first words out of your mouth are not immediately disposed to biting sarcasm. Agreed?"

"You do know you're talking to me, right?" Reid patronised, "You know, Doctor Hughes, people think you're this gentle older man, butter wouldn't melt, but it's just a big act isn't it?"

"Well, Doctor Oliver," Bob cooed with a smirk, "you would know all about that wouldn't you?"

"Do you miss anything?" Reid implored, irritated now.

"You don't get to be Chief of Staff by letting things go unnoticed Doctor Oliver. Now go home."

With that, Bob was gone leaving Reid standing child-like, mouth open like a goldfish.

...

Katie could hardly believe her ears and giggled to herself as she stood over Jacob's crib, folding blankets. "I never thought I'd see the day," she chuckled, flashing Reid a sparkly grin.

"Don't get clever, I just thought I'd take him off your hands as a thank you, you know... for what you did a few nights ago." Katie could see the sincerity in his eyes, no way was he faking it this time.

"Oh Reid you're such a cutie," she chimed, arms around his neck from the back of the couch and lip gloss coated lips pressing at his temple.

There's a reason I'm gay, he thought, smearing the sticky pink with the back of his hand. He contorted his face in exaggerated disgust. "Katie, I'm anything but cute," he groaned, "I've only offered to take your kid out to give you a break and to maybe prove to my whining Chief of Staff that I am capable of living outside his poor excuse for a hospital."

"By spending your free time with a baby?"

"Hey, I don't have to take him!"

She laughed, messing his hair. "Oh be quiet, of course you should take him. You sure you're up for it?"

Reid's eyes rolled so far back that they risked getting lost in their sockets. "Katie, I'm a neurosurgeon, I'm sure I can look after a small child for a matter of hours."

"Coming from the guy who can't do his own laundry and leaves mayonnaise out of the refrigerator to go bad. I think even Jacob beats you in the house training department." She nodded cleverly.

Reid frowned, his forehead wrinkling dramatically to match his beady eyes. Katie smiled lovingly, batting her mascara clad eyelashes.

"And anyway," Reid began, suddenly jumping back a few seconds, "I'm not cute, kittens are cute, puppies are cute. I'm neither. I'm rugged and manly."

It was the sheer sincerity again that were the catalyst to Katie's giggles, tinkling and infectious.

"Aww you keep telling yourself that sweetie."

Reid, feeling decidedly mocked, sunk into the couch, lips pouting involuntarily. "You not gone yet?"

Katie, almost skipping, slung her purse over her shoulder and headed for the door.

"Have fun with him. He's going to love spending time with his Uncle Reid. His bag's in his room and bottles are in the refrigerator next to your beer bottles so pleased don't get mixed up," she winked knowing he was hating every syllable, "I'll be back later. Let me know what you get up to and thanks Reid, you're the best."

He had to smile then. She waved her manicured fingers and flashed another winning smile before closing the door behind her.

Reid heaved himself off the couch with a glance around the empty lounge. It was deathly quiet- too quiet. Reid didn't like silence, he wasn't used to peaceful or serene. He lived a life of hectic and noisy, unable to deal when things got quiet because that usually meant he was alone. It was forever a wait until the next instalment of noise to drown out the deafening nothingness.

Skilled at being alone (plenty of practice), he felt an ache whenever he found himself solitary and silent. Outside work, Dallas proved good for three things- beer, take-out and getting lost in a crowd. Anonymous. Reid had enough prestige and notoriety in the medical world to last a lifetime.

Since Oakdale, silence was a little more akin to an alien concept. Reid's norm had altered, his axis shifting to something new, something strangely comforting and addictive. Wherever Reid went, he had company; whether it be listening to Katie pour her heart out or painfully sitting through the tales of the Doogie 'lap dog' Hughes, mentally scarring himself singing cheesy pop songs to the kid, Bob's fatherly mission statements at Memorial or, and Reid's heart quickened as images poured into his heart, spending the night with Luke Snyder. Even his nights were protected from silence now and although somewhat uncharacteristic, Reid found himself craving company eventhough he seemed to be entirely unable to accept or ask for it without it being forced upon him. Luke was good for that. Reid said no- Luke said yes. Reid said go- Luke said stay. It worked that way and it was with this thought that Reid, missing Luke intensely and cherishing his new life in a secret second, wandered into Jacob's room for a man-to-man chat.


	29. Chapter 29

**Author's Notes:  
**_**FIRSTLY, there are a few little texts in this one that look better formatted but there isn't a real need to link you to a formatted copy like Chapter 26 and 28!  
**__**This was a difficult chapter to write because there was so much I wasnted to get in and mention and it was difficult to structure. I still managed to get my little Reid/Jacob obsession in there though, ha! I hope it's ok to follow and don't worry if there are maybe a few things unresolved or not mentioned- they will be :)  
Hope you enjoy and DON'T HATE me... things will be fine :P Please excuse me for any mistakes I may have made! xxx  
**_

Luke gulped another mouthful of coffee and rubbed his stinging eyes. After nearly two weeks of being in England and studying intensively without the complexity of Oakdale University's politics and his past discretions, he felt good. Exhausted but whole- or more complete than when he arrived.

He missed home though. He'd even woken up and shocked himself one morning as he glanced around the bedroom in blind confusion. England was different but not too far fetched so that it was a shock to the system. He'd enjoyed the change and no doubt embarrassed himself taking photographs of red double decker buses but it had all been escapist- especially the writing.

Away from the shackles of family disfunction and the drama of Oakdale, Luke found his shoulders a little looser and mind a little clearer, mainly because its contents were being spilled onto paper on a daily basis. He'd written so much. The course coordinators commented on his writing and style saying it was 'full of heart', 'achingly honest', 'a touch of naivity met with a wealth of experience' and his personal favourite 'infused with passion'. That's how he felt...finally. He smiled, licking the caffeine from his lips, and glanced at the clock.

"Shit shit shit shit shit shit." Luke wasn't a swearer but it was called for. Rubbing his aching temples, he picked up his pen again and scribbled, the writing lump on his finger burning under the friction. Four hours. Four hours to go.

_Buzz._

**I know you're still awake. Sleep. R x**

Luke felt a lump in his throat. He wanted to see him, even for a second. Longest two weeks in history.

**I am asleep :P**

**Luke- those tablets you're on do not like tired bodies. Sleep. Now. R x**

Luke replied, ending with hearts and kisses, promising to sleep. He lied.

The end of course assignment was simple- write a creative piece centred around something that inspires you. They were all entered into a file and sent to a publisher's house in central London and considered for an internship placement. Luke wanted it. Badly. He didn't think he'd slept properly in three days but his muse was out in force and he just had to keep writing. After spending the night in a local restaurant with his other course mates and eating way too much, Luke's body was crying out for sleep, his eye twitching and back strained from sitting upright. He fought it, widening his unfocused eyes and getting down to work. Four hours until hand-in. It was 3am.

"We don't approve of this Jacob. Ok? Just you remember that. No matter how many times your mum tries to convince you that this is entertainment. It's not. We watch and we mock." Jacob gurgled on Reid's knee, his malleable neck swinging back and hitting his chest. "Yes that's right. You know what's good for you. Whether it's Grey's Anatomy or ER or whatever... what do we do?" Jacob giggled again, a line of drool dripping down his chin as he clasped Reid's fingers and bounced on the spot. "That's it! We watch and we mock. I knew we'd get along just great."

In the comfort of the dimly lit lounge, Reid sat with baby on lap and a small blue towel thrown over his shoulder. After a small disagreement with a bottle earlier, Reid's shirt was decorated with a white splat mark but everything else remained calm and orderly. Reid felt smug and awash with contentment. There was something about spending time with a baby alone that was soothing for the soul. The man to man conversation was hardly scintillating but Reid was, as much as it pained him to realise it, having fun. They'd scaled the very heights of neurosurgery, contemplated Jacob's many possible futures, dissected Reid's relationship with Luke so far, lightly touched upon the pain of losing a patient, discussed the highs and well, mainly the lows, of Katie's newfound attraction to Doogie Hughes. Reid had taken too much pleasure in noticing that Jacob giggled gleefully at the word 'Doogie'. Kid has his head screwed on, he concluded and had proceeded to discuss his route to med school.

Reid prised the remote from Jacob's sticky fingers and jabbed the button to get rid of Patrick Dempsey's face in a flash. Much better, he thought.

"So kiddo, it's getting late. You need... what do babies need before bed?"

Jacob lolled his head back again to meet Reid's chest and gazed into adult eyes, listening intently and smiling at every sound. He clutched still to Reid's fingers and steadied himself.

"Don't look at me like that... Cheeky," Reid teased with a nudge of the baby's chubby chin, "were going to get you ready. Come on or your mom will castrate me for keeping you up so late and that, my friend, would not be pretty. You can stop smiling. It'd be awful, you're a guy you can imagine."

Jacob squealed and squirmed in Reid's arms as they made their way chatting into the nursery. "If only your Uncle Luke could see us now. Can you imagine the smug face he'd have? I can. Disgusting. It's best he never finds out about our nights, ok?" Reid asked into Jacob's now horizontal face, half covered with a blanket as he kicked and played in his crib. "Of course, you're done with me. I know when I'm not wanted. Your blanket is now the most interesting thing in the world. Hey kid, enjoy it while you can. Sleep well germ breeder." With a quick smile and an affectionate caress of the baby's head, Reid left the nursery quietly and turned off the small blue lamp.

As he tidied the lounge (_Katie would only call him a messy teenager again if he didn't_) and prepared for bed, Reid checked his phone again. There were no texts or missed calls from Luke. At last, he thought, he gets the hint and goes to sleep.

With a smile, his mind wandering to a tucked up Luke Snyder, Reid cringed at his own blatant sentimentality and tiptoed into his room to scan a few journals before lights out.

...

"Morning handsome!"

Luke groaned and scrubbed his hand over his face. Rough didn't even begin to cover it.

"Morning Rosie. You can spare the handsome, I look-" Luke stopped mid sentence and rubbed a still bed-warm hand over his back. So unnecessary, he thought, stop hurting and let me have my day.

"Hey hey hey now. What's with the screwed up face? What's wrong?" Rosie placed a gentle palm on Luke's shoulder, rubbing soothingly.

Luke straightened again, tugging his bag over his arm and ironing out his face again. _Got to keep going._ "I'm good. Ignore me, I just hardly slept last night trying to finish this piece and I wanted it to be perfect. How about you?"

They walked in conversation down the creaking stairs of the dusty bed and breakfast and out into the cold air. By the time they reached the hall, both were a little nervous.

"So, who first?" Rosie asked, an excitable smirk on her face.

"I will be glad to hand this in and know that by tonight I'll be on a plane back to Oakdale to surprise Reid and smother him in kisses." Luke's cheeks flushed. They did that now when Reid's name was mentioned.

"Oh you're such a cutie pie aren't you?" she teased, pinching his cheeks as he flinched and laughed, "but are you certain you're talking about the same Reid? I don't see Doctor Oliver taking lightly to being smothered in kisses. Isn't he a little... I don't know..."

"Cold?" Luke asked sharply, prompting Rosie's reply.

Her eyebrows raised in surprised, she answered, "Well, yes."

"He's different. He'd say he hated it. He'd probably even protest but I know him. He secretly loves every second. I swear it's my stubbornness and persistence that got me anywhere. I owe it a lot." He laughed, letting his mind wander.

"Well, you're clearly the man for it. He even smiled at me the day before we left for England."

Luke giggled, imagining the pain it must have caused him. "Oh he gives a new meaning to the word complicated, that's for sure. It's strange though because when we're together... there's nothing simpler, nothing easier. I don't know. Anyway. We have our submissions to hand in."

Rosie blinked and frowned. "Ok right. Managed to distract ourselves there didn't we?" Luke nodded with a grin. It was easy to put off anything with motor-mouth Rosie Dawes.

"I'll see you out here afterwards." Luke asked, tugging at his scarf from his neck and straightening the paper inside the plastic folder. He suddenly felt exhausted, something pulled at his spine, dragging him down into the ground and forcing him to rest, to stop. He forced it to shut up. This was a possible internship at Random House or another incredible publisher. No way was some tired episode going to get in the way. He disconnected himself from his jelly legs – just nerves, he thought-, he shrugged off the pain in his lower back- those awful wooden chairs were not built for writers, he mused- and as he climbed the stone steps, he shook off the nausea in his stomach- that coffee binge was maybe a bad idea. He thought of his family as he continued, and how proud they'd be, how Lucinda would brag about it to her many contacts, how Lily's eyes would light up when she spoke about his future again, how Grandma Emma would throw her arms around him and whisper into his hair how proud she was and the way Holden's voice would sound when he said "my son"-full of pride and aspiration. It would be like old times. Reid crossed his mind. It wasn't rare for Luke to wonder why a genius neurosurgeon was so interested in a college drop out with no prospects and two jobs handed to him on a plate. He's going to leave when he realises I'm not that special, he concluded daily. This was at least something that might change things, keep him around. It was too long since he felt worthy of being respected and truly deserving of praise. He'd made mistakes and screwed up one too many times but this was something good, something so admirable and done entirely alone. It was a positive step ahead in a future that Luke felt was shaping up nicely. Fuelling that fiery passion again, Luke stepped through the large wooden door and sighed, reclaiming himself and heading to have a shot at securing a future.

...

Reid, whistling and secretly carrying a steaming caramel latte with all the trimmings disguised under a coffee lid, kicked open the on-call room door. He dressed slowly in scrubs and tucked his stethoscope lead into one pocket. I'm back at work, Luke is back tomorrow, my roommate owes me one, I slept well and I have four hours of detangling brains, Reid sang inwardly, this is going to be a good day.

"Aha, Reid, Morning."

"Bob. Now, can I stay today, am I safe to actually do my duties or do you want me to take the day off to go bake or feed ducks?" Reid's eyes danced playfully, sarcasm dripping in true trademark style.

"Such wonderful suggestions, maybe keep those options in mind next time you have a day off," Bob started with a wise smile, sitting in one of the blue seats by the door, "but no, you're present, correct and wanted in surgery in an hour. You're early but I'm hardly going to complain about that."

Reid laughed a little, stopped himself then took a seat opposite. "Good because the wrath you'd get wouldn't be pretty."

"Oh I can well imagine."

They fell into a comfortable silence, intermittently interrupted by slurps of coffee, the flutter of newspaper pages and the odd echo of machines down the hall. It was music to Reid Oliver's ears.

_Buzz._

**Incoming Call – Luke Snyder.**

Reid let a lazy smile tug at his lips. _He just couldn't wait before tomorrow, could he?_

"Well hello there Wordsworth, to what do I owe this distinct pleasure?"

"Doctor Oliver? Reid?"

The voice wasn't Luke's. It was frantic and sharp. Reid's heart quickened and his skin instantly paled.

"Who is this?"

"Doctor Oliver, it's Rosie. Nurse Dawes?"

"I know who you are. What is it?"

"Doctor Oliver, it's Luke... I think you should come right away."


	30. Chapter 30

Author's Notes:  
_Ok...few things to mention. This took a LOT of writing to sort it out...not even sure I'm happy with it but hey ho!  
First of all - because of my SHEER LACK of knowledge of the USA, thank you to the guys over at Facebook for helping me with location details. Please suspend disbelief for a little of it if it doesn't make sense to travel a certain way or if it'd take a longer amount of time- I'm clueless but it's FF... I'm bending the rules a bit ;)  
Secondly- the medical stuff is as spot on as I could get. I always intended a relapse- a short one. I never wanted Luke to come back to the US all happy and chirpy. No fun that way. He's fighting right now for a lot of things and I wanted to see that fight reach a pinicle. I think drinking yourself into a coffe induced stupour, writing your entire heart in a proposal (it WILL be mentioned in the future) and ending up in hospital has GOT to do it ;) Anywhere, Reid's there to help him now. Reid's on more of a slow burn learning curve :P His story's WAY more fun that way.  
Finally, the next chapter is fun schmooooopy stuff, I hope. After that there are a couple of chapters I've already written and they finally have a chance to do those normal things... to give all of the drama the big two fingers and just be THEM without illness, families, trips...anything :) I'm figuring it should end no later than chapter 40. Got a few other things thrown in... and then I've already written the final chapter so :)  
After THAT rant...I really hope you enjoy and I'll have the next chapter up as in the next 2 days. THANK YOU MILLIONS FOR THE LOVELY AMAZING FABULOUS feedback and well wishes. You guys are all incredible 3  
Please enjoy xxxxx__**  
**_

Reid was numb. The first thought he allowed himself, as he climbed into the cab, was of Bob. The gratitude and understanding. No questions asked, no words required and Reid was dismissed and with a reassuring smile too. Who the hell did that? Maybe he's a saint, Reid thought with a stoney face as the cab thundered through thick morning traffic.

Reid couldn't focus on one thing, his thoughts skipping and stuttering like an old broken record, landing haphazardly on something random, something obscure, something not completely wanted or necessary but that was ok. His stomach felt knotted, clenched in worry, his hands holding the hell out of the nook in the door.

"Business or pleasure?" the cab driver drawled in a lulling southern accent, knocking Reid of his trance.

Reid tensed. Not today. "I'm paying you to drive not to talk."

"Dude, my cab, my rules. You want the sidewalk?"

"You want to keep your job?"

The idiot shut up after that. Reid noticed his hands were now fists, balled so tight that they struggled to move. Rosie had repeated over and over that Luke was ok, he wasn't in any major danger but on the plane over he'd passed out and was brought round by the stewardesses who thought he was airsick. Rosie explained how she'd cooled him, forced him to sip water and monitored his heart rate for the remainder of the flight. She said he'd slept, badly through shortness of breath, but sleep nonetheless. As they landed, she spoke of how he'd made it to baggage claim sweating and heaving to breathe, before he collapsed again- this time it was serious. Reid knew how serious it could be.

_Luke. _Reid wanted to shout and accuse and hurt and hit. He didn't understand how to do this. He was the hero, the one on the other side waiting with scalpel or needle to write the body's wrongs. This time he was... What was he? Family? No. Friend. Ha. No. Boyfriend. Luke had said it, so...

Boyfriend. Reid felt sick. He didn't have a fucking clue. No idea how to stop thinking about the cold lifeless eyes of his former patients and seeing in them, swimming and bright, images of Luke taunting and mocking. Life is fragile, gentle and precious and Reid now, with the force of a thousand tonnes, felt it and felt it hard. He choked on his own thoughts and bit back a cry? A sob? A growl? A sigh? Acurse? All of the above.

"Stop here."

"You know I have a right to charge you double, dude. Nobody threatens me in my own cab."

"Yea well, you've clearly never met me then have you," Reid snapped, throwing the money into the dish beside the driver's head. He waited. "Oh and don't keep the change."

Bastard, he swore under his breath. Turning to face Northwestern Memorial Hospital, he took a sharp breath, the icy air piercing the back of his throat and causing his eyes to sting. _Luke._

What do you do? Go to the desk like a moron? Plead to see the one you love? Not fucking likely.

"Excuse me! Where'd you think you're going?" a doctor had asked rudely to Reid's solid back as he pushed him to one side through the plastic lined blue doors.

"In here," was Reid's reply. Honest and full of 'I don't give a fuck'. It worked. Nobody questioned him again and the scrubs made for an excellent disguise. As he reached the right corridoor he whisked his head around, surveying every wall chart with patient's names. He saw it- Luke Snyder Room 6B.

As he grabbed the relevant chart from the stand, ignoring the wonky eyebrow raises from resident doctors and nurses, he walked and kept walking. He felt his chest empty, his shoulder slump against the wall and eyes close in relief. He wasn't in danger. He checked and checked again until the tiny black lines and numbers swam on the pages.

He had allowed himself one realisation of late. He had many and since his arrival in Oakhell, the list was growing, but this was one he had allowed and signed off, given the Reid Oliver permission and sign of approval.

He had the beginning of a relationship, he wanted a relationship and in some obscure part of him, he needed one. Luke had awoken a sleeping giant of affection and warmth that Reid was sure had never existed. Even as a kid, as a teenager, as a young adult, friends and short stint lovers didn't come close. He kept a necessary distance, one that reaped the benefits but one that didn't tear you up inside when it fell apart- which they always did. Family lead with a different set of rules, one which Reid had accepted would hurt and hurt hard. This was a singular exception- until now.

It was as if Reid had slept up until the day he set foot in Oakdale. He couldn't give Luke all of the credit as others had played a vital role in changing his life so importantly but he was so special, so integral to everything now that Reid had felt panic rise in his throat. Even knowing Luke was stable wasn't enough, he had to see it, prove it, establish it then see it through till he was well and only then would the worry about losing him disappear. Those sweeping images he held under lock and key were fighting for the surface now and had been for some time: walking in a park, meals for two, nights in with a movie, meeting up at lunch, breakfast in bed, lazy morning sex in the shower, someone's warm body after night shift, grocery shopping, going to the movies... simple but completely unattainable, especially to Reid Oliver. To Luke Snyder they were easy breezy and exciting possibilities, most of them covered with a big red tick but Reid wanted them all and badly.

He turned the peach walled corridoors time and time again until he reached B ward and his eyes flickered to room 6. He took a deep breath, reigned himself in and prepared to hit Doctor mode in an instant before slowly edging open the door.

It may have been a baseball bat to the stomach for all Reid knew. He could barely stand to look at Luke.  
Pathetic injured bird or lame puppy, turned awkwardly in a creased bed with his belongings half out of the cupboard, spilling into the stifling room. Reid snapped.

"Who's in charge of the patient in 6B?" he yelled, halting the entire corridoor or doctors, nurses, patients and public.

"Excuse me but, who are you?" asked a young tanned and attractive male doctor who ordinarily Reid would have fancied a piece of but now he simply wanted to rip his pretty face off. Anyway, Luke was prettier.

"Dr Reid Oliver. Registered Neurosurgeon. Memorial Hospital, Oakdale, Illionois," Reid replied matter of factly and with a little more information than he considered people should need to know.

"Ok, let me just get my chief of staff, we've had forty casualties in the past half hour so we're a little behind schedule and frantic, I wasn't even aware we had a transfer or -"

"Junior, tell you what. You hold back on that and do me another favour. Get one of your nurses to pull her finger out of wherever it's hiding and put it to good use. The patient in 6B needs care. He's in a hospital. Usually the two come hand in hand... Here at Northwestern? Clearly it's a lesson to be learned and guess what? I'm the man to do it."

The young doctor, Reid established from his garish name plate, was one Doctor Roberts. Do they pluck them from the womb nowadays, he wondered bitterly, I've got socks older than him. He blinked twice before something seemed to register. When it did, he called a young blonde nurse with a bun over, took the chart and clear plastic bag of sample tubes from her hand placing them in the station behind him and instructed her to do just as Reid asked. She smiled, nodded and did exactly that. Reid nodded his gratitude and scowled the rest. Morons.

As they entered Luke's room, Reid could barely bear the lack of light. The air hung under the ceiling and rays were swallowed up by the dull walls.

"Nurse? The window, if you wouldn't mind," Reid stated, more of a command than a question but he prided himself on the inclusion of some nicety.

Luke was still, his hair twisty as usual and face flushed pink as the sheet cut him off at the neck. The starch was overboard, sending Reid's patience spiralling once more. Only the best was enough...

"Nurse. Sheets."

She obeyed. As she reached to grab the material, Luke's eyelashed fluttered and a small muffled noise escaped his mouth. Reid was by his side in a second.

"Luke... Luke... Hey listen. Don't try and fight the medication. Just sleep ok? You're alright." Thinking back to the last time they were patient and doctor, Reid sighed and fought a smile, much to his shock... 'affectionate' came easier now. He could barely hold back. He missed Luke so fully that he barely knew how to compute something so ridiculous. He let it fill him, wash over him and rid him of Doctor Oliver, just for a moment- the nurse could earn her wages for now.

Luke fought against his drowsiness. "So stubborn," Reid whispered as the blonde nurse continued to work on pulling the sheets down and tucking in new ones, "don't be so stubborn. I'll kick your ass when you're out of here, so stubborn's going to get you nowhere." His fingers found Luke's cheek and palm found his jaw. It felt whole and proper as Reid shut his eyes, willing Luke to understand and simply rest.

"A Mmms ouu."

"Luke, seriously, no talking. Sleep. Listen to me this time."

Luke's breathing heaved and his arm reached out sharply. Reid moved, fluid like, and calmly stroked lines up and down Luke's back. The rhythmic pace lulled him immediately, his shoulders noticeably dipping and hips turning into the mattress. Now covered in new sheets, the nurse focusing on bringing in necessary bedside belongings and tying the curtains to one side, Luke seemed to rest. Reid busied himself with tucking in the thick blue blanket, remembering med school folding rules, and smoothing down the edges of Luke's room so that nothing went untouched.

**Three hours later**

"You? What's your name?" Reid called out in the corridoor, alerting the blonde nurse with the bun.

She stepped back, seemingly alarmed, but smiled a little and answered, "Nurse Wilson, Mary Wilson."

Reid had to commend her. She'd worked, put up with his shit and done it all without screwing up- it had to count for something. He smiled and replied. "Thank you for your work here today. My hospital could benefit from a few extra nurses like you."

She blushed and smiled coyly before composing herself and nodding politely. "Thank you Doctor Oliver. I did as you asked and alerted my Chief of Staff as to your visit. He's still dealing with the emergency at present but he seemed to recognise your name and was more than accepting of your being here."

_Too right he should be_. "Well that's good to hear," Reid responded, uncharacteristically thinking before speaking, "I'll be staying until Mr Snyder is well enough to be discharged and he shall be discharged into my care. He is my patient. Please alert the relevant people and tick the relevant forms."

She took details and shook his hand sharply, turning to leave. He watched her blonde bun disappear in the hustle and bustle of the busy corridoor and felt thankful Oakdale Memorial was a community hospital and wasn't swamped in hell like this one. A busy OR was appealing for the soul and something he'd gain from an expert department but the inner city masses was something he felt happy to have left behind in Dallas.

He found his way back to Luke in seconds, checking his vitals and temperature. Reid felt himself calm and the world grow that little bit smaller. He pulled the metal chair to his bedside and sighed. He was doing ok. All in all, it was a relapse but a short one grown out of a body verging on the brink of chronic anaemia. 'Too much too soon' was the phrase Reid allocated.

He was pale, his skin a little shiney, but he looked strong even when lying curled on his side. Reid reached down to the cupboard by the bed and checked for Luke's cell and wallet. Lily Walsh was away with some other shady Oakhell business man who Reid was sure could be the next sad sap to add a surname to her already ridiculous list. Holden had whisked the skinny weepy woman away to check out wedding venues. Even Lucinda Walsh had comandeered the private jet and had disappeared from society so Reid, while scrolling down Luke's phonebook, didn't quite know who to call. He text and left voicemails for Holden and Lily, urging them not to worry and putting himself in a position likely to expose himself to endless questions. He explained that Luke was looked after and would be staying with Reid as he recovered. Yes he would, Reid knew he'd decided it as soon as he'd taken a look at Luke's greyish cheeks and clocked his chart. There was now a mental tick next to 'family'. Reid was determined to think of it all. He hadn't done this before, played this domestic role but he was shocked at how easy it came to him. He wasn't just playing Doctor now.

Luke stirred and muffled incoherently. Reid's hand was on Luke's arm in seconds, anything to show he wasn't alone.

"Where 'm I?"

Reid craned his neck to catch Luke's eyes. They widened instantly and dampened.

"Chicago."

Luke shuffled onto his side without any noticeable pain and tried to sit up.

"You're here?"

Reid smiled, his hand still on Luke's arm. "I'm here. You're ok."

Luke frowned and looked down at the pillow, shading his eyes. "I took care of myself. If you'r-"

"Don't you dare apoligise, it was your body not you."

Luke pulled himself up, eyes never leaving Reid's and reached forward slowly. Reid didn't move, he couldn't bring himself to put anything between himself and Luke, not today. Luke stopped, a small space short of Reid's face. "Am I sick again? I need Doctor Oliver for a moment."

"No. You're not sick again," Reid explained, "your body obviously hasn't fully recovered. Things like this can sometimes happen, it's not uncommon but your levels of erythropoietin reduced ... that means you didn't have enough red blood cells because your kidney struggled and so you became anaemic. It would explain tiredness, shortness of breath and the fact you couldn't stay vertical for more than an hour or so. The doctors here have your levels under control and we'll monitor you futher at OUR Memorial. You're ok. Nothing serious. You didn't do anything but you did show signs of fatigue and slight malnutrition which in my book gets you an ass kicking from me... but," he smiled a little now, his eyes lighting up as they looked into Luke's, "you're going to be just fine if you do. as. i. say."

Luke kissed him. It was instant and messy, his lips touching to the right of Reid's but it was good, so good. Reid's fingers caressed down Luke's neck, jaw, shoulder, arm and ending with his hand where fingers intwined.

"Rosie said to give you a hug and since, well, hugs aren't exactly me ... I'm passing on the sentiment."

Luke chuckled, looking down at their hands, pulling them tighter. "I haven't seen you for two weeks and I'm on a short stint in hospital... still no hugs?" he asked, attempting to flutter his eyelashes.

"Stop that," Reid warned with a smirk, "if you're a good boy and do as I say and we can get out of here tonight then maybe a hug might be acceptable."

"Oh shucks," Luke said with a shrug which Reid considered to be the most adorable thing he'd ever seen.

"Your family know you're ok so don't worry about them. I have a car, courtesy of that wonderful woman you call your Grandmother, ready to collect us when your discharged and you're staying with me."

Luke brightened instantly, shoulders lifting and a smile tugging at his cheeks. "Really?" His eyebrows wiggled suggestively.

"For someone who should still be slightly sedate and amaemic, you move like lightening."

Luke laughed under his breath, gazing down with a hint of nerves. "Would Katie not mind?"

"Luke, you're both related and you clear up after yourself. She'll no doubt want to kick my ass out and keep you instead."

"Ok then," Luke started, sitting up further, "I'd love to."

"Oh that wasn't me asking, it was me telling but it's great that you want to aswell," Reid teased, pushing the chair backwards and regretably breaking their connection.

"Thank you," Luke whispered as he slid his legs out of the bed and let his bare feet hit the floor, "I mean, I've caused you so much trouble, so many problems and it's never just been simple with us since we met. I just want things to go smoothly now and for my life to..."

Luke stopped himself, his brow knitting in a firm frown and lips pursing tightly.

Reid, even after a long and stressful day, could see the subtle signs flickering across Luke's face. "What is it?" He pulled on the edge of the bed, dragging the chair forward to cage Luke in. He slotted his knees either side of Luke's, their hands found eachother instantly.

Luke didn't answer for a few seconds, his brain sought the right way to term his words. "I want to put things right. My life isn't the way I'd like it to be," he explained. Luke felt the tug in Reid's hands, the stiffness return in his shoulders. "No not you, not us, nothing like that. Well, I guess it does have a little bit to do with us but... ok look. I don't feel like I'm me anymore. When I was sixteen, I knew who I was and what I loved and what I wanted. The one area of mess was my sexuality. I came out, I dealt with all of that and all of the crap that came with it. I was ok for a while, lonely but ok. Noah came into my life and I found a balance for a short time, a version of me that I liked because I wasn't lonely, I was happy, still at college and my dreams were intact. After the election and my own stupidity, I felt like that was the start of the downhill ride to where I am now. It was like my finger never really left the self destruct button. I don't feel like Luke anymore and I'm living other people's lives. My moms, Damian's, my dad's, my grandmother's and I lived through Noah too, throwing everything into him and his life. I just want me. I want myself back and in England, for even a few days, I felt myself again and I was writing. I wanted to try so hard to prove I could still be that guy and want those things. I did it and I want that back again. You helped me find that." Luke sucked in a breath and just stared forward, eyes seeking understanding.

Reid couldn't speak. He didn't do monologues, didn't ramble about feelings and philisophical ideas. He's so young and immature but so wise and beyond his years, Reid thought with admiration and wished he could share the same and offer something in return that was worthy. He could only think of one thing.

"If you need time, space or I don't know what people usually say but if you want to just be you for a while... that's ok. That's important."

Luke reached out, his hand unsure about where to settle as it found a resting place on Reid's chest. His eyes followed and then found Reid's, shining and blue. "I don't want that. I want you."

Those words. Shivers reached the ends of Reid's spine as his lips found Luke's. No explaination needed- as if there ever was. Luke was ok, he was safe now, he was happier and he wasn't going anywhere. They were in this together.


	31. Chapter 31

**Author's Notes:**

**_Ok this was SUCH a pleasure to write ;) FOR OBVIOUS REASONS. I swooned writing it. The last episode hinted at giving us something and I REALLY wanted to see it and see Reid cope... so this is my way of getting that in the next Chapter. You'll see what I mean. REALLY hope you enjoy... :)_**

**THE NEXT DAY...**

Reid threw a couple of icecubes into a glass and filled it with Katie's homemade lemonade. He swilled it around a little, enjoying the clinking sound, then settled the glass on the table infront of the couch.

Luke looked up, his tired eyes glinting with something.

"What?"

Luke chuckled softly and reached for the drink. "Nothing, just I'm still getting used to you, that's all."

"What's there to get used to?" Reid asked, his nose wrinkling in distaste.

"Just the little surprises that's all... Nothing bad," Luke urged, reaching up for Reid's arm and pulling him down onto the couch. It was a dusky Sunday afternoon and Luke had never wanted Reid more in his whole life. It was a full day of them, full of just their words, their touches, their decisions. Luke wasn't sure his heart could deal all that well.

Reid let his feet drop onto the coffee table and leaned back into the cushions. "I brought you lemonade and you get all gooey. Wait till I crank out the big guns, who knows what you'll do." Reid wiggled his eyebrows across at Luke with only a fragment of a smile. It was easy and so natural. He wondered how there was ever a time when it wasn't this way, when it didn't feel like this.

"There's more?" Luke asked, face expectant and bright, his hands running small lines up and down Reid's exposed arm. Reid clenched his teeth... Down boy, he warned himself.

"So much more."

Luke squirmed a little and let his head fall into the crook of Reid's neck comfortably. Reid shuffled back, his hand falling by Luke's side and body sliding in microscopically to fit, puzzle-like. It was slight and almost missable but, to Luke, he could feel every millimetre and knew Reid too well now. They were silent for a while, the only noise was some large lunged woman on TV brandishing a mallet and announcing the renovation of a family of ten's home. Reid's eyes were glazed and paying zero attention. Every synapse was firing on all cylinders, screaming and flailing inside at the sheer head reeling bliss that was Luke fingering the hem of his black sweater, just above the waistband on his jeans. Holy fucking god help me, he thought, holding back is not, do you hear me brain, not possible.

Luke's warm body was unmistakably pressed against him, his heated breath peppering his neck and Reid could feel his fingertips slipping from the ledge of 'do not have sex with your boyfriend the day he's released from hospital and is still a little weak'.

"You smell nice," Luke purred, his top lip catching Reid's jaw as he spoke. He's doing this shit on purpose to drive me insane, Reid concluded, shuffling himself a tiny amount.

"Yea?"

"Mmmmhmmm," Luke breathed, all slow and rested, "you don't smell the way people would expect you to, all chemicals and doctor stuff. It's nicer. It's soap and I don't know, just you." Luke's voice was deep and muffled by Reid's skin.

Jesus.

"You alright down there?" Reid teased, talking into the top of Luke's head.

"Never better actually," he replied with a sigh, lifting his gaze to meet Reid's and leaning in gently for a lingering kiss. His lips easing away too slowly.

Reid breathed it all out. "Do they teach you this stuff at Oakdale High or something?" he asked, his impatience charging his words.

Luke's eyes widened. "Teach what?"

"The Oakhell art of seduction, that's what. Luke I don't stand a chance here do I?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, lips pursing in a slight pout and face the picture of innocence.

"You!" Reid laughed, a few centimentres from those puckered lips, "you're hardly making it easy for a guy to resist. I mean... Hand. There. Driving me crazy. Do you have any idea of the effect you have on people?"

Luke looked taken aback. He swallowed, a smirk tugging playfully at his lips. "I didn't know I was doing anything. I mean, I didn't drive Noah crazy if I did this kind of stuff."

Reid made a noise of disgust and rolled his eyes to the heavens. "Well give the guy a medal, a big one, because how the hell he could resist this is beyond me. The more I hear about him behind closed doors the more I'm shocked I didn't cut his head open to find nuts and bolts."

Luke muffled a laugh. "He was affectionate in his own way."

"Luke I'm not just talking about that, I mean in the space of ten minutes I think you've covered three of the things guaranteed to unhinge me. You know how hard that is to do?"

Luke blushed a little and sat up. "I did? I mean, I knew I was touching a little more and I know I can hardly stay away but I'm a touchy feely kind of person. I hug, I reach out..."

"You play with waistbands, that's what you do," Reid laughed out, "you stroke and tickle and wriggle and breathe and whisper..."

Reid stopped himself. The look in Luke's eyes did it. He realised what he was saying and how he was saying it and it stunned him to silence.

Luke smiled, a huge sparkling smile, his eyes filling with lust and pride. "Oh my god," he breathed out, "I had no idea that I made you feel THAT much

... I mean..." Reid closed his eyes. Reign the fuck in Reid, you're a man not a teenager. Luke bent his neck to catch Reid's wandering eyes. "I didn't think I was doing much."

Reid laughed full of sarcasm. "I don't think I'm used to it, that's all."

"What do you mean?" Luke asked with a slight gasp. He felt the inevitable insecurity creep in as it always did.

"Chill your jets Snyder. I'm talking about forgetting what it's like to have a young, twenty something curled around you murmering stuff into your ear."

"You make me sound like some sort of tease!"

"Well you said it." Reid laughed and nudged Luke's side, his eyes glowing with humour.

"Seriously Reid, I only have to breathe close to you and I drive you crazy?" Luke snaked his way closer with each word, eyes deepening and his bottom lip sliding between his teeth.

Reid second guessed him and cut the nonsense, tearing through his own restraints and throwing caution to the wind. He was a doctor. If Luke could be seduced by anyone the day after being discharged from hospital and survive it, the Great Doctor Oliver could do it. "Yes."

Luke liked the sound of that, it was obvious by the way he began nibbling at Reid's ear, his tongue working its way down to Reid's jaw and tracking the shape along till they were face to face. The air thick around them closed in as Reid tipped himself forward and Luke back. A small noise of surprise left Luke's mouth as he fell back onto the sofa, his legs sliding under Reid as he climbed up and over. Luke entwined himself in Reid's arms, hands lazily draping themselves around his neck. Reid kissed, hard and wet, along Luke's exposed collar bone, tugging on the oh-too-unecessary t-shirt he was wearing. "Mmmmm. Nice," Luke purred, his eyes rolling as they closed. Reid nudged his hips further and felt the sweet sense of satisfaction as Luke sighed deeply and leaned up a little more frantic, desperate to keep lip to lip contact.

"Nicer?" Reid asked, his voice low in Luke's ear sending vibrations across his skin in shockwaves. Reid felt him shudder underneath and only pushed it further. His clever hands, wide and strong, slid open down Luke's torso, his body rippling as they went, and pulled delicately at the navy blue t-shirt. It was over his head in seconds leaving his hair twistier than usual and face on the brink of flushing.

Reid had seen Luke like this before, all submissive and basking in it all, but it never failed to hit him hard everytime as if it was the first. He was young, so young, gentle, passionate, trusting and honest... so much that Reid considered he wasn't.

"Don't have t'be so careful, m'not going to break," Luke spoke into the kiss. He could feel the want, the need for more bubbling under his skin, forcing his fingers that bit harder into Reid's back and tilting his hips further upwards.

"No you're not. I'm a doctor remember."

Luke laughed, small and distracted, as his fists filled with Reid's hair and pulled down. It wasn't met with resistance or an urging to go slower and be good. Reid allowed it, he could barely stop himself if he was truthful, but Luke melted into the shock and awe. People spent too much time worrying and protecting that he always felt stifled and here, again, Reid's understanding extended in armfulls to scoop Luke up and let him be. In this case, Luke smiled into the hundredth kiss at his ability to push Reid's buttons, a guy who built his life on a bedrock of self protection. Gotcha, he thought.

"Love you," Luke said faintly, barely above a whisper.

Reid heard it, Luke saw the microscopic twinge of recognition in his face as he tilted his head, letting his tongue run along Luke's lips then inside in a movement as fluid as water. "Mmmm," Reid groaned tasting peppermint tea and swallowing hard before opening his eyes and fixing them on Luke's, "consider this your welcome home gift Mr Snyder."

"You really shouldn't have," Luke murmered, the humour and tickles of Reid's breath both combining to cause him to shivver. His back arched and Reid's entire body weighed down fully. Reid stopped, one hand on the button to Luke's jeans and the other lost in the cushions behind Luke's head.

"Let me try something."

Luke blinked open his heavy eyes and nodded. Anything. Everything.

Reid leaned in close, his nose grazing the curve of Luke's jaw and blew, hot and slow. Luke groaned and twisted on the couch as his skin washed with tingles and his hair stood on end. His entire body tensed then relaxed in one continous wave of pleasure. "Wow," was all he mustered.

Reid could feel the tone of Luke's voice, so full of the sexiest desperation and need. He leaned back up and caught the remains of a satisfied frown. Mission accomplished. "See. That's what I mean."

Luke gazed up in a haze of desire and happiness and into Reid's blue eyes. He felt his heart race and body react to Reid's very soul. It was a feeling so new and scary, so raw and deep that he forgot to breathe. Reid began to lean in again, his neck tilting to found open skin. He wanted to know every inch.

"Reid?" Luke rushed out in an uneven voice muffled by Reid's hair.

They leaned apart, Reid's eyes hovvering above Luke's, steely and intense. "Mhhmm?"

"Can we do this properly? Everything?"

Reid smirked. Sexy and self assured. "If we're talking sex then I'm gonna worry you forgot our first time."

Luke chuckled, half embarrassed and half amused, and buried his head up in Reid's chest.

"No, not that, well kind of. We haven't had a normal relationship or whatever. I just want to do it properly, I really want to."

"So you mean the whole shebang? First date, take you to the movies, buy you a soda, kiss you in the back row, refuse to let you pay, drive you home, a quick peck on the porch?." Reid pulled a face at every word. "I think that ship might have sailed Romeo."

Luke looked hurt, his face fell and arms grew limp at Reid's hip. "Oh. Ok." He shuffled a little before Reid's lips shut his stupid insecurities up.

"But if you want proper and normal then I guess we can do it our way," he suggested, kissing between words and letting his hand drift to Luke's blonde hair.

A smile crept cutely onto Luke's face, his dimples on full display. Something in Reid fluttered. "Really?"

"Really. There is one condition though."

"What's that?"

"You're loaded. you buy the popcorn."


	32. Chapter 32

**Author's Notes:**  
**_Man, this was wildly self indulgent! It's prettylong too! Plenty of Reid and Katie, a dash of Ethan and family orientated Luke, a version of Lily I like and miss and some soppy Reid and Luke. *sigh* This was fun to write. Hope it's fun to read! Feedback is appreciated in bucketloads :D (as usual!) Any mistakes are mine. Thank you to those who have given such lovely feedback wherever I post this- it's cherished a lot :)  
_**

"When are you picking him up?" Katie asked as she smacked her lips together, red stain perfectly applied.

"Dunno, just later," Reid replied. He was distracted trying to remember the last time he'd done this. He and Luke were together, he'd kind of said the three terrifying words that solidified a relationship and they'd already had sex. They still had no clue where they stood. From blackmail and hatred to the saga of Luke and Noah, following that was Reid's month away and Luke's illness and shortly after things had changed. Written down or said out loud, it seemed epic and like a long story but their 'relationship' or whatever it was, was not. It was undefined, new and completely confusing, not to mention the impact of each party's own personal battles thrown into the mix.

"Do you know Luke at all?" Katie asked, snapping him out of his insular monologue.

Reid glanced up from his work to the sofa where she was now sweeping brush strokes across her cheeks. "Yes." Reid was not in the mood for Katie and her agony aunt-esque relationship counselling.

"You haven't set a time to meet? Did you not offer to pick him up?"

"He has a car. He can drive."

Katie sighed, frowning to herself. Reid huffed and dug his elbow into the table, his eyes darting backwards and forwards from Katie to his notes. He was silent for a second. Damn her insight.

"Ok what? What is so wrong with that?"

She smiled, a little smugness in her face. "Well you're hardly going to give Jane Austen a run for her money in the romance department but it's pretty basic stuff Reid. A guy picks up his date."

"We're both guys."

She laughed and rolled her eyes, flicking her mascara tube dramatically. "God you're hard work!"

"Good. We're done with that then." He turned back to his work immediately. Katie turned her kohl lined eyes to him, staring him out. She dragged her gaze to his worn jeans and battered boots then up to his old fashioned style shirt. Out of her mouth came a squeaky giggle, surpressed immediately by her manicured hand. Reid pretended he couldn't see her and looked more intently at his pages. She'll get bored he thought, please for the love of god get bored. She didn't. "Am I that darn gorgeous that you can't take your eyes off me?"

She smiled. "No, handsome, I just have an idea."

"Good for you." His eyes didn't move from his paper.

"You know how we've both had a rough few months and haven't really seen one another much?"

His brow crinkled and lips pursed. He had a feeling he wouldn't like where this was going. "Mmm hmmm."

"Well, I finish my stint on the show at noon and I'm free. Jake's got his babysitter and I happen to know that you've only got a couple of consults this morning before your late shift tonight so..."

"You're thinking you'll have an afternoon out and leave me to have a day of peace and tranquility?" He glanced up, cocking his eyebrow.

"Not quite. How about I take you shopping? I need a new dress for the station's formal party in a few weeks and you... Well Reid you need a new look."

"Ok now you're just being insulting."

She snapped her mirror shut and bounced up out of the seat, taking up a new residence at Reid's side and tugging at the paper in his hand. His eyes widened with accusation and he held on tight.

"Reid come on! It'll be fun. It's been a long time since it was just me and you."

"There's a reason for that," he whispered, pushing his books out of her direct reach.

"Ok. Be like that. You just go out with your perky, hot and YOUNG boyfriend and look like a cradle snatcher from the dark ages."

She hit a nerve. "You play dirty," he snapped.

"Too right I do because you know Reid my darling, on this, I might just know a little more than you."

"Well I bet you're so proud." He just couldn't find the energy to be amenable.

"I am and so will you be when Luke looks at you like he wants to eat you."

Reid slowly lifted his head, eyes inquisitive. "How?"

"By the power of a decent outfit and the magic of Katie Snyder," she chimed, her arms sashaying to her side playfully, "and did I ever tell you I had three guys after me at once?"

Reid choked on his own breath. He let out a wry laugh. "The fact one of them was Hank makes that particular morsel of your past even more amusing."

She ignored his bite. "So are you coming or what?"

He glared at her solidly. "Do I have even a hint of a choice?" He knew he didn't and something, somewhere deep inside, secretly found the idea intriguing. He hadn't had a female friend to do those kind of things with. Shopping, to Reid Oliver, was a fifteen minute rush job in a supermarket filling a basket with the cheap and practical.

"Not in the slightest."

He groaned, most of it put on for her benefit and put down his pen. She grinned, red stain and all, and reached for her cardigan. "Ok Oliver grab your jacket, we've got cash to burn."

...

"Luke! Luke! Luke!"

Ethan was in a creative mood. Inspired by his past visit to the hospital and the fact he had babbled relentlessly about being a surgeon like Doctor Reid, Grandma Emma had, in her infinite wisdom, bought him a 'Make your own skeleton' kit complete with sticky kid glue. Luke had witnessed her fallen face when Ethan had pulled off the top and spotted splashes of sticky all over her varnished kitchen table.

In seconds there was newspaper everywhere and one very happy and occupied Ethan Snyder. Luke had been distracted plenty since arriving home and knew that his parents being away meant that he had peace but even still, he found himself staying at the farm. Nat, Ethan and Emma were so much fun to be around and he knew if he felt even the slightest bit poorly, they'd cheer him up.

"Yes Ethan?" he called back, putting down his book on the bed. He ran downstairs two at a time to be greeted by Ethan's new friend.

"Look, his skull's made. It's solid and won't break just like real skulls. If you drink lots of milk, your bones get strong so that's why I put lots of glue on."

Luke smiled, watery and lopsided. He could barely resist squishing his brother's cheeks. "Aww Eth that's so clever." He surveyed the wobbly stand and scary looking paper skull sticking off the top which was shining in the light from the thick pasting of glue. It looked ridiculous but it was clever, so clever for a boy as young as Ethan.

"How did you do this?" Luke asked, catching his Grandma's eyes and sharing an adult smile.

Ethan beamed, picking up his tools. "Oh all you do is this. You look at the book and the notes," he said, offering Luke a look, "and then you get the right pieces and slot them together then you just glue and attach them so they make the bones strong. Once you've done that you put them in the right place. I don't know some of them though so I look them up in my encyclopedia... look!"

Luke took the hardback book from Ethan's hand and smiled. It was his old one, his cherished book of facts that he's poured over as a kid. Luke felt a twinge of nostaliga and grinned lovingly at his little brother. "So what brought all of this on then eh?" Luke asked, handing the artist his tools back.

Ethan busied himself again but spoke as he worked. "Doctor Reid. My teacher too though. She said I was good at science and I did good for Doctor Reid and I told her so she said I should read more books and look at more pictures. I did. Dad said he'd take me to the science museum when it's my birthday and we can see dinosaur bones."

Ethan's face glowed and his eyes shone with excitement. Luke felt as if he would burst. He let his mind drift back to the story Reid had told him about his father and the science museum and immediately filled with pride. Ethan had the semblance of a dream and even if it didn't materialise in reality, a dream was precious and he clearly loved what he was doing.

"That's awesome. You think I could come too? It all sounds so cool."

Ethan grabbed Luke's hand with his small one and shouted, "YES! Luke you come too and we can do all the stuff together. The things dad doesn't want to do, you know the games and stuff."

Luke nodded and smiled back. "It's a plan." He noticed Ethan was eyeing up his outfit and caught his eye.

"Anyway why are you wearing those clothes? Where are you going?" Ethan asked, a hint of protectiveness in his little voice.

Luke laughed. "Well, I'm off out tonight."

Ethan let out a little gasp. "With Doctor Reid?"

"Yes, actually. As a matter of fact it is with Doctor Reid." Luke glanced over at Emma who was silent, watching her boys, and offered him a grin of acceptance.

"Yes my little pumpkin, Luke has a date so we are going to have milk and cookies and watch a DVD. How does that sound?" She made her way over to the table and sat by her grandsons.

"Can I have two cookies?" Ethan asked, eyes huge and greedy. Luke laughed remembering when he used to do exactly the same when he was small.

"Yes sweetie, you can have two." She hugged him close, her eyes finding Luke's and sparkling. Luke knew she was thinking of those moments they'd shared when he was young that mirrored the here and now. Sitting in the farm kitchen surrounded by fake skeleton ones, glue and his family, he felt so truly and simply happy. He felt little pieces of himself fit back together again after they'd been scattered and broken for a long time.

...

Reid had a headache.

"How about this one?" Katie called, throwing the curtain to one side and sitting on one hip, her leg tipped to the side. It was a purple dress, tight at the top, flared at the bottom and patterned so strongly that Reid wanted to reach for a pair of sunglasses.

"No."

She sighed, over the top and irritated. "Reid that's the seventh I've tried on and you've just said no. I mean, throw the girl a bone here." She disappeard behind the velvet screen again.

"Seventh? Feels like seventeenth," he complained, realising to even himself that he was behaving a little like a petulant teen who was void of all of the attention. Be good, he told himself quite uncharacteristically.

"Ok this is the second last one and I happen to like this so please don't be honest. I want you to lie to me."

When the material slipped back and she appeared, he knew this was the one. It was pink, cap sleeved and retro looking, very classical with tiny flowers dotted all over it. He even noticed her breasts and shocked himself. It must be bloody fantastic, he thought.

"Vomit inducing."

She threw a questioning look and put her hand on her hip. "Ok. Now I'm confused. Is that you lying or being serious?"

He smirked. "You said you wanted me to lie so I lied. Wow Katie make up your mind."

"Argh Reid just tell me what you think. Use that blunt honesty of yours."

He smiled slowly, letting his eyes take it all in. She deserved this much, he thought. "You look good. It fits well, legs and boobs look good, the colour doesn't make your eyes water or bore you to death, it's kind of inbetween and it looks," he stumbled over a word, "pretty."

She phsically jumped on the spot and crushed her ands together infront of her chest. The smile on her face was a 100W beam. Reid felt a little flicker of love for her, as he always did when she wore him down. If he was totally truthful and brutally honest she looked better than pretty. He was silent for a second and then something happened... he gave her a straight out and honest compliment. "You look beautiful."

He was sure there were tears inamongst the girly squeals and hands and hair and hugs. He sat, quite rigidly, but smirked cleverly none the less. He could only think of one thing- I wish Luke was here, he'd be so proud.

An hour and one dress later, Katie had dragged Reid to a gentleman's outfitters and he stood, solid as steel, facing rows upon rows of black suits, navy suits, grey suits, pinstripe suits, skinny suits, baggy suits, ones with patches, ones with pockets, dinner jackets, daytime cuts, decorative styles, white ensembles, velvet jackets and top and tails.

"Is this some kind of joke?" he asked under his breath, quite diplomatically he thought.

Katie swatted him away and went to work, slotting her hands between the rails checking each style and each colour in turn. She kept mumbling 'oh no' and 'that's nice' over and over as she assessed each rail. Reid stood still, confusion plastered all over his face. Why the hell did people feel the need to spend so much money on a legion of suits when they all looked the damn same? He shook his head- the rich- that's who. He owned two suits- one black classical suit and one dinner jacket for the odd formal occassion he'd attended back in med school. He was sure it'd still fit as he hadn't changed in physique much since but had zero idea why, for a casual date with Luke Snyder, he'd need something like any of this.

"Reid come here!" Katie commanded and he groaned at himself as he found his feet moving and obeying her every word. Shit, I'm whipped, he concluded.

"You called darling?" he sang sarcastically as he neared her side, eyes full of fear as she thrust two pairs of pants into his hands and a shirt that looked so full of starch it'd slice skin. "And what do you propose I do with these?"

She stopped and glared at him, perfectly plucked eyebrows raised in accusation. "Well, they're what you call clothes, genius, you try them on, now go on while I look at the rest of the racks and give me a shout once you'd ready to show me." She directed his back to the changing rooms.

Once inside, Reid stared at himself in the mirror. He tilted his head, taking in his chest, ass, legs and finished by ruffling a hand through his hair. It was getting longer now, a little messy and curly but it was the usual auburn tinted stuff that had grown there all of his life. He took in his brown shirt and tight dark jeans, nodding in appreciation at how they made his ass look. He didn't see a problem with anything. Who gives a damn what I look like, he argued with himself internally, if they don't like it then they know what they can do. As long as this stuff looks ok under a labcoat or scrubs then that's fine by me.

"Done yet?" Katie called, throwing more coat hangers over the rail, her heels clip clopping back out to the shop floor. He sighed roughly and unzipped his jeans to begin the painful process.

...

"So you're ok baby? You promise me because I'll come straight home. It was only Doctor Oliver insisting you were fine that stopped me in the first place," Lily explained, her concern conveyed perfectly even down the telephone.

"Yes mom, I'm fine. I do promise. It was just a minor hiccup. The doctors said that I was a little run down and had the outset of anaemia. I'm ok though. I've got new tablets and Reid, Doctor Oliver, has been great so I've got plenty of people here to take care of me. I'm at the farm with Grandma, Ethan, Faith and Nat so I've got plenty of people to keep me company. You stay there and do what you have to do."

"Ok honey. You would tell me if you needed me to come home right?" she asked, her voice almost pleading. Luke wondered if he should just ask her to return just so she could stop worrying but it was completely unecessary. If truth be told he felt so cared for that adding Lily to the mixture would verge on that level of suffocation.

"I would tell you, I promise. Look, mom Reid, Doctor Oliver, has be monitored. Believe me, if I showed any signs of being poorly, he'd know."

There was an odd silence for a few seconds. Luke felt a brief flash of nerves in his stomach. "You like him an awful lot don't you?" she asked gently. It was the first time he'd noticed an acceptance in her voice that signalled she understood that things were over with Noah and he was moving on with his life.

Luke took a deep breath. "Yes mom I do."

"And he takes care of you and makes you happy, right?"

Luke smiled to himself, images of Harvard t-shirts, sandwiches, fluffy blankets, mugs of hot drinks and protective kisses flooding his brain and filling his stomach with a fluttering he could barely control.

"He really does take care of me, he takes care of a lot of people. People don't see it when they meet him because well, he's Reid. He's all about taking two steps back, putting up that wall and only doing the very minimal to go from one exchange to another but he really does have his heart and soul in the right place." Luke heard himself and shook his head momentarily. He knew he was speaking the truth but it was the kindness in his voice, the respect and admiration in his tone, that shocked him. He was proud, so proud to be someone cared for by Reid Oliver and in that moment, he had the overwhelming desire to show Reid exactly what it was like to be given that gift in return. "He does make me happy. I know people probably don't understand it and think I'm crazy but I love being around him."

Lily sighed at the warmth in her son's voice. It felt nice. "Good. I'm pleased sweetie, I really am. I'm sorry for being so awkward with you about Noah and questioning your choices. You know your own mind and I just want the best for you. As much as I don't know him or particularly like him, Reid Oliver has gone above and beyond for you and he makes you sound so lit up inside. That... well, that is all that I need to know."

"Thanks mom. That means a lot. I'm sure when you get to spend time with him, you'll see what I mean."

"Even if I don't baby ... if he makes you happy, that's enough for me. Have a wonderful night. I love you."

Luke felt three years old. He wanted to throw his arms around his mum's neck, bury his face in her hair the way he used to and smell her perfume. He hugged his phone. "I love you too mom, see you when you get back. Night."

...

"Can I be your date tonight please?" Katie cooed, her head to one side surveying her handiwork.

"Put your tongue away Perretti I'm off limits." Reid was a little bitter and avoiding letting her believe that she was right. He felt good, damn good. She'd chosen a pair of well fitted black pants, a pair of stylish black dress shoes and a tight fitting shirt with a thin tie that he could pick of choose. She'd styled his hair with a product that seemed to make it look as if he'd got out of bed and intended each strand to lie as it did. He looked young, felt young and was sure when he walked he'd smoulder. I actually quite fancy myself, he admitted secretly and let out a personal wry titter.

Katie smoothed the material of his shirt, her hand lingering on his chest a little. She couldn't help herself. She stood back and held his shoulders, her eyes darting up and down, searching for imperfections.

"You'll do," she assessed. Reid smiled a small but grateful smile in return, one which didn't go unoticed by her and made her heart swell with pride. Still got it, she decided.

"I text him. I'm meeting him at that farm they own and we're driving together... so you can be smug about that," Reid said, a layer of admission in his voice, letting Katie know that he knew he'd done the right thing.

"Oh I am, believe me. Great. Well, you know what I said... just be thoughtful."

"And by that you mean...?" he asked, his eyebrows raised and eyes searching for an answer.

"A little less you," Katie stated, plain and simple.

"Nice," Reid groaned, checking his watch and feeling a bubble of nerves rise in his chest. He had no idea what to do, how to act, what to say and feared that small talk would occur and he'd start having to list the parts of the brain to get himself through it. Luke. This was Luke, he reminded himself, and they promised that it would be done their way. He shook himself a little and psyched himself to prepare for the worst.

"Ok handsome, I'm off out. Play nice and don't do anything I wouldn't do."

He let out a sarcastic chuckle and pulled a face. "Going off stories I've heard, that leaves me a lot of legroom."

She slapped him playfully. "Yea well, you know what I mean. You look hot. Use it." She kissed his cheek, threw a wink in his direction and was out of the door in seconds.

...

An hour and a half later, Reid stood on the front stoop in the dusky light fiddling relentlessly with the bottom of his shirt. He felt the panic in the back of his throat. He mentally constructed a list of things to say if painful small talk arose and stored them at the back of his brain for later. He looked down, worrying a little that he looked too obvious, too ridiculous and was sure it was as if there was a neon sign hanging above his head proclaiming 'I've been styled by my female friend.'. He shuddered. He was not this guy. He mentally slapped himself and squared his shoulders. Reid Oliver is not easily toppled by a few dollops of hair wax and a new pair of shoes. Adapt and overcome, he schooled himself.

"Oh sweetie I'm so sorry. Oh I really am." Reid heard voices on the other side of the door and felt frantic, his previously confident mantra gone in an instant. The lady Reid knew as 'the one who makes the good pie' came out of the trellace door, pulling a shawl around her shoulders and casting a worried look over her shoulder. Reid saw a figure behind her, their eyes locked and a glittering smile lit up Luke's face.

"Hi," he said quickly, turning back to his grandma, "look, its ok I'm sure Reid won't mind. This is Aunt Meg we're talking about. I know it's serious. It's ok ... just go." She reached up to kiss her grandson, started as if to say more, to fuss and apoligise further (the Snyders and their need to apoligise!), before walking off into the night.

"Bad timing?" Reid asked, turning to Luke with a smirk. He felt shrouded in a thick air of tension, one that felt far too good for his health.

"No. Never," Luke purred, his eyes lingering on Reid's body and taking everything in, "Hi. Again. You erm... nice." Luke felt his cheeks burn and his finger twitch, he wanted touch. It was all new and pritsine and so un-Reid but very very nice. He looked younger but still mature and well put together.

Reid let out a small laugh, shrugging his shoulder slightly and stepping towards Luke. "You too. Maybe erm, what's with the towel?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow towards the cloth tucked into Luke's shirt.

Luke blushed, his hand whipping the offending article away in a second. "Just sibling stuff." He stepped forward, mirroring Reid's move. They were so close together.

"Come here." Reid reached out for Luke, his hand finding a handful of dark navy shirt. He pulled and Luke stumbled the space between them. "Too far away."

It took seconds for them to resist a kiss. Reid's lips met Luke's first, gently but with precision. He traced a hand up Luke's chest, letting it rest on the space between collar and hair. It was warm and soft, so much so that Reid felt his head reel. This was something he knew he would never ever get used to.

"Wow," Luke breathed, his head dizzy and legs a little woozy.

"So you keep saying," Reid whispered, low and in the direction of Luke's ear. The vibrations sent Luke spiraling, his skin tingling.

As Reid's lips found Luke's once more, his hand reaching hair and running lightly and protectively through it as if to pull Luke closer. "There's been a bit of a change of plan," Luke spoke into the kiss, desperate to break the news so nothing could be spoiled.

Reid leaned back, his right hand on Luke's hip. "Don't care," he mumbled, leaning closer and sucking a lingering spot on Luke's jaw, "at all."

Luke shuddered and smiled to himself, his eyes closing as Reid's lips worked magic. "We've erm, we've got to um look after my brother and sister, urm mmm, my grandma's had to, ahhh, go and see my Aunt in hospital," Luke slurred out, distracted by Reid's heat and smell and the fact his hand was wide and slowly sliding upwards, sending tickles up his side.

"Tha's ok," Reid mumbled between kisses as Luke's head tipped back slightly.

"Really?" Luke asked, surfacing to reality for a second, "I mean, it means we can't go out and do all of the things we wanted to."

Reid stopped and let his eyes find Luke's again. They were deep and lustful but sheened with a perfectly bright honesty that caused Luke to catch his breath. "Like I said, I don't care. Wasn't really relishing standing in the hot dog queue or cramming into some contrived little bistro somewhere. I want to spend time with you. Don't care what we do even if it is a night at the Snyder nut house."

Luke rolled his eyes and reached up to kiss slowly and full of graitude. "Thank you. I promise we'll do something proper." He wanted to say more, he wanted to say those three words because that's exactly what he felt but he kept them in his racing heart for a little while longer.


End file.
